CHAPTER 7: KARMA IS A BITCH PART 1
MELODY: Mom, hurry up! We need