drrrtt drrttt
The room is kinda messy. Empty bottles scattering on the floor, room in pitch black and only a light from a computer screen was turned on.
A man in his 20s typing.
ddrrttt drrttt
He clicked his tongue and desperately took the call.
"ANDREA!!!" a woman yelled at him.
"Hmmm" he hummed in response, he feels like not talking about it, whatever the topic is.
"Stop drinking and stop making her curious you scum!"
"I-"
"I told you already! Stop showing up in front of her"
She doesn't understand the absurd situation. He doesn't purposely set the meet up or hang out with her so obviously. Just, he did it unconciously. He stared at the floor where the empty alcohol bottles were placed irregularly.
"Please stop it already, Andrea..please" the woman on the phone finally sobbed in gloom.
"Yes, Vivi. I promise"
***
Previously in the hospital at midnight, I sneak inside the hospital like a thief to steal the truth from Dr.Kim’s office. I have no idea what happened to my past memory but I have to find it out soon. Everything puzzled inside my head, they are different pieces in one incident. I don’t have much idea about it.
First, the memory of me falling from the cliff.
Second, me and Andrea. The moment we date, which was actually cheated on Jason.
Third, my mom was alive during my engagement, 2 years ago. As I know my mom passed away when I was still a teenager.
Fourth, about the mental hospital. I have no idea about it at all. I don’t remember anything about mental hospital.
What happened to me? I gulp the alcohol’s bottle, my eye –bags are obvious, looking like a dead zombie. Who is Dr.Kim? Should I find out before I read the record?
I was too curious to wait, at least after I read this thick folder. I flip the folder, and start reading.
Alana Wang’s Unusual Record in the first page.
Day 1: She doesn’t say anything since arrive in the hospital
Day 2: Keep yelling to call her mom
Day 3: Injured her wrist, saying she wants to die
Until the Day 10: She has nightmares every night.
There’s a picture of me, bruises on my face and all over my body. I have no idea what happened to me. But this is absurd and confusing, somehow I’m so scared looking at those bruises, was I possessed or something?
The body in the picture is also mine, I have a tiny mole on my back near my hip. But what caused me bruises like that? There’s only 3 weeks record day per day about my progress. Which means I was totally out of my mind that time.
I turned my computer on, I have to see who the hell Dr.Kim is. I start typing his name on the screen together with the hospital details.
dr.Siswanto Kim, SpKJ, M.Kes
So, Dr.Kim was my psychiatric, my doctor? I read the whole biography about him. Everyone is hiding the truths from me, they want me to find it out myself. I don’t understand why. I was so brave to steal at the hospital, should I return it back later? I feel bad somehow. Dr.Kim will soon realized it and I’m screwed.
The day after tomorrow, I receive a call from Vivi. I grab my phone and put it on my ear.
“WHAT THE HELL? DID YOU STEAL THE FILE?” it almost deaf my ears. I take a glimpse of the folder on my desk, I want to return it back but I was so scared being caught as a thief.
“I…I…” I stammered, “Yes.. I did” I blew a harsh breath.
“SEE? WHAT THE F*CK ALANA WANG!” she moaned.
“I’m sorry okay? I was just impatient” I rubbed my forehead, walking back and forth in my bedroom.
“So, what did you find then?” she still sounds really pissed.
“Just the detail of my amnesia, like how I was during the treatment”
“Okay, Alana. Just remember, don’t you dare to embarrass yourself, okay? I believe you. If you did anything embarrassing, I will feel the same too. You know? You are like sister to me, if anything happens to you, it means I’ll be affected too. Understand?” she talked non –stop.
I flared my nostrils, “Okay”
“Then, I should get going, see ya soon”
“See ya”
I put my phone on my desk, remaining calm, I want to return the folder back but I afraid Dr.Kim was so pissed by me, should I pass it to Vivi? I just feel addicted to find out more about my past. I know, it was just a past, but I can’t just stay still without revealing it. It bothers me a lot since it flashed in my head.
TING TONG
“oh” I startled, I was too long in daze.
“On my way” I said, to make them stop pushing my doorbell.
Soon as I opened the door, Andrea impatiently came in and lock it right away.
“We need to talk” he said.
I nod my head, he seems stressed.
“What happen?” I asked, catching him to the dining table. He sat down on the dining chair, waiting for me to do the same.
I look at him anxiously, I feel awkward and frightened at the same time. He looks so scary all of sudden, like something has happened to him and it bothers him too much until he made that kind of expressions.
“Alana” he held my hand, eyes gazing mine. He’s in serious talk so I just keep my mouth shut. “I know this is not the right time but..” he exhales breath, begin to continue “I love you” he pulled out a ring, an engagement ring and I was startled.
“Andrea?” Did he just propose me or something? I took the ring, looking at the detail of the solitaire diamond ring. It’s gorgeous!
“This is the ring I used to gave you. And this ring is engagement ring. I know, you must be puzzling right now. But, once you wear this I think you gonna remember something, maybe?” he shrugged, “Like in movies… like you wear it during… your nap or sleep….” he muttered under his breath.
I stare him talking confusedly, it makes me laugh, he is cute.
“What?” he asked, “What are you laughing at?” he didn’t realize how weird he is. “No..no.. it was nothing” I laughed, shaking my hands.
“Thanks for giving me a clue” I added. Andrea nods his head and say “I was…” then he flared his nostrils, he looks depressed. “I want you to remember things, but I don’t want to force you, but sometimes I feel wrong giving you clue. I’m too far.. am I right?” I don’t get it, really. What is he talking about?
