Blushed, butterflies, heart throbbing. That’s how I feel when I kiss Tiere, even when I imagine it. I can’t sleep, I miss her. That’s all I want to say.
I try to stop playing games for a while, just ...don’t have the mood. I tilted my head, looking at my phone on the bedside table. What am I thinking? Am I waiting for Tiere or Caroline? Deep inside, I feel like I want to meet Tiere so bad. I stretched my arm to reach my phone, 23.00 on my lockscreen.
Should I go and meet her?
No, it’s too late.
She might have gone to bed,
She told me she is tired drawing all day.
Should I text her?
No
Should I call her?
No
She is tired, Ryan. Stop bothering her.
I put my phone away, at the same time it pinged. I took my phone immediately, heart beating faster, curious of who sends me text.
My heart melts when I saw Tiere’s name on the screen.
Tiere: Hey
Me: Hey
ping
Tiere: Whoaa. Lucky guess, you haven’t sleep
Me: Yea.. I was about to call you
Wait, Ryan. What have you done?
Tiere: Oh I see. Anything important?
Me: Yes?
Tiere: No, I mean. You just told me, you are about to call me right?
Me: Oh, no. It’s okay. I was about to …
Tiere: Woaw, you practiced a lot, do you?
ping
Just before I got to talk more about how much I miss her, but since it was too awkward. I delete my text.
Me: Oh, no. It’s okay. I was
Me: Oh, n
I type swiftly,
Me: Ummm, practice?
Tiere: Practice a lot before you date Carol, dummy!
I do think about you, Tiere.
Me: Oh hey, I just remember
Tiere: Yes?
Me: I mean I always curious, do you still practice Thai Boxing**?**
Tiere: HAHAHAHAHAHA Yes
Tiere: Twice in a week. 7- 9 in the evening
Me: Oh..
Tiere: Why do you ask? Curious? Yeaa, I am a pro. So there’s no bruises anymore. But I skip the class 1.5 months cause that time I still…you know….
Tiere: I start practicing like about 2 weeks ago
Me: Oh I see…
Tiere: Then, do you need me to come over? To sing you a lullaby my dear?
Tiere: Oh, it’s late Tiere. Don’t
Tiere: Haha, okay. I mean, if you need me, then I’ll be there, Ryan
Me: Thanks, Tiere
She is just really kind, care, and truthful. Sometimes I feel bad when Caroline talks about her, in the negative way. Cause I know Tiere very well, even sometimes I still can’t believe she worked in a pub, but well she gave me a “no choice” reason which is understandable.
Tiere: Goodnight, Ryan
Me: Bye.. Goodnight Tiere
I smile whenever she sends me text. It’s funny cause.. I don’t know.. it’s hard to explain myself. I mean, I am a grown up man with no experience about woman. Please stop thinking about Tiere. But still, I’m either sad or confuse, cause Caroline didn’t even text me, like maybe telling me how she’s doing. I texted her in the afternoon, ask her how’s she doing? Can we meet this Sunday? Before she leave? But no reply. She didn’t even read my message. Am I important to her? Like how Tiere cares a lot about me?
***
Early in the morning, I can see another sunrise from the balcony.
My phone pinged, found Caroline text:
Caroline: Hey, Ryan. I am so sorry. I am so busy so maybe next 2 weeks like I promised? I mean I will tell you the exact date
Me: Oh ..okay Carol. Safe trip!
I gaze back to the morning balcony, stretching my body, neck, arms, and legs. I skipped gym for almost 2 weeks. I should go to gym today since I woke up early. I grab my gym bag with new towel and a water bottle inside. The gym is inside the building, so there’s no reason for me to be lazy.
As I finished my activity, I went back to the changing room. Open the locker and then at the same time my phone pinged again, found Tiere’s text. I’m so happy whenever I see her name on my phone screen.
Tiere: Hoi! Wanna catch some Japanese Udon**?**
Me: Sure!
Tiere: 2:15 okay?
Me: Okay Tiere
Me: See you at 2:15”
Tiere: See you!!
I clicked my phone lock and smile again, then my phone pinged again. My heart beats even faster when I see Caroline’s name popped up on my phone screen.
Caroline: Ryan
Me: Yes?
Caroline: Wanna meet for a while before I take the flight?
Should I confess now? But no, I need some preparations to make it more special.
Me: Oh, sure
Caroline: See you at 12, at Bermuda
Me: See you!
***
I arrive on time. I lift my hand to check the time. It’s 11.50. It wouldn’t take too much time since Caroline has to catch the flight in the afternoon. I pushed the door as it jingles, then some waiters greet me “Good Afternoon”, at the same time
Caroline waves her hand at me.
She is wearing suit and tight pencil skirt, so mature.
“So, what time will you go?” I asked.
“Umm.... about 2 something. Gotta be so soooo busy” she said, rolling her eyes.
I took the menu, “Oh, so have you ordered?”
“Not yet” she raised her hand up to call the waiter. A waiter walks towards us, stiff and nervous, seems like new. He is wearing a long –sleeve oversized white shirt with a black apron, and a name tag “Budi”.
“Good afternoon sir and ma’am. Welcome to Bermuda Café” he said as he
pulled out a note from his light green apron.
“Fried Rice and Cold Water” I ordered.
“Spaghetti Bolognaise and Ice Tea” Caroline ordered.
