Episode 2: A New me

“Anna you have to pout more”

“Yes, Direct”

‘Hey! With a red lipstick on those lips, you turn into a seductress”

“To be honest, I am not that good with modeling stuff”

“Will you got to grab this or leave. You're lucky to catch Mr. Wilson’s eye. Remember where you

came from and If I were you, you will not waste this opportunity. I also recall that Michelle gloated over you like her new female actress and it turned out you’re a sour in everybody’s eyes. So? What do you really want”

At that time, I remember why I left him and responded: “Guide me”.

After a few shots and another round of insults, I was able to be more flexible. I keep on holding all

the tears and project my emotions to my face. Direct Cedric knew that I am about to cry so he made me do sexy pose in a lingerie that was just left by his lover in bed or preparing for my lover to return but it never happened. The

original theme was supposed to be daring and bold an independent woman in this society but I could not project the damn idea and he changed it to a unrequited love.

“Darling, you turn out to be a Gem”

“I am so sorry Direct”

“Yeah, I was cursing you the whole day”

“Hmm…”

“Don’t take it to your heart, darling. We are in this business and I am not happy hurting others.

However, a job is a job and your eyes are so lifeless. It started to change when you are about to cry”

“Those are insane insults” and we both laughed.

"How about you continue working with me. I mean, you are still auditioning and it’s not a guarantee.

Why don’t you start little by little with me”

“I mean, why me? And I am not that crazy to still work with you”

“hahaha, you are new to this. It is an adjusting phase and start to grow some horns. You got the

natural seductress look and not anyone can pull it off. Others have to do a lot of make-up, just to get the vibe. But you, a red lipstick will only do”

“What do you have in mind?”

“I am about to sign an agreement with a famous lingerie brand. I will be assigned with the photos and

a killer lady will direct the whole opening show. I can recommend you as the main star”

“I think it’s impossible. There are a lot of seasoned actresses”

“We recommended it. But they have their own marketing strategy and they do not want to use seasoned

actresses as they have endorsed many products already and it will just overlap with their product, especially in the lingerie business. They want a new face that can leave a scar to everyone”

“I will need to discuss this with Michelle”

“I talked to her already and will be meeting her at “Blue Cosmo” Bar”

“I was not informed”

“Well, she told me to bring you along and try to convince you and she is bringing the contract”

“How long, will this take?”

“One month project”

“Wow, that long. The budget must be a huge deal and the commercial preparations”

“Am I enticing you’re curiosity”

“Will think it over with a cold margarita”

Off we go to the bar, it was a chill-out bar and not the noisy type. The song is mostly in sexy ballads and

I’ve been a frequent visitor since Michelle introduced me to that place.

For a start, I met Michelle prior to 3 months of our Graduation Ceremony. I was just walking in the park

and try to breathe some air. I walk around and around, for almost 2 hours already. I am not even sure why I keep on doing it and keep on staring at the ground, I did not notice that there was a variety and the organizer called me in to participate.

It was too late for me to avoid it; I just participated in and follow their instructions. There was a bit an

acting part and my role is a mistress and the variety was a bit of comedy. To my surprise, I made everyone laugh.  I

look at the crowd and I just noticed that I was not with Cai.

It was just me.

I started to think, have I tried to do things on my own? For so long, I could not leave without him and he

has to be there every time I need him and yes, most of the time. He is always late but he never missed a beat and every time I look back, he is always there.

As I was about to exit, a lady just pops from my behind and introduced herself as Michelle Ling, an agent

to Star Company. At first, I was hesitant yet she showed me her portfolio, her Weibo account with colleagues and the artist she worked with. She invited me to their agency to try acting out just for 3 days and get into the vibe if I really like it.

I told my parents that I’ll go to some seminar and Cai is not going. On the other hand, I did not tell Cai

the exact place and I just told him that I’ll be joining this acting seminar just to loosen up. It was my first lie to him.

To my surprise, I got results with full marks and I can really be an actress if I pursue it.

That was the first time I accomplish something without anyone looking out for me, the first time that I got so

worried without telling anyone and the first time to be brave.

Is this the feeling of being single or the feeling of an independent woman.

Why do I now feel restricted if I’ll continue this relationship with Cai and will he accept the path I chose?

We have so many dreams and plans. It just dawns on me that I leave Cai’s dream and it was not for me.

By then, Michelle started to have regular communications with me. Trying, begging and pleading for me to

sign an exclusive contract with Star Company. She said that a director was so happy with the way I act and wanted me on board. I never thought that Michelle would make her move very fast.

I told her though that I have a boyfriend and our families are expecting us to get married once he got settled. Michelle responded, “Well, it’s okay and you can also start your own. Don’t tell me you are leaving his

dream and not yours. I think you are a late bloomer and just discovered your potential. Be an independent woman and do not relay of his success, okay? In my opinion, he is not a sugar daddy and we are now in the 21st century. The only obstacle I am seeing here is that. How will he handle his feelings if you will be an actress? I got to be

upfront with you, any scandal. As long as it is within the normal scandal is considered a marketing strategy and most artist, ride its wave cause for big exposure. But of course, I want you to make your own waves but not because of a scandal.”

That her statement alone, made me worry so much. For US and for Cai.

How long can he keep up with the façade that he is okay with my career path? I could not even tell him the

truth knowing we plan and build our career path together. Knowing his personality or perhaps, I am overthinking. I have not even signed any contract yet and I am having this mindset now.

But what if, it will break us. The break is much worse as there is no going back.

And in the end, I may have said the wrong words or it was not just acceptable.

We ended broken.

As Direct Cedric drove his Car in the highway, I can’t help to reminisce my past and It’s almost 5 years

already. I am pretty sure, everyone has moved on.

“Darling what were you thinking? We’ve just arrived”

We walked in the bar and there is Michelle, easy to find as she is bubbly and a loud talker.

“If you were to become a speaker, you do not need a megaphone”

“Well, hello ugly”

“So you two were close?” I asked while Michelle is giggling

“Unfortunately, yes” Direct Cedric responded while trying to call the waiter

Michelle started to peek at me and ask “Are we to sign the contract now?”

I responded, hesitantly “To be honest, the role that I am portraying is too sexy and I am not sure that I wanted that path”

Michelle sighed and responded, “Well, I may have to bribe you”

“Is there something wrong with being sexy as hell?” Direct Cedric gave me this disapproving look.

“Well, I do not want to achieve stuff using my body”

Direct Cedric was a bit shock, “what are you implying? I am selling your body”

Michelle sighed and give me a pat in the back, “In this field, all artist are doing all the stunts they can

pull off either legal or illegal. But, everything is up to your head and how it will affect you. Bottom line, you are the owner of your mind. Still, I am not forcing you with anything but just to let you know. I got you a role in this

movie “Mermaid Blue”. And guess what, you got the lead role cause I told the Director that you’ll be singing with Allure Lingerie. To my surprise, he was aware of this project and really wanted to direct the show”

I heard Direct Cedric’s laughter and I just bit my lip and signed the contract.

We started to talk casually and more relaxed. While going to the comfort room, I heard it loud and clear “Cai I’ve

heard you just got back in China”

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