Chapter 8 - Deep Inside My Heart

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“Yes.. coming” sounds like she just woke up. As she clicked the door I opened my arms widely “TADA!” to surprise her.

“HEY RYAN!” she exclaimed, hugs me really tight “I miss you!”.

“I have a surprise” I said.

“What?” she lifted her head looking at me, her cheeks blushed deeply. I lifted my bag “Nah! Gonna stay the night at Tiere’s apartment!”

She sniggered “Cih, you sure? It’s far different from your PENTHOUSE”.

Nowadays, I feel like I treat her more likely to be my real girlfriend than only a friend and I kinda love that feelings whenever I show up in front of her, she will hug me like I am her real lover. We get along together very well. Speaking of her presence in my life, I’m honestly grateful. My life was a monochrome before she shows up, lightens up my day with her laughter and jokes. Tiere just wants to be loved and move on from her ex, but it’s getting weird and weird for me. Sometimes I feel bad cause I start having some dilemmas.

The night came so fast. Tiere’s calming presence makes me slowly close my eyes, my body gradually switching off. Tiere tossed her body to the other side of the bed facing me, “Ryan?” she lifted her tiny hands, fingers tickling my face. I opened my eyes, staring at her and smile.

“You know… I have slowly moving on..”

“Good news”

“How about Caroline?” she asked.

“Hm?”

“Well.. if you both get along together. Maybe we should end this?”

Somehow, my heart hurts when I heard that, felt it as if my blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. Is that mean we are going to end our relationship? I tried to mask my disappointment.

“Just.. wait until the right moment, Tiere” I don’t want to end this relationship so soon.

Sometimes I want her to stay forever with me. Am I too selfish? Tiere is my best friend, we get along since grade school and she’s like sister to me but I feel different all of sudden. I can’t hold this feelings. I’m kind of addicted to her. Sometimes I wish I could kiss her and hug her tight, like my real lover.

She sniffed a smile and poke my nose using her finger, “Hah, I know it”.

“Ryan?” she rose from her laying position and sit beside me, gazing straight to my eyes in a very seductive way. My gaze locked on her face. She held my face and it makes me froze but still trying to calm down, my heart beats faster and faster and faster. I stared at Tiere, speechless. She looks totally different. And by different, I mean really, really hot and tempting all of sudden. She leaned her body forward and I can’t control myself. All I want right now is to kiss her.

“Tiere..”

She bent over me, and clinging tightly to me, awaits my kiss, looks like she wants me to do it first.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked. She looked away, blushed and nodded at the same time.

I hold her waist and pull her closer. Ryan, you are making the same mistake again. My lips pressed

against her. I rolled over to let her lays on the bed. I gently lean in and kiss her warm lips over and over again. We pull apart and take shaky, shallow breaths. Unable to contain ourselves anymore, I hold Tiere’s head in my hands and pulls her into a fiery and passionate kiss. No words are spoken, there are only love, passions and curiosity. I wish I could extend the night just so I could stay close to her, safe in her embrace. I leaned in, so my forehead rests against her. She closes her eyes. “I love you, Ryan” she says in barely more than a whisper.

“I love you too” I replied, my voice is low and husky.

I gently lean in and kiss her lips again. We pull apart and open our eyes. We stare at each other, deep into each other’s eyes. She kisses me and the world fell away. Slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be.

My hands venture over her curved body, exploring, unconsciously slipped under her t -shirt, touching her soft skin. I can’t control myself, it slid in through deeply. Tiere slapped my hands off and I was kinda startled. She didn’t say anything but we just continue our kiss.

***

Until the next day,

“Remember the time when you slid your hands inside my t -shirt? You used to insult me cause I don’t have big boobs” she teased, with an eyebrow crooked and naughty grins.

That’s so embarrassing, how can I thought about that thing. Shame on you, Ryan! Tiere rose from her bed and come closer to me, sitting on my laps and wrapping her arms around my neck. We

are too close, I think we are going to kiss again. When I look at her lips, I realize how addicted I am to kiss her. She leaned her head forward, followed by my heart beating fast inside my chest. She is diving me insane.

“But you always turn on my room temperature” whispered in my ear and snorted a laugh like that was just a typical joke for her.

I’m screwed.

***

Today is Sunday, I have an appointment with Caroline at 3 in the afternoon. Tiere came over so we both could have brunch together outside, maybe Ramen.

“Enough playing babe?” she lays on my bed playing with her phone.

