As I called him “Andy”, Andrea locked her eyes on mine saying “Are you okay Ana?” now he looks terrified. There’s something behind that terrifying expression, something he hates to remember.
I nod, “I.. am okay..”
He flared his nostrils, “Ana, you used to call me that during our high school”.
I lifted an eyebrow, “Did I?” I don’t remember anything about it, that name just came through my head.
“Ani..” he clears his throat again. “We used to be very close”
At this moment, I know. I have an amnesia, and it is a roadblock of sorts or perhaps a screen that reaches from ground to sky, because I have sense it. I am aware I’m forgetting something important and memorable. My subconscious memory is trying to wake my past reality.
I didn’t blink an eye. What is happening? We used to be so close? I have no clue about what is he talking about, but I’m sure this isn’t a lie.
“Andy.. I can’t remember anything. Did.. we… really?” I made another question.
Andrea shrugged his shoulders “You will find out one day”
He adjusted the gears and turning his steering wheel. He sighed so hopelessly.
“Ani?” he called.
“hmm?”
“I and Vivi and you were classmates during high school… I had a crush on you.. quiet long ago.. during high school”
I’m flattered. Really? A man like him had a crush on a girl like me in the past? Oh this is insane, I have two handsome boys liking me during high school. “I..”
Okay. I want to say that I only remember Jason but he cut me off
“Oh anyway we’ve arrived!”
My eyes are gazing at the big aesthetic restaurant from the window. He parked his car in the parking lot, quiet far from the restaurant, we need to take like about 5 minutes walk.
We join the line while the security is busy scanning the visitors. This restaurant is the best among all restaurant in this town, this peaceful place has the most delicious food for all the Italian food lovers out there, the most exquisite
place to eat and is truly the finest restaurant in town. I used to come here with Jason, he proposed me here.
I still obtain the best feeling. No matter how many times I come, I always love to observe around this restaurant, the designs are great and very calming. Each and every comforting smile the employees have on their faces and the soft Italian music playing, always makes me feel relaxed. When I breathe in the aroma of the Italian food, it always reminds me of how hungry I am. The plastic plants that clasp to the walls ever so freely give it a natural appearance. The marble tiled floor beneath me gives the restaurant a clean yet warm appearance. The waiter leads us to seated. They have soft cushion seats that let my body sink right down in them. I always notice the quiet atmosphere around me. This makes everyone's mood ever so noticeable. The windows that surround the tables
present an open feeling, almost as if I was eating outside.
Andrea sits straight with his arms on the table “Do you like it?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed.
He smiles, his lips lifted upward. The way his dimples crinkles and his teeth are perfectly aligned. The warm glow of his happiness gives me a heart throb. Andrea is actually perfect, he is smart, rich, handsome and very gentle. Did we really get along together? Should I ask Vivi about it? But Vivi isn’t in town for maybe 3 weeks. I don’t know, if this is regarding to my amnesia, Vivi might have told me. I think Vivi has her own reason. She wants the best for me. But I will ask Vivi about it later. The waiter hands us the menu and we ordered.
Sometimes, when I look at Andrea, there’s something in the heart. Which is a little bit irritating from the inside, but I can’t figure out what it is. He is like a long lost boyfriend of mine, once I meet him.. I feel happy.. inside here, the
heart.
Our Spaghetti Bolognese and Pizza are finally here. We talked about school and college, but Andrea didn’t want to talk about me and him. He tends to change the topic while I came up with it.
Then the presence of a dark shadow, the voice of a guy talking which is no stranger to me. I tilted my head looking at the guy next to our seat. It’s Jason and Julia. Jason was shocked at first when he saw me, maybe he felt so much regret for betraying me..
Andrea is also shocked when he saw them sitting next to our table, but he remains calm. I looked down really hard to move my head, cause he is the person who ruined my life. I feel like want to escape from here, I won’t let them judge me or even look at me with that pity looks on their face.
Jason and Julia pretend they don’t see me like I’m invisible, Jason thinks everything was solved with his money he gave me. He doesn’t know how painful I am along these months. He is a dckhead.
Andrea held my hand, looking at me at the eyes and mouthed “Let’s leave”
We stood up, then when we reach the front part of the restaurant, I wait for him to pay the bill. Once he had finished, he started walking and I hurry catch up with him.
We went back to his car, his white shirt is soaking sweat, cause we were running from the front door restaurant until the parking lot which is quite far. We laughed as we arrived, I don’t know what are we laughing at but he is pretty
excited to run away, like in a mission solved maybe.
I pulled my tissue out from my bag and wipe the sweat off his face, which is normal to me but not to him. We stared at each other in a very odd way, our glances battled each other. In a moment he leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine, I felt his body loosen and arms touch my shoulders. Then he paused, and pushed himself back to his seat “I..I…I’m sorry” he said, he frowned, rubbing his forehead. His cheeks blushed.
I threw my gaze away, then exhale a breath “It’s okay..”
My heart beats faster, my face warmth itself I can barely speak to him right now.
There’s something inside my heart, I couldn’t explain it, but I can feel it real, this is hurt, like a broken heart, but it’s not a broken heart. It’s like something missing inside, and when I kissed him I feel both happy and relieved.