“Okay…” he said as he wrote down inside his empty note.
“Fried Rice, Spaghetti Bolognaise, and Cold Water 2”
Caroline quirked her eyebrow, “Cold Water 1” she said.
“Okay. Fried Rice, Spaghetti Bolognaise, and Cold Water 1” then he clicked his pen.
Caroline flared her nostrils, “Hey” before he got to leave.
The waiter turned his head, “Yes?”
“Do you have ears?” Caroline asked, at the same time I froze, confused and shocked. The waiter named Budi went pale, then a senior waitress came over and bend her body “Sorry, ma’am” she said. The waitress name “Jessica” take over the notes and gives Caroline a friendly smile “Sorry. Can you repeat your order, ma’am?”
“Fried Rice, Spaghetti Bolognaise, Cold Water, and Ice Tea. Please note that. Did you guys even train him?” she turns out so bossy, I sealed my mouth shut, I am so speechless.
There’s a difference between Caroline and Tiere. Caroline can be so so sarcastic and bossy sometimes, she doesn’t care about how people feel with her pungent words against people. Tiere is a cheerful lady, shameless and calm. She never mad at anyone like how Caroline did.
Is this what they call as “ilfeel”? Indonesian’s teenagers, back to my school time tends to use that words. “ilfeel” is abbreviation from “ilang feeling” or when we have no more feeling toward something. For example when we like a person, but when the person turns out to be really dirty, we feel nothing anymore or “ilfeel”.
But my feeling towards Caroline isn’t like that, I mean… sometimes it’s fading away slowly, but then turns back like the first time. Is this also a dilemma?
The waitress called “Jessica” then bend her body and say “Thank you” then she walked towards the kitchen, calling the waiter name “Budi” to the kitchen. I feel bad for that dude. Caroline did nothing wrong, but I can’t imagine how that dude called Budi felt.
We talked about many things until we finished our lunch.
I stared at my watch at some time when we were talking, it’s 2. Then, I stopped her “Carol, sorry. I think I have to leave. Tiere is…”
She grabbed my hand, looking at me with puppy eyes. “Do you want to leave me? Now? I’m going out of town until the next 10 days”.
I bit my lower lip and nod, maybe Tiere will understand if I’m 15 minutes late. She is not gonna angry, right? Tiere is a very understanding person.
Then, another fifteen passed away. I cut her off and say “Carol, I am sorry.. I mean.. I’ve made .....”
Caroline frowned, sad and pouted, “Please, Ryan?” begging.
Time by time passes away, I don’t even realize it’s evening already. Then Caroline stop talking, she held her phone, put it on her ear. “Halo?”
I stared at my watch, with eyes popped up wide. Jesus Christ! It’s 5 o’clock. Tiere must be really angry. Caroline clicked her phone and give me a kiss on the cheek. “Ryan… gotta go.. seeyou” she said, and left.
I stood up abruptly, paid the bill and run to the place where I parked my car. Cold sweat rushing down from my head, it soaked the clothes on my back like a map of some foreign land, my heart pumping faster making an irregular heartbeat. I grabbed my phone and call Tiere but I can’t reach her. Her phone’s off. Did her battery drain or something? I found 4 unread messages. She texted me at around 2 something:
Tiere: I’m here! at the usual table
Tiere: ….hey..
Tiere: where are you?
Tiere: ….hello?
It took around 10 minutes to arrive at Lily’s, place where we had our first reunion. I rushed through the entrance, my head turns left and right to look for her. But she has left, I don’t see her anywhere.
“Sir? Do you….”
I leave before the waitress finished her words, it’s kinda rude but Tiere is all I care about right now. Is she angry? I walked towards my car, looking down and upset. She must be angry.
I walk anxiously through the hallway and stopped in front of the door with numbers 606. I looked up, rest my head on the door. All of sudden, Tiere opened the door and I almost fell. It’s going to be so embarrassing if I fell off..
“Ryan?” she looks startled.
My eyes widened, “Tiere?”
“Tiere!” I hug her tight, which confused her.
“What happen, Ryan?” she asked.
“Uh….” I grabbed her shoulders and bend my body a bit to catch her eyes, “I’m sorry” I frowned. “I mean, I did want to see you on time. But Caroline won’t allow me to go”.
Tiere smiles and I am so relieved at the same time, “It’s okay” she said, sincerely.
“Tiere.. are you.. sure…. you didn’t..”
“It’s fine, Ryan” she cut me off. “I am really okay” she gave me another smile.
“So, can I come over, Tiere?”
“Ryan, I think this is not the right time..” she looked down, throwing her face away.
“But…”
“I’m sorry” she cut me off, sniffing another smile and lifted her head up “Just, need….. a little me time” she continued.
“Oh, okay.. so..” I spoke awkwardly, “Gotta go, then”
"Bye Ryan" she waves her hand, "Bye".
When I turned my body back looking at her, she has gone. Tiere never did that to me, she looks sad all of sudden which makes my heart shattering. This is weird when she said no. I feel a little bit disappointed, or.. maybe I feel like thousand knives stab me in the heart. Why she’s acting like this? Why she looks sad? There’s a lot of questions inside my head when it comes to Tiere.... I think I am going crazy about her...
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Comments
itz just me
I think I'll kill this scum bag 🙂
2023-08-15
0