“Vivi called me, about you stole the folder from Dr.Kim.. and I feel bad for not helping you” he continues. Oh so that’s the reason he looks uncomfortable all of sudden?
“Andrea?” I quirked an eyebrow, wheels spinning in my head.
He shook his head and begin talking, lifting his hands to show me his fingers “Don’t get me wrong Ani, I… didn’t wear…. the ring so that ring is..” he stammered on his words again. “That ring was our past” he added.
I grabbed his hand “It’s fine. I do understand” and smile, the best smile I had.
He looks relieved and then he stood up from the chair “Now, should we get some snacks? Or dinner if you haven’t got one?” ask hesitantly.
I nod my head, “Let’s go” and he looks delighted.
***
We stopped by a vintage café near my place.
“So, what do you want to eat?” he asked, eyes peeping from the upper side of the menu.
“Um…” I mumble as my eyes scanning the menu. “Spaghetti Carbonara? Hmm….and …. Strawberry Mojito”
“Spaghetti Carbonara and Strawberry Mojito please” he ordered the waitress. The waitress wrote on her note, nodding her head, then she asks “Anything else?”
We shook our head and she begins to repeat our orders, one by one.
“Then, what are you going to do after you reveal your past?” Andrea asked after the waitress left. I put my hand on my chin and mumbles again, “Maybe….. nothing?” I shrugged. Andrea flinched and says “I mean, it will affect your present days”.
“It’s past. What can I change?” I looked down, fidgeting my fingers.
Andrea held my hand, “If you really need something, or maybe something is bothering you. Please tell me, I’ll do my best to help you”.
His eyes shone sincerely, he’s a truthful person even though I just know him for months, I have no idea how could I forget someone like him. I won’t believe if he is a bad person.
“Andrea..” I held his hand, squeezing his fingers gently.
“Why are you so nice to me? Could you please tell me a little secret of yours and mine?”
He frowned, rubbing his forehead and exhales breath.
“I know this is stupid, Ani. But well..” he straightened his body. “You and I were really in love that time” he smiles, “Do you want to know what was our little secret?”
I nod my head in excitement.
“Me and you did have an affair before and after your engagement, but your engagement was actually not from your own will”.
My heart beats faster. I feel real and familiar, but disturbing. What does it mean from not my own will?
“I’m sorry, Ani. But this is the only hint I can give you. I don't want to hurt you or purposely make you to remember me as soon as possible. I hope we could get along like we used to be”
My eyes widened, “What..”
The waitress came over to delivers our food, “Spaghetti Carbonara and Nasi Goreng Kampung”
And then we stop talking about it.
***
“Where do you want to bring me? Are you kidnapping me or something? We’ve been on the empty road for an hour”
Andrea giggles as he peep me once with his eyes, saying “You’ll know. It’s quite far, not that beautiful but you’ll know”
“Anyway, it’s here” he said. He parked his car aside where I can see only cliffs and a far away city in a dark background.
“Is this going to be like in the movie?” I said with a chuckle. It’s beautiful when the city shimmering lights like stars in the pitch black sky. Andrea pulled something out from his trunk, a mini black blanket with yellow –stars pattern.
“Whoaa. You have this kind of thing in your trunk?”
He shrugged and smiling sheepishly, “You’ll remember this blanket sooner or later”.
I smile, he’s cute. Andrea put the blanket on the dusty rocky ground, then we sit down looking straight to the city and the sky, the moon is half –seen, then I tilted my head looking at Andrea while he was busy enjoying the view.
“So… we were dating for how many years?”
Andrea gave a long mumble, “I don’t remember much about the time, since we enjoy every seconds of it, and I always want more.. but approximately about…. 2 years?”
So our relationship happens since 2 years ago before I got an accident.
“I was so worried about you that time, I can barely calm myself about it.. but” he tilted his head looking at me, his eyes reflecting the shimmering lights. Just noticed he had a cute Korean eyes.
I gave him a smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. I could feel the heat growing in my cheeks as he looked at me “Are you mixed Korean?” I asked, cause I want to talk no more about past, all I want to do right now is enjoying my little quality time with Andrea.
He flinched, kind of startled “Why?” since I suddenly ask about it.
“Curiosity?” I lifted an eyebrow.
He sniffed a smile and nod his head.
“Well.. my mom is Korean –Chinese and my dad is Indonesian. They met in Korea, when my dad has a study tour back when he was in Middle School. Then coincidentally, my mom went to Indonesia for business when they grew up and met my dad in the same company. Then.. yeaa… you know”
I nod my head, no wonder he is so good looking. I love his eyes.
“You asked because of my eyes?” he pointed his eye with his finger.
I nod my head, “Yes..” he did read my mind.
“Hah… you used to ask me the same question when we start hanging out” he gazes back to the view, closing his eyes calmly while the wind blew his face. I like his personality, the way he dressed up, the way he calms me, the way he looks at me, the way he talks, the way he treats me, everything...
“Andrea”
He tilted his head looking at me, then I caught him in my arms. Embracing him to my warmth. I hug him and for a while he’s speechless. But then he chuckles, “What happen to you?” tapping my shoulders gently.
“I don’t know” I sniffed a smile.
“I feel comfortable”
Falling in love with you is like entering a house and finally realizing I'm home. When you smile at me I feel invisible hands wrapping around me making me feel safe. When your eyes are locked on mine, I feel like I can see galaxies instead of just pupils. Having you in my life makes me feel like everything's possible in this world, like I can conquer anything. I don't regret meeting you and I know you might not be my first but what I really wish in life is you to be my last.
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