He is something to me in the past.
I gazed at the side road from the window. Then he clears his throat. “So.. where’s next?”
“Home” I replied without looking at him. He swallowed hard, working out the right words to say but he ended up saying a word “Okay” with a bit sound of hesitation. This is very awkward to me, I loosened my body, sagged onto the soft seat, still gazing outside the window. Then he starts the engine, desperate of talking to me.
***
I can’t sleep. I tilted my head looking at my digital clock on the bedside table with the numbers 02.30 glowing in yellow. I changed my laying position, hugging my bolster and looking through the window, watching the dark sky with bright moonlight and stars scattering upon the sky. Andrea, I don’t know what is he thinking about..
My phone vibrates, I know it isn’t Vivi cause Vivi never calls me this late.
I rose from my bed to catch my phone on the desk, Andrea’s name popped up.
“Ani?” that gentle voice which makes my heart flutters…again..
“Y..yes?” I stuttered
“Sorry Ani” he said, he sounds very guilty. He caught the same insomnia as me, I know today incident’s is quiet insulting me, but I don’t feel insulted.. honestly.. yes I am not. Damn..
“it’s okay” a thin smile lifted across my face.
He took another breath “It was my fault. It just happened like that”
“It’s okay. I am fine…really”
“Okay Ani. Have a sweet dream”
And I hung up.
I went back to bed, closed my eyes for about 1-2 hours and asleep.
“Ani” the man’s voice echoing
“Ani? Do you like it?” another echoes.
His face is not clearly seen. All I can see is his body and his hand giving me a cute yellow box with red ribbon on the lid.
“I haven’t open it” I chuckled.
He sat by my side on the bench waiting for me to open it. The sky is very calming, the birds chirping, flying from tree to tree, looks like we are at the park. Some couples are having their own picnic by the lake.
I open the lid of the box and there’s 2 S.E.A. Aquarium Singapore tickets
“Don’t joke Andy..” I shook my head
“I don’t” he giggled.
“don’t f*cking kidding me cause this is expensive! Do you still remember your promise?”
I slapped his arm and he whimpered.
He held my shoulders with his gentle hands “It’s okay.. come on. Let’s go next week. I’ve bought the ticket anyway” and winked an eye.
“Or do you need me to throw away the ticket?” he pouts. Which is cute, now his face is clearly seen. It’s Andrea. The blurry vision has gone. He took the ticket from the box and threatened me to tear it. “I’m gonna tear it.. goodbye
tickets!!”
“NO !” I yelled. And he laughed really hard.
***
The tall man, with his tidy outfits stand wobbling, he grabbed another bottle of the beer and gulp them half at once.
"Ani" he sobbed in his hands and leaned his head on the countertop, crying.
***
I woke up, gasping for breath. I rose from my bed, looking for a glass of water. Then when I gulped a glass of water, I rest my hand on the kitchen. “IT’S ANDREA !”
I was so shocked the time I realized it was Andrea. HE WAS MY PAST.
I quickly rushed to my desk, trying to find Andrea’s contact in my phone. I pressed the green button and put it on my ears.
“Halo?”
“Halo? Andrea? I remember ! Please meet me today at 7” I talked impatiently
“Okay pick you up on time”
I shifted my bag on my shoulder and rushed down to the lobby while Andrea stopped his car waiting for me by the drop off. Before he slid down his window, I know it was his car so I just pull the handle off and let myself inside.
Andrea was looking so terrified, like I was about to kill him. He bit his lower lip then say, “Sorry, A-alana”
I snorted a laugh, I don’t know why but it sounds like a joke to me right now, he called me by my full name all of sudden?
That moment when we kissed, I was both shocked and happy, but today I feel like I want to do it again. Alana, please stop.
He gave me a thin smile then gazing straight ahead.
I cleared my throat then flare my nostrils, “Andy…”
“Yes?” he looked at me like a guilty kitty.
“S.E.A. Aquarium” I said.
He flinched, then stopped his car. He adjusted his butt from the car seat facing me, waiting for me to continue.
I repeat, “S.E.A. Aquarium. Do you remember a thing?”
Andrea frowned in depression, he exhales a harsh breath then say, "No" he shook his head in depression.
"What?!" I don't know why but I feel so angry.
At last, he sighed and finally says, “Yes, we went there.. together… just both of us” he bit off each word and met my eyes.
“What happened to me Andy?” I should try to figure out things that happened to me ever since that day when I suddenly woke up in a hospital. Vivi doesn't even talk about it anymore. I don't know whether I am really sick or not. Something must have happened to me.
Andrea rubbed his forehead, “I can’t tell you right now..”
Which leads me into a deep misery. I can’t live this life with mysteries, really.
This is not a Detective Conan’s serials. This is unfair to me.
I remain calm then say, “Let’s go there..”
He widened his eyes, was a bit startled. “Ani.. I afraid you won’t like it later. And- and...”
“I want to remember. I think I have amnesia. I will find out myself if you won’t give me a clue. Please at least help me with this. I don’t care how bad it is going to be”
Andrea seems shocked, he looked at me with eyes widened.
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