chapter 3

Christmas is only a two weeks away, everyone was in their festive mood, planning their holidays. It was the time of joy. Shops selling their Christmas goodies . You can't find a street without people going on about the holiday craze.

  Yet here I am walking to my work with a dark cloud over my head thinking of how the cruel the world was and how deceitful time is.

  We had plan our Christmas....

Andy and I we had it all plan out and I  was really looking forward to it. Even before summer holiday had began I had start counting down the days for the  Christmas holiday. I remember how Andy would tease me about it but I was excited that we finally would be able to go there. It was where my parents had their honeymoon so it was special for me as I would be walking down on one of their special memories.

   As it was a famous place Andy had it reserved it beforehand.

   But I had totally forgot about that this past month Only to be reminded when  I recieve a reminder this morning about the reservation.

    It was meaningless now that Andy was gone. I had really wanted to share that moment with Andy.

....

.....

........

......

.....

Today I went home early as Martha said that she  would be coming over. It's been 5 months since I last saw her after Andy's funeral other than the occasional phone call we could not meet up knowing we couldn't  put up an " I  am okay " facade to each other for he had been so dear to us as a boyfriend and a son. But we needed to console each other and support each other. So....

.....

.....

....

.......

I was preparing dinner when the doorbell rang. When I open the door, I saw Martha and all my feeling came pouring out as I could see Andy's feature on his mother. We cried and console each other and talk about Andy and the time we had spent together. It was nice to talk and pour my feelings out. That night I could feel the warmth of a mother as I fell asleep.

.......................

" Are you that excited for it?"

Andy asked me with a look of disbelieve when I started the countdown for Christmas.

" You know that summer  holidays have not began yet right"

"Who cares cause we are going there for Christmas...." I replied doing a wierd happy dance.

" Whatever so what do you want for breakfast ?" He said going over to the kitchen.........

....... We were laughing and talking when everything started to become dark .......

  Everything was lost , it became pitch dark and all the of laughter was lost..... As I scream and run trying to get it back I began to lost my voice....

I woke up with a startle and with cold sweat all over...

It was yet another nightmare ....

Suddenly the smell of pancakes and coffee filled the room I walk out of the room with a shimmer of hope, a hope which I could not understand  why it was there yet it still grow stronger as I neared the kitchen.

I have already known the consequence yet when I saw the back of Martha I couldn't help but felt a bit disappointed. I bit down the disappointment as I greet her " Good morning , Martha "

" Good morning darling,  I prepared breakfast"

With a guilty smile of not waking up early and helping her I sat down.

" Sorry I didn't help"

" No trouble you look so tired so I let you rest, here have more of this, I made lots, so  you  should be eat more you know that you have lost a lots of weight, you should be strong "

   When she held my hand I felt safe and comforted...

I choke out a thank you.....

Martha was not only Andy's mom but she was also a mother figure to me she help me with my problem and she would tell me stories of my mother  when they were young as they had been childhood besties  and also tell me of how similar I was to my mom. Her being here alone had been a great  help to me .

As we were having the breakfast we are silently consoling each other and giving each other strength to move on.

While cleaning up she suddenly said

" So are you going there for Christmas."

I was shocked of at how she remembered . " I don't know ... " I said as I have  honestly been having mixed feeling about it.

        " You know you should go right, I know it would not be like you had planned but it would help you get a closure and I think he would want you to"

       " It's hard it would be so different"

   " That's why you should, and  you needed  this who knows it might turn out to be good, you don't want to regret it do you"She said with a smile.

After Martha left, I was alone in the room, the room Andy and I have shared for 4 years. His presence still lingers along with his things.

I have known that I should do this but it was hard. But after hearing Martha I wanted to know what might happen and maybe it could be the best. It might help me get a closure.                   " Closure"    it is such a scary word but  I know I needed it .

        As I cried knowing that I needed to move on and that he was no longer here to wipe my tears , to comfort me, to make me smile. I became all more hysterical as I remembered that day, that moment when I recieved the news.

      It was hard as I  convince myself  and had started my preparation for the trip. The long and painful trip where I would laid him to rest.

...........

.......

......

....

( A few days later)

It was three days before christmas  I am at my seat. Martha had came to see me off. I took a few days off from the shop. I remember how Lena had readily agree to it and wished me luck for the trip. I was glad for their support. From here I know I was alone yet their support gave me a lot of strength.

     As the flight took off I wondered what might happen......

     Sitting there Lost in my thought I could feel a man sitting down beside me. I could smell his scent which seemed so familiar yet new.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***