“Wait Tiere… I-I-I.. Almost done” I stuttered. My world is practically sunken to my computer screen as it filled out with the changing guns and soldier yelling to shoot, so focus with the game until I didn’t realize when she wrapped her arms around my neck. I can feel her breath blowing my skin, I feel both goosebumps and my heart beating faster again, she bit my ear softly. “Babe?” she called, “A kiss on the cheek and I’ll take a bath now, cause honestly I haven’t take a bath since morning” she continues. I tried to hide behind the building, the game still going on but I won’t missed a kiss for Tiere. I turned my head quickly and kiss her on the cheek. She stood up, walking towards the bathroom, heard the bathroom door clicked.

Caroline: See you at 3

The message bubbling inside my head. I can’t wait to see her. I’ve waited patiently for her return. We haven’t met for a week, cause she was busy outside the town.

I stood outside the café, tiny droplets falling from the sky, chilling the hot weather. It hasn’t rain the whole month. I tried to catch the rain, it soaking my palm and I feel peace. I lifted my hand to check the time, it’s 2.50. I hope she could make it on time cause I miss her so much already. Caroline never late, except she has meetings

before she get here. I look up to the sky, the sun filtered through the clouds, signaling the end of the rain, fresh organic air filled my lungs and I

felt refreshed and exhilarated. I startled by a tickle on my neck followed by cheerful laughter from my back. I turned my body in shocked “Gottchaa!” Caroline appeared, trying to surprise me.

“Afraid of tickles?” she said with soft chuckles. She looks happier than usually. I gave her smile and we walk inside the café together,

“Seems like having a good mood. Anything good for me to hear?”

Caroline look at me and smile again, “Well, I did some great job for the company.. so well, kinda happy for that”.

Her smile is the shining star in my soul, how can I resist to look at her? She is always pretty and stunning.

“Congratulations” I shook her soft hands which turns my heart beats faster again.

“Thanks” she said, “Gonna treat you today!” she added.

“No, don’t. I am the one that supposed to treat you” I shook my head.

Caroline cleared her throat, sipping her hot

tea, “Anyway I never got to ask you” she quirked an eyebrow. “Where are your parents?”

Well, the first time I brought her to my apartment is when we finished the last semester of the university and I was in urgent that time to take my thesis file to the lecturer, right

after the movie afternoon with Caroline. She was kinda amazed of my penthouse, I still remember she said “Whoa. You live here alone?” and I replied her “Yeaa” quickly take my thesis and left with her, cause I was too nervous.

“Oh they are in Miami”

“Miami for?”

“My dad has a fabric business in Indonesia at first, then he brought the proposal to Los Angeles, but rejected don’t know why ended up in Miami. Yea…quiet long journey. That’s when my mom and sisters moved there”

“Why are you staying here?”

My parents are kinda over -protective. I prefer alone, plus I am a grown up man and able to take care of myself really well. My mom never quit talking about my games, she wants me to move to Miami and continue my dad’s fabric business. If my mom is here, there wouldn’t be a late night snack, or a night out, or even sleepovers.

“Yea.. because I prefer being alone.. Plus I have Tiere here” I said.

Caroline eyes popped up wide “Are you kidding me?”

“You are that rich but you seem very simple” she added.

I shrug my shoulders, “I like the way I am right now” giving a stiff smile.

“I see”

We are at the mall, Caroline told me she was looking for a new handbag. She lifted her head to check the shop with “Michael Kors” hanging above the entrance. Caroline walked in and I catch her up quickly. The store is luxury, colorful bags arranged tidily on the glassy shelves.

Caroline took a big black leather bag and lift it up “Is this beautiful?” she asked.

“I have been looking for this, it’s limited edition” she added.

I never bought her present. I was terrible at this kind of thing. I turned my head looking for the employee. A woman with black blazer and hair tied in ponytail come approaching me. I took the bag “I want to buy this”

“Really?” Caroline asked. I nod my head and say “As a gift for you” I give her the best smile I had.

Caroline smiles widely, with immense charm and grace, that often led her to many praise. But I don’t know how I feel deep inside here, perhaps I was waiting for her too long. Should I talk to her about it again? I don’t want to ruin my feelings against her.

We went to a Chinese café for a dinner. The waiter came to deliver our foods, I smile and say “Tiere used to like this porridge too”. We used to be here after class while craving for Chinese porridge.

“You keep talking about Tiere” she looks upset.

“Sorry.. “ I cleared my throat.

“I spend most of my time with her” I can’t believe I just said that to Caroline.

She scoffed, “You know Ryan…”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to tell you this. But do you know the dark secret of her? Before your reunion occurs?”

Dark secret of Tiere? I quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Caroline fold her arms on her chest.. “Well..  I think I still have to keep it secret since she is your girlfriend. You know… I don’t want to ruin your relationship”

What does she mean?

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