Chapter 9 - Her Secret

Nahh, Caroline was just messing with me.

“Don’t make me curious like this, Carol” I lifted my eyebrow as I talk, smile cause I know she was trying to joke. But the situation became weird and weird, like she’s about to tell some horror stories. Caroline took a deep breath, her lips crooked in evil grins. Her expressions changed, she ain’t joking right now.

“Ryan..” she squeezed my hand “I ever met her in a pub..” she continues. My forehead crinkled, I was deep in shit curiosities, waiting for her to continue her words. “She was working as a sexy waitress with bunny outfits that time” she added. Soon I caught her gaze back, she was maybe assuming things? Tiere won’t do anything stupid like that for money “Maybe she was just a waitress?” I keep my urge to stand for Tiere, she’s nothing like that. Caroline rolled her eyes and moaned “Ryan, you are always so positive at everything?” I don’t like assuming things before knowing the truth.

Caroline clicked her tongue and say “Come on.. I saw it. You know? A waitress like that simply asked a tip for tits”

Slow but sure, that’s how Caroline sounds.

“I know.. a sexy waitress..hmm” I replied with a shrug, it doesn’t make any sense, Tiere got money from her parents before she moved out, there’s no reason for her to work like that. Is that the bunny waitress like what I saw in Movies? Like sexy dancers? I just knew it happens here, in Indonesia.

She looks just fine, but we can’t always trust people by their smile, or how they look cause you know.. Once I read from somewhere, *Don't Trust What You See. Even Salt Looks Like Sugar. **(by Claudia Garcia)*

“Ryan?”

She caught me daydreaming, Caroline’s hand waving in front of my face, “Ryan?”

I cleared my throat “Um.. yea…. So.. pardon me?”

Caroline smirked, “Seems like you love her that much, do you? You don’t even trust me” now she looks like going to cry. She covered her face with her hands.

“No..No..” I rose from my seat trying to calm her down. “Hey, Carol..” I grabbed her shoulders. “I trust you” Caroline puts her hands down immediately, lucky me cause she hasn’t start crying, I don’t want to catch any attention from the café, it’s going to be so embarrassing.

There’s no way for Caroline to tell a lie, my brain is playing negative scenes. Does Tiere lie to me? So, she worked as a bunny waitress in a night pub, accompanying drinking customers and accept high tips? My whole world sank, I am both sad and surprised at the same time. How could she lied to me about this?

“She put a very thick make up and think that nobody recognized her. You know Rudy?” I lifted my head, catching Caroline’s gaze. She folds her arms on the table.

Rudy, the troublesome teenager in the back of my classroom in the past. As I know he loves night clubs since high school, and he was dating Caroline during high school. Pretty amusing huh? But yeah, Rudy is very rich. Tiere used to hate him. That handsome dude is every girls’ crush, but very arrogant.

“Rudy met her, but she refused to talk to him. You know, a pub waitress with that outfit. They are like….. hey come on drink with me, pay me with high tips” she added with gestures. Yes, that was all I’ve been thinking about.

“But yeah..” she leaned her body on the chair.

“When I came to the pub with my friends. She didn’t see us, but we clearly saw her. That time, I was about to call her but I afraid it would be very insulting, so I just stay quiet. I saw her flirting an older man that time”

“You know… She saw Rudy that time, she was afraid of him, like hell. I heard she escaped to the toilet after seeing Rudy” she continues.

I want to hear about the dark secret no more. My heart needs more time to accept what my mind already knows.

“She didn’t tell you right?” Caroline made another question, I became confused. I lifted my head gazing back at her, nodding my head slowly.

***

I stopped by Tiere’s apartment, promise her a Mc Donald after I finish dating, but I didn’t buy anything. I stood in front of her apartment door, at the same time Tiere came out.

“Hey! Ryan!” she hugged me tight. “You came!”

In odd moments, I don’t need to knock the door, she will comes out like she has predicted I arrived on time. Funny.

I didn’t reply her, Caroline’s words echoing inside my head. I can’t believe she lied to me. My heart rate increased, feeling hot and frustrated.

“Ryan?” Tiere loosened her hug, look at me deeply in curious, she reads my face, I threw my gaze away trying to calm myself. “What happen? Did anything bad happen to you?” she held my cheek but I leaned away. Tiere frowned, “Ryan?”

I blew a harsh breath, “Tiere.. can we talk? Please get inside”

She stepped aside and clicks the door lock. Now she looks really sad like almost cry. I took a glimpse of her and sat on the bed, waiting for her to come after me, but she stayed in her place, froze, deep in sorrow.

“Tiere…” I pounded my forehead, “Are you kidding me?”

Tiere doesn’t say anything, but staring at me with eyes glinting tears.

“Worked at a night pub?” I raised my voice.

“How-how …” she stammered, knowing well that I was after something about her secret.

“You didn’t tell me about it at all” I cut her off.

“I…” she can’t move her jaw, she’s shock and about to cry, her voice turned wobbly.

“You lied to me all this time? Seriously?” I cut her off again, anger boiled in me. I clenched my fist, squeeze them on the mattress.

“I… was… working as… a waitress” she took a deep breath and continues, trying to hold her tears. “Cause wearing that costume make me earn…….. more money. We didn’t sell….. our body like what-what. We weren’t like what you think”

I rubbed my forehead, deep in depression.

“But you have money. Why do you work like that?” I grunt, “Or you lied to me about that too? Are you kidding me, Tiere?”

