I’m staring at my phone, not sure who’s text I am waiting for. But after all, I think I need to prepare something for Caroline when she gets back from her business.
ping ping
I immediately took my phone. My phone blinking and I saw Caroline’s name popped up. Oh, speaking of the devil, here she comes!
Caroline: Hey, I’m back! Wanna meet up later?
I have to prepare stuffs so I need to buy more time, like the day after tomorrow? Me: Let’s meet this Sunday
I have to call Tiere about it, she’d probably help me out. I dialed her phone number and put it on my ear. When she picked up the phone, I start mumbling.
“errrr” my tongue turned stiff, I hardly speak. My brain spinning around.
“Yes Ryan? What happen?” she asked.
“Ohh..hmm” what is happening to me? My heart pounding faster again.
“What happen? You weirdo” she sniggered.
“Tiere, Caroline… is looking for me… She is in town. I..”
“You want to confess?” she cut me off.
“Yes.. I am…” I pounded my forehead.
“So..when?”
“Sunday? Umm. Yes.. I told her Sunday” I replied.
“On my way Ryan. We need to talk face to face. Dress up! We are going out\~”
“Oh.. okay.. then”
“See you”
I don’t know why I become so nervous when I talk to Tiere. YOU STUPID!!
“Urghhhhh” I moaned, ruffling my hair. I sat on the bed, I became stress. “Ryan what are you thinking?”. I still have feelings towards Caroline so I just need to confess and wait for her answer?
DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG
Tiere always pushes my bell impatiently, but I am getting used to it. I clicked the door open. Tiere smiles at me, somehow she acted differently. Cause she usually greets me with a big hug or a kiss on the cheek, and I feel different today.
“Tiere? What..”
“Let’s go!” she’s back to her energetic self. “Oh..okayy..” I stuttered.
“You.. are ready right?” she asked. “Hm.. yeahh” I step forward and begin to lock the door.
***
I drive for 30 minutes to the place Tiere recommends.
“Here!” Tiere seems very excited, she pulled my hand excitedly.
“Hello, good afternoon. Welcome to Giany’s Florist” the beautiful florist greeted us with smile, she is wearing a white shirt and a pink apron. The top row of teeth was showing, and there’s a faint curve to her lips. Her smile stays at its point, like she was forced to do so.
“So…” she said awkwardly, still smiling. “Anything for your girlfriend?” her eyes looking at Tiere.
“Oh..” Tiere shook her head with her both hands shaking, “He isn’t my boyfriend” she said, then staring at me, “Umm.. right...right… she isn’t my girlfriend either” I shook my head.
The florist froze, but still smiling. “Ohh…” she looks pretty confused, but remain smiling.
Tiere cleared her throat and say, “Anything for a confession? Like a package or something like that?” Tiere starts talking, normally.
“Oh… We have…” the woman lifted her finger and bend her body to find something under the table.
“Here” she took out a folder with pictures and price inside.
“So..this is..hmmm” Tiere mumbles as she flip the page by page herself, with me standing beside her without saying anything, just looking.
“How about this one?” she stopped in a page with a bouquet of 3 roses and baby -breaths, with chocolate box and also a pink greeting card.
“It’s pretty” I said, “I mean, it’s red.. and the wrapping paper is white, and I love the chocolate box. It’s really really cute” what did I just say? Am I crazy?
Tiere nodded her head then lifts her head looking at the florist. “This one” she pointed as she talked. The florist gave us smile again as we turned our heads, “Okay… please fill the form here” she gave us a white form to fill.
“Fill the date and the time” Tiere speaks as she turned her body leaning on the table. I picked the pen and start writing. When I finished, I push the paper towards the florist and pay.
“So…” she clapped her hands once, “Anything else you want to buy?” she smirked. “I guesss..No?” I lifted an eyebrow. “Then should we head home?” she asked. “Ummm” I mumbled, “I think we should have lunch before we head back?”
“Mmmm….Okay..” she starts walking towards the entrance, and I catch her up. “So, Tiere…” I was wondering what is she going to say during the phone call. “Yes?”
“Do you have anything to say?”
“Oh… I think..” she paused, now facing me, in front of the florist entrance.
“This is not the right time, Ryan” she pulls a long face and I was kinda startled cause it seems very depressing, but I can’t force her to talk. I sighed.
“Hey, what’s that sigh for?” she quirked an eyebrow, suspiciously looking at me. “Oh.. it’s nothing” I said.
“Really? You seems pissed off all of sudden”
I left her behind, I clicked my car key.
“Ryan” she held my wrist to stop me, I paused “Is that are you hiding something?” her eyes caught my gaze, like a thorn, sharp and thick. I can’t move my eyes or my body. “It-ts..it’s n-n-nothing really” I am such an embarrassing awkward stuttering mess. Tiere let my hand go, but she hasn’t move from her place, looks like she’s keeping something from me too.
“Tiere” I called her.
“Ohh…ye..yess”
We both threw ourselves inside the car and at the same time I ask her “Tiere..” I called her again. “Yes?” her voice is low, but she sounds a little pissed. She used to be cheerful and energetic but all of sudden she became so gloomy and quiet.
“Where d-do you want to go?” I’m scared of her gloomy looking too, that’s the reason I undo my intentions.
“A…..burger restaurant maybe?” she gazes through the window, watching the pedestrians walking.
“Okay… So.. Burger King?” I asked, to make sure.
“Yes.. exactly” she replied, clicking her fingers.
The wheels start spinning against the gravels. At some time I turned my head checking her, she’s quiet, doesn’t say a word, her eyes gazing straight to the window. She looks like in a deep thought and doesn’t care about how it would become outside the car even though she’s been watching since the start.
