New York City woke up hearing the news of a tourist lady's body found in the forest. On the other corner of the city, inside a small two-bedroom apartment, John Holland was sitting in his study room. He was reading his newspaper as usual while taking a puff from the pipe in his hands. A self-proclaimed future Sherlock Holmes, he already knew the news before everyone else.
John had called himself a private detective for a long time, but he had never once solved a case. He was totally useless, yet he had full confidence in himself.
The door to his study room opened and two people came inside. One was Toby Miller, a total human golden retriever for John. Toby passed law college with high marks in every subject, but his life changed after meeting John, his role model. The other one was Sera Finch. She didn't come to John because she idolized him; she was just there for Toby’s sake. She had a thin, slender figure with a very narrow nose like a Greek god.
"Good morning, Sir Holland," both greeted him.
He glanced up from the newspaper. "Morning. What is the update, Miller? Did you get to the scene?"
Toby nodded. "I got to the scene where the dead body was, just like you instructed, sir. But your assumption is wrong. That is a normal death caused by a fall from the height of the hills."
John blinked his eyes. "Oh. But think about it like this... what if..."
"There's nothing to think about. That lady fell from a height and died on the spot. We both saw the real dead body, Sir Holland," Sera interrupted him with her usual cockiness.
"Did I ask anything to you, Ms. Finch? Do you know what observation skill is? It is what a detective must have first. Who would even take you as an apprentice apart from me? You don't have observation skill or critical thinking either," he said, taking a puff from his pipe and glaring at her daringly.
"Of course, I'm the stupid one, Sir. Why didn't you even come to the inquest place? We always go to the crime scene and take pictures for you, yet you never come with us. If I'm not wrong, you are scared to see a real dead body."
He laughed like he had heard an unbelievable joke. "Scared me? I'm in this field way before you both were born! How dare you say that while looking at my face?"
"My dad is younger than you, is what you mean?" she asked back, looking down.
John had enough of her. He took a book and threw it at her. She dodged it easily. "I have good reflexes, old man."
John nodded and stood up. "I'll finish your arrogance today! Why are you looking down? Is something of yours lost there? Look at my face when I'm talking to you!"
She stood there, still looking down. "I wouldn't dare to say anything while looking at your face. So I can say anything I want if I'm not looking, right?"
John became red like a tomato as he walked toward her suddenly.
Ding dong...
"I'll see who's that..." Toby scooted from that chaotic situation. A moment later, he came back with an envelope.
"What is it?" John asked, tapping his foot on the floor continuously.
"No idea, I didn't see anybody at the doorstep. Only this." Toby handed the envelope to John.
John’s eyes squinted. Who would actually send an envelope like this without any address? He could smell something fishy, though. He opened it. Inside was a letter. He opened the letter and read out loud: "Today within 24 hours, there will be a robbery happening at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The thieves are the world-famous Chained Robbery Gang. They are after the famous Duccio painting. Catch them if you can, Mr. Detective. With lots of love, your big fan."
He glared at Sera after reading that. "You think I won't find your stupid prank, you little shit?"
She pointed to herself with wide eyes. "Why would I do that? I would rather prank a puppy dog than someone as stupid as you."
John crumbled the note in his hand. "This scrawny little thing..." He lunged toward her, but Toby interrupted, standing in front of her. "Sir John, forgive her for me. Let's look through this letter now. Who is supposed to have sent this?"
John took a deep breath. "Probably a prank. Never mind."
"What if it's not like that? What if it's real? Won't that be a chance for you to show them you're a real detective?" Toby asked with hopeful eyes.
"You think someone will help us like this without having an ulterior motive? Miller, have some basic intelligence."
Toby sighed. "Sir, I'm talking about the 'what if' case here. It's better to try than to have a regret later, right?"
John sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Toby is right. I'm nothing but a useless, self-proclaimed detective who never solved anything. If God is giving me this as a chance, I should prove it. At least to my juniors who always stay beside me like this, even if I'm a failure to them, he thought. Then he opened his eyes with a smirk. "Fine, let's give it a try then. The letter says it clearly, the heist is going to happen in the Met, probably at night. Let's go and capture them before the cops get there."
"Uhm... you both are not counting me into this, right?" she asked, staring at them.
They both grinned while looking at her sinisterly.
Later at midnight, exactly 7 PM.
"I cannot believe this shit," Sera said grumpily, standing between them behind a bush. John was spectating the museum front gate with binoculars.
"Here is the plan. The moment we get inside, we will take the painting out and hide ourselves, waiting for the robbery gang to come. The moment they get there wondering where the painting is like fools, we lunge onto them. Understand?"
Toby nodded. Sera groaned annoyedly. The watchman of the museum just went out for a moment to get a tea, and at that time, they got in. John took out a fake keycard and entered inside.
"Uhm, Sir, don't we look like the robbers? Why did we wear black dresses, actually?" Toby asked confusedly while walking forward.
"Shh... don't make much noise. Black is good for hiding. I won't do anything without thinking twice," John said, walking cautiously.
"Yeah, sure. If anyone catches us like this, we will be the robbers instead of the real ones, old man."
"Save your sarcasm for once I catch the robbers, Ms. Finch. I want to see how you flinch uncomfortably while your boss gets recognition by the nation," he said, looking around.
"Oh sure I will, old man with a lot of dreams. Glad to work under such a national pride."
Suddenly, the door opened behind them again. They looked at each other.