I threw myself on the mattress. When I lifted my head looking at her, Tiere is already in tears.

That’s when I feel miserable. My heart shattering. Once those tears broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. Tiere began to cry with the force of the hard raining falls from her eyes.

I stood up and pull her closer, “I’m sorry..” stroking her hair, “I’m sorry Tiere.. I was just shocked..” I tried to explain. My heart beating in harder rate, this time I feel both sad and awful. She hasn’t stop, I feel my chest soaked. She is crying hard like waterfalls, gasping for breaths. “I was… just working as a waitress….. really. I didn’t do anything weird.. we were just wearing those costume for a bigger tips. I was just young and dumb..” she gasped as she spoke. “I…. lied to you… sorry.. I was just trying to .. stay and…and… pay my college bill..” she tried to finish her words. I exhales a harsh breath and say “You can ask for my help, Tiere” I pushed her gently, bend my body a bit to catch her eyes. She threw her face away, looking shy to show her messy face.

“I don’t want to bother you.. ” she said.

“But.. we are best friends, Tiere”

She shrugged her shoulders, “It was just hard for me, Ryan” she brushed my hand away from her shoulders, don’t even look at me.

“Come here, Tiere” I pulled her closer. “I’m so sorry. I was just stupid..” I said, “Do you have another secret to tell?”

Tiere nods her head, “I have”

She gasped for breath before she spoke, like it was the darkest secret among all. “I..I was lying to you about my mom and dad’s money. They didn’t give me anything. I leave alone cause I want to show it to them I can live myself” like what I assumed, I was right after I heard the dark secret from Caroline.

She loosened her arms and continue speaking “I..I was just so stupid at everything Ryan… I used that douchebag’s money to buy me an apartment, I live in a small room earlier before I bought this apartment… I-I am not a gold digger, Ryan.. he was just sincerely helping me out.. and I didn’t ask for it.. he did it by himself… and-and … I was just.. stupid….”

“Calm down” I pat her back slowly. “What can I do to calm you down?”

“I .. don’t want to tell you cause.. if I did… you will judge me as a gold digger, like his parents”

“I know-I know.. I won’t judge you, Tiere” I stopped her, she was wrong, there is no way I could judge her. I know Tiere very well. “Now, let’s forget all of it. Just.. no secret between us okay?”.

She nodded, “I just need to lay on the bed and cover my head so you couldn’t see me crying”

I pushed her again “Why would I do that?”

She threw her face away, “Just ..don’t look at me like this.. it’s embarrassing”

“I am your boyfriend right? Partner in crime? Best friend? Brother?”

“Just don’t talk about it” she said with a shrug and pulled her body away but I caught her arm at the same time.

“If you want to lay, go on, but with me.. and don’t cover your head like a burrito” I hope she catches my joke.

She threw her face away, “Please let me go for a while. There are…snorts in my nose”

“Oh.. alright” I let her go, can’t hide a smile, she is really cute sometimes.

Tiere laid her head on my chest, while I am busy reading my thesis. “Getting better?” I asked as I looked down, I can only see her hair.

She nodded her head, “Maybe” playing her fingers on my chest, sometimes touch my nipples. It’s tickling actually. “Why do boys have nipples?” she asked.

“I don’t know how to answer you, Tiere. I am neither a doctor nor god”

She giggles and I’m so relieved, she’s getting better. “Just.. stop playing with my nipples” I insisted. “Oh ya..Do you need me here, Tiere?”

“You want to stay here?” she asked, innocently.

“Yes.. I want to..”

“Ryan..” she sits up. “How could you do this to me? How about Caroline?” she looks worry all of sudden.

I flared my nostrils, “Just… Don’t feel like talking about her right now.. I decided to stay here with you..”

She nods her head, “Oh..okay..” and leaned her head on my chest “What are we going to eat? I am starving”

I lifted my hand to check the time, “It’s 7 actually”

“Pizza. With cheese and beef”

“Okay.. gonna order it right now. Or do you want to go out?”

She shook her head, “I prefer staying here”

“Ryan, do you like me?”

I put my phone aside, tilted my head looking at Tiere. She twirled her hair and caught my glimpse. “I…” I lost my words.

“Don’t answer me. I mean… have you ordered?” she tilted her head looking at me, we are looking at each other.

She cut me off at the moment I want to answer her emotional question. I haven’t had the chance to think, what is my real feeling to Tiere? Are we just friends like we used to be? Or she’s become more than a friend to me? Of course I like her. What I know for sure is that everyday brings a chance for me to stay closer to Caroline, step out to reach her more -live for a commitment and filled with love I always wanted to have.

Silence expanded for few seconds, we were staring at each other, in deep thoughts. I don’t know what is she thinking about, but I’m curious.

“Ryan.. just order..” she said, throwing her gaze away.

“Umm.. okay” it’s pretty awkward between me and Tiere nowadays, she’s like, keeping something as secrets from me. I don’t know what is she thinking about. Does she has anything to tell? Or I was just assuming things. I don’t know. I care too much about her, she has become precious to me.

"Hey, Tiere" she turned her head looking at me, "Promise me something, will ya?"

She was waiting for me to finish my word, and I could see from her eyes she really does want to hear me out, though it's hard or easy she'll be very ready, "We will share our secrets and problems together, no matter how hard or how pathetic each of us is" did... I get the right words?

Tiere smiles, that soft, faint and sincere smiles she gave literally brought me peace. Tiere nods her head as an agree, "I will, I promise, Ryan"

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