As our car lurched stop, Tiere starts talking.
“Ryan.. we need to talk” she took a glimpse of me but then looked down. My heart beating fast, I start assuming many negative things.
“Ryan..You know Agnes?” our eyes met. “Agnes?” I repeated.
Agnes was our classmates during Grade School. I don’t know Tiere still contacts her, it’s been so long since our class were separated in Science and Social.
“Agnes offered me a design company. At first I think it wasn’t a good idea to work in a company. But since..” she sighs
“Since I found it hard to find a freelance job myself. I guess I have to work in a company first”
“Well. that’s a good idea” what with the long face then?
“But..” she gave me another sigh, is this not a good news?
“It means I have to move to Jakarta..” she said in deflated tone.
Jakarta? But why? “Agnes isn’t in the town?”
She shook her head, “The company based in Jakarta. Means I have to move there”
“So….when do you plan to move?”
“Ummm” she mumbles, eyes looking down, she’s playing with her own fingers.
“I guess….. In 2 or 3 days?” she muttered under her breath. I can’t describe how she feels right now, she is either happy or sad at the same time. Her eyebrows frowned, her lips lifted upward but not in usual way, her smile is different. “That’s really…quick..” I said.
“I’m sorry, Ryan.. I supposed to reply your DM..” she threw her gaze away.
DM? That means she knew it when I texted her few years ago? My blood runs through my veins. I’m utterly speechless. My heart almost exploded, I was so curious and disappointed at the same time when I heard she actually noticed my DMs.
“I know… I should have replied yours, I mean..” she flared her nostrils.
“How? I saw you offline for years”
She bit her lower lip “Yes… you don’t remember how you taught me to hide the online -offline status?” Tiere narrowed her eyes, I guess she can hear the wheels turning in my head from my raspy mumbles.
“Oh… I remembered…” that time, during High School, I taught her how to hide social medias’ online status. Yes, right. I did teach her, and I regret that I ever teach her.
“Yes..” she sighs. “It was my mistake.. I thought Calvin wouldn’t like it if we keep… in touch…” she took a deep breath, it must be so suffocating. “You know.. guys sometimes are.. jealous.. at many things” she continued with a shrug. I nod my head, “Yes…” seems like Caroline is the same towards Tiere too.
In fact, I and Tiere actually has a lot of similarities. We have the same taste in travels, opinion about relationships, and else. Maybe because we hang out a lot? Or because we are friends since we were kids?
“So…have you bought your flight ticket?” I quickly changed the topic since it was too awkward. She shook her head “I was planning to spend more time with you for these 2 or 3 days” she smiles. “B-b-but..” she stuttered, took a deep breath and exhales as her nostrils flared. “I guess today and tomorrow before you confess..”
“Yess…” I unbuckled my seatbelt and say “Let’s have a burger!” and poke her cheek. She smiles timidly, “Okay”
When I think of Tiere leaving this town, my heart starts pounding again, it’s not kind a flutters or something feels good inside the heart, but I feel like it was a sharp knife stabbing my heart and it bleeds. I don’t want her to move too far from me. I want her to stay here with me. Ryan.. what are you thinking? SO SELFISH!
Kling!
The bell jingles as I pushed the door and the waiters greet us with “Good Afternoon!”. We walk towards the counter to order 2 burgers and 2 cokes. “Anything else?” I whispered. She shook her head and smile “No, that’s enough”
“How much?” I asked the cashier and about to pay, but then Tiere ceased my arm. “Here” she winked at me, “Let me pay just for today. It’s our friendship day” she whispered. What? What friendship day, what is she talking about?
She grabbed my wrist and pulled me to seated. “What did you mean just now?” I asked again, cause I have no idea what is she talking about.
“Hoi!” she knocked my head once and say “I am leaving for the next 2 days, you dare talking to me like that? Just get use to it please, for my own sake!”
I nod my head “Alright, alright” with a shrug.
“So… any plan later?” I asked again.
“Ummm.. plan?” she sips her coke, eyes looking at me. “You mean when I arrive there?” she continued. “Yes..” somehow, it became awkward.
“Agnes will help me find an apartment, maybe I’ll move several things from mine here” she explained, taking another bite of the burger. She looked at me intensely, her eyes searching mine, trying to understand what am I thinking.
“Oh..” I replied shortly, throwing my gaze away.
“What’s with that long face?” she narrowed her eyes, looking at me leery. “HA!” she exclaimed. I was kinda startled, “What do you mean? I really ...don’t”
“So sorry… I have to leave you my dear” she teased. “But it’s okay” she poked my lips. “You have Caroline later” I was hoping she could stay but all I can do is nothing and my brain stops working as she stared at me with that hurtful looks. I sniffed a smile. I’m in agony, all I want right now is you stay here with me, I feel better when Tiere is around. I smile coyly at her.
“Yes.. with Caroline” she tucks her hair behind her ear.
I clicked my tongue and moaned “Stop teasing me!”
“But why? You are about to confess right? You are like… OH FINALLY.. AFTER 10 OR MORE YEARS”
I’m always delighted by Tiere's presence all this time. I feel kinda stumbled, something huge petrified, especially when she is around, but after all I am actually comfortable with her around me. I feel blessed and happy. I would describe my heartache as a glove of ice, encasing my heart as cage keeps a tropical bird. It is a cruelty of life that a heart can keep on beating even after it has been broken in two. It can feel as though it is being gripped in an ice-cold vice and ache as if it will implode in my chest, but still the boom -boom continues.
My heart wants Tiere to stay here with me so bad, but I am just a nobody to her. We are just friends after all.
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Comments
hi whats up
ughhh why is he such an idiot???
2020-07-07
5