"What are we supposed to do?" Toby asked with a little panic.
"I told you this is a stupid idea! Run before they catch us!" Sera said, pushing them. They ran, scrambled, and lost each other.
Two police officers got inside.
"If the information is correct, we will catch the robbers here. They are world-famous, you know, for robbing famous places without getting caught. Not this time! They will be in my hands," one cop said while cackling.
"Yes! Senior is the best officer that I have ever seen in this world," the other one said cheerfully.
The senior stopped laughing and looked at him. "Have you seen any other officers around the world?" he asked seriously.
The other one smiled. "No, that's why I said Senior is the best in the world."
"What, do you think that I'm a fool—" Suddenly, they heard a noise ahead.
"Senior, I think they are already here."
The senior grinned. "Let's give a warm American-style welcome to them then."
They moved forward. Sera did not get a place to hide. What am I supposed to do? Where should I hide? That old man, I'll end him myself once I get out of here, she thought. The officers got near. Sera could feel herself trembling from nervousness. She saw a bucket of primer paint beside the wall and got an idea. She poured it over herself in a hurry. She looked around panickly, ran toward a statue of three Greek women standing together, and stood with them, holding the bare chest of the statue next to her.
"Look around carefully, Leon. I'm sure I heard the noise from here," the senior said, looking through everything carefully. He finally got to the statue and looked at it, squinting his eyes.
"One, two, three, four? Is it a new piece? I didn't see four before..." he mumbled as he stood very close to Sera, looking her up and down. She side-eyed him staring back, and poked his eyes hard with two fingers.
"Bullseye, you perv! What are you looking at? You haven't seen a woman before?!" she said angrily. Then she got back her senses and ran away from there.
Meanwhile, the robbers also got in, whispering things in Russian. They knew exactly where the painting was and went there. They took the painting, laughing. Suddenly, someone appeared behind them and tapped on their shoulder. The three of them turned back together.
John smiled. "Peekaboo! Caught you bastards!" With that, he slammed a book he had onto the one who was holding the painting, and grabbed the painting from his hands.
The other robbers looked at each other and lunged at John. He pushed them away and ran out.
Wait, why am I running? I need to catch them! he thought in the middle of running. He ran back. "Hahaha... you think you can escape?!" he said, laughing stupidly. They looked at each other and lunged toward him. One punched him in his face."oh yeah!"John falls down feeling stars around his head.
They took the painting from his hands, and ran away.
The robbers ran toward the entrance door. Suddenly, a man who looked like a beggar appeared in front of them with a pistol. "Running away, huh? You foreigners should have stayed in your own country, fools!"
One of the robbers said something in Russian to that man. The man shot him in the leg instantly. "Speak in English, you fucking losers! How dare you talk in some alien language to me!" The madman laughed and pointed the gun to the other robber. "Hey, hands up!"
The robber put his hands up, on the verge of crying, and said all the English words he knew: "Yellow... yellow, yellow... good morning, good afternoon, good evening, goodnight... one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, six, seven, six, seven. New York, Miami, America, Katy Perry, Justin Bieber! Show you up tonight, I wanna show you off... pew, no,no, pew, pew, no please..."
The madman laughed. "Nice try..."
The moment he went to pull the trigger, a white thing bumped into him. The man fell down. It was Sera running while reeking in primer looking back, stepping on the man without even realizing it.
"Move, bitches!" She pushed away the two robbers in a hurry and ran. Behind her, the two police officers chased her, stomping over the fallen man repeatedly.
The remaining two thieves looked at each other, confused, holding onto the painting tightly. They moved forward as Toby appeared in front of them. "You can't leave! I... I mean, it's not ethical to rob. Come on, let's talk this out. I know you all have your reasons to rob, but let's talk this out," he said patiently.
Suddenly, John came behind them, held one robber by his neck, and kicked the other one in his butt.
He got the painting and ran. Inside the museum, it became total chaos. The remaining robbers were chasing after John, the madman was chasing after the robbers, the officers were after Sera... John bumped into the senior officer, and the painting fell from his hands. The senior took the painting with a grin."HAHAHA..Caught you bunch of motherfuc..." He smirked, but before he could finish his words John slapped over his face, yanked the painting away, and started to run again. Everyone was getting kicked and beaten by each other, like a bunch of rats fighting for a little piece of cheesecake.
The madman raised his pistol up, feeling maniacal seeing the chaos. "Everyone hands up, or I'll shoot you all!" For a moment, the museum became dead silent as everyone stood putting their hands up. "Y'all are thinking this is a comedy show? I'll shatter everyone's skull today!" With that, he shot up four times.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Toby looked up. "Run!"
Everyone started to run again as a massive chandelier fell down right beside the madman. He laughed unbelievably. "I didn't die!"
Sera slapped his face hard in the middle of running. "You sonflower! Watch where you shoot next time!" From the force of her slap, he fell down, knocked out.
The two robbers were running outside with the painting when John put his leg in front. Both fell, stumbling over it. The police had already fallen down from the chandelier incident. John took the painting while panting heavily. "Bunch of bitches, I told you I'll catch you all."
He walked out and sat down on the museum doorstep along with Sera and Toby.
That day changed his entire life. The stupid and useless detective became the nation's best detective who caught the chain robbers and the serial killer. Just like that, sometimes people get recognition with time. John became even more of a role model for Toby, while Sera saw nothing but an old man who solved something completely out of luck.
