“Mom?” my voice wobbly. Mom held my hands, “You have to choose…” she looks sad. I clicked my tongue and moaned, “Mom, I’ve made my choice..”. Mom closed her eyes and inhales harshly “Ana, which one of them gave you the best moment in your life?”
“Mom.. I told you.. I don’t want to get married so soon” I turned my body about to leave her alone, she stopped me, holding my arm. “Alana” she said. “Mom” I turned my head, “I told you. I don’t want to get married so soon” hope that she got my point.
“But you have to remember, you are engaged!” I clenched my fist, anger boiling inside me.
“ENOUGH!” My mom looks startled, she looked down and say “I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you”
“Mom, just leave me alone. Let’s go home, I am busy” I took my car key from my countertop. “Ana” again, she stopped me. “Mom” I clicked my tongue and turned my body, “I said let’s go home” strictly talking to her.
She nods her head, she seems regret to anything she did to me.
“Anaa, listen” she tries harder to persuade me again. I clicked my tongue again, paused and looked back, giving her the deadliest glare.
“MOM!” I yelled. Then my mom looked down and nods her head.
“We should go home, yes…” holding her tears.
I don’t know why, I don’t feel regret yelling at her. The anger from my eyes showed the scared mother within, I was taught to be tough and smart of the love she craved. I could see the pain beneath it and my soul drowning in this
persona she'd carved to fit a world of indifference. But I can't help myself, not unless her tears come. “Mom..” I muttered under my breath.
CKITTT
“ANA! BE CAREFUL!”
The car lights blinding my eyes, in front of me it isn’t a truck or a bus or anything big, it is a dark XUV car with plat number 11 BB, then all I know is pitch black.
Then I woke up, gasping for breath. I feel like holding breaths for 5 minutes inside the swimming pool. It’s so tight inside my lungs, my chest is pounding hard like drummers. I run to my kitchen and gulp a glass of water. Recently, the dream feels real and real, maybe because I’ve known something from my past and it’s slowly crawling to my memory.
I dialed Dr.Lim’s phone number.
“Jeremy, I need to talk to you” I said. The young and confident voice replying me “You are welcome like always”.
It’s getting weird, but anything seems to make sense to me. I clicked the white wooden door’s knob and bring myself inside, while Jeremy was standing there still, facing the window with his white lab suit on and her hands inside the pocket. He has a tall figure, like a model, honestly he is a hot doctor.
“Oh” he looked back as he clears his throat. “Alana! You’re here!” he said. I shake his firm hand and sat down in front of him, fidgeting my fingers under the desk. I feel more comfortable talking to him about my memory, maybe because the trustworthy he builds with me from the first time I came here.
“So? Any..progress?” he asked in hesitation, asking while he still thinking of how I feel and how I was shocked by my own’s memory. “It’s… killing me slowly… Jeremy” I frowned and looked up at him, layers in my eyes
would fell down sooner. He took a tissue and hand it to me, without asking Am I crying? Or why am I crying? But I was grateful because he didn’t. Well, he studied psychology that makes him understand my gestures. “You can
tell me the complete story and I can help you” he smiles, a gentle smile that calms my soul.
I tried to smile back, giving him a positive response.
“Jeremy.. I dreamt of my mom. When we..” I gasped for breath then continue “When we fought ..”
He mumbles, “Alana…” he flared his nostrils. “Your mom is..”
“Yes, I know that”
“Vivi said..”
“I know” I cut him off. “Vivi told me the same, and I think Vivi also told you the reason” I want to hear no more about it. It's too heartbreaking to remember andI feel guilty. I wipe my tears off my face and continue “It doesn’t matter anymore, besides.. I remember slowly and I think I could remember more about it. Could you please help me? like a treatment maybe? So I could remember the rest of it?”
Jeremy fold his arms on the desk, looking at me in the eyes “The only thing I can help you is.. You need to find the guy named Andy”
I startled by the name of Andy? Andrea?
“Andrea?” I widened my eyes.
Jeremy nods his head, still smiling. He isn’t my classmate, but if he remembers about Andrea. That means, Andrea is an important character in my story.
“There’s a treatment for amnesia, but yours wasn’t an amnesia. This is your brain’s reaction. Don't ever tell Vivi about it, Andy followed you everywhere during your treatment. Maybe he knew the answer” he continued. He took out a big white envelope, sliding it to me. I look at the paper and him over and over again, he smiles. Then, I took out the result from the envelope and my heart starts beating fast again, all I can see is graphic.
“What is this?” as I asked him, I have no idea what is this.
“This is your brain’s reaction. You have no amnesia. There’s something unnatural that makes you forget. And…” he held my hand, looking at me “I told you about the first time you came right? You came here screaming, and then Vivi took you out from this clinic. You were here after the amnesia occurs, I wonder this is the reason why she won’t let me check on you”
So there’s something weird between me and Vivi?
“But” he stopped me from thinking further, “You can only ask the guy named Andy. If you ask Vivi, she won’t tell you a thing. You know her right? But, Ana.. Vivi isn’t the bad guy. She wants to protect you”
I nod my head, “Okay” I stood up and took the envelope. Then Jeremy hugs me, tapping my back gently.
