Jane

DIARY OF THE OTHER WOMAN PART TWO

FIRST EVENT

When it comes to true life stories, we are subjected to hiding our names, because of security reasons, or personal protection. The question is what do I have to protect or what about me hasn’t been offered on the table of destruction for total wreck. Oh, I won’t place blames, am not one to do that, I take full responsibility of my actions, and I have no blame to throw around, I simply have one person to curse. You see that’s the difference, I don’t pass blames but I place curses, and if there is any God that could hear the voice of a broken sinner, he probably would ensure this curse takes effect. You see my story isn’t one of pity it’s one of wrong parenting. Please stay with me and learn from my story.

My name is Jane, of course you know that’s not my real name of course, I simply had to take this name up for the story. I was the first daughter and first child of my parents, a boy came along some years later. My mum was a very busy wife, hardly available, so at a tender age of 8, I understood what parenting meant. I became a young mother for my little brother, I learnt fast, mind you it never meant anything to me, those were precious moments to me, cause I could carry my little brother all around, and with dad's permission, I could order anything I wanted using his card of course.

Honestly, I don’t know what a mother's love felt like, how would you miss something you don’t even know about nor have. My dad was the only parent I had, and my brother, my little child, as I would always say back then.

When Dad started touching me at age 13 at very sensitive places, I didn’t see anything wrong with that, he's my dad I thought. We went from soft caresses and kisses, always ending with I love you daddy. Later on, I began feeling this was wrong, and during one of the days, my mother was around I mustered courage to ask her, not directly though. Guess what? She shut me up and sent me out of her room, without addressing the issue, somehow I knew what my daddy was doing was wrong but I couldn’t talk to anyone. Thanks to the internet I began to Google, and I knew he was wrong, but I didn’t bother, because dad didn’t bother me anymore, probably because mum was very much available. How would i have guessed that mum's presence was what was keeping him away. At least i am glad at the break, she offered even if she didn't give me her listening ear.

why do i feel that there is a hole somewhere deep in my heart? Am i missing out on something?

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