“You don’t have to worry too much about it. The good will always be with you” he said. I tap his back once and say “Thanks Jeremy, I owe you”
He sniffed a smile and I wave my hand at him.
I walked out the office, walking through the crowded hallway. The clinic is full today, Jeremy is just so successful and handsome.. I don’t understand how could they just broke up like that.
Then a kid laughing, running towards me and bumped into me while I’m waiting in front of the elevator.
“Ouch” he whimpered but continues laughing. A little cute boy with mushroom’s hair. I grabbed his shoulders and smile at him
“Be careful my dear” I said. “TOMMY!!” a woman in her 30s running towards me and the little boy, Tommy.
“Don’t run like that!”
“Sorry Mommy”
I gave her a smile and she gives me a smile too, then hold her kid back and walking in reverse direction, I stare at the lady and the kid’s back but then I saw a checkered painted wall in brown. That’s the children section.
Then my world felt like tearing apart, my heart beats faster, and my head is spinning around. A checkered painted wall, I just realized, it’s actually brown.
“Are you okay?” a sobbing woman’s voice echoing in the room, she has a long black hair and running towards me, shaking my shoulders.. “Ana !” she yelled, “Ana ! please ! Ana ….” That woman’s voice is now clear, and I can see his face clearly. VIVI?? The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. Then I looked back, before passing out. Andrea stands still, shaking, I can see his lips saying “Ani?” in tears.
My body lost its balance, “Miss!” a woman held my weight before I fell down. When I looked back, she is a tall nurse. She leads me seated beside the elevator, tapping my back gently.
“Are you okay?”
I held my head “Sorry. I.. I am okay” muttered under my breath. Then I stood up, with a hand holding the wall. “You
need to rest, Miss” she said. I give her a smile “I’m okay.. I have something to do”. The nurse nods her head, I saw her name pin “LISA”
“Thanks Lisa” I said, wave my hand as the elevator’s open. I tap the panel and it brought me down to the parking lot. The pain has lessen, I feel heavy in the head but I can still walking normally. The parking lot is hot and there’s less ventilation below here, make me tight in the chest. The security pushed the entrance for me. “Have a nice day” he greeted me friendly. I gave him a smile and say “Thanks”. I walked towards my car but then I remember.
“11 BB” I whispered to myself.
WAIT.
This isn’t an accident. I remember it very well, that day must be raining hard, but I didn’t make any mistake while driving, I was in the right way. This is not an accident! I run towards my car, start the engine and begin driving.
***
I stopped by the blocked cliff the day when I had this terrible accident and lost my mom. The only thing I need to do is, looking for a CCTV to check the footage. Then, I turned my body around and found something tiny above a minimarket’s entrance, it’s still early in the afternoon so the CCTV is clearly seen from my sight. I walk towards the mini market, right in front of the cliff. The bell jingle as I pushed the entrance and a tall skinny man with uniform greets me “Welcome to Little Mart!”
I gave him a smile, walking towards him with 3 hundred rupiahs red colored money. “I need to check your CCTV”
The guy named “ANGGA” nods his head with awkward smile, it’s between he want to accept my offers or he has to prevent breaking the rules.
“Here” I pointed, “please move it backwards”
I saw my car crashing into that XUV car, the plat number is unclearly seen but I remember well about the numbers.
The XUV purposely hit mine in the middle of the rainy night and then the accident happened terribly by the cliff, fell down like a plastic toy car. I feel hurt inside my heart cause this when I lost my mom, my precious mom.
“Please zoom” I ordered, the footage isn’t clear, but I was lucky enough this guy keep in the cloud for the previous footage even though this has been passed around 2 years ago. The plat is 11BB even though it’s blurry.
“Did the police come here to check this?”
Angga shook his head. “I’ve been working here for 3 years, but never met a police here before”
How can be a cop be so stupid?
“Thanks” I said as I walk towards the entrance, I can’t believe it’s really 11BB. I can’t believe someone harm me
purposely. This isn’t an accident. How can I be so sure? Well, the car purposely hit me from the front position with a high speed and that car didn’t stop, what a good driver.
Should I go check the car’s owner myself? I pulled out a flashdisk. I keep the footage inside here. If I find another evidence, I could sue this killer right away.
“11BB” I said, according to the plat number. I went to the police officer again, to check the owner of the car, the different office I went previously. This office conclude the car identity’s and driver licence. I was lucky cause I still have a lot of money, to at least gave them bribes so they could do extra works for me.
“The owner is Hugo Adiputera”
Who the hell is that? I know nothing about that person? Wait this is not an amnesia. This might purposely be erased.
“Can you give me the details of the address or anything else specific?” I gave her an awkward smile.
“Sorry” she said, “I..I will give you more” I still insist.
“Thanks but.. No..” she shook her head.
“Giving a customer’s identity is inappropriate miss, we can’t do that. That’s too far” she gave me a firm smile and I know she isn’t going to change her mind even though I gave her more money right now.
Now I know. The next target is to find the owner of the car. Hugo Adiputera. Who is he? I don’t know? Is he related to me or my mom? Is this kind of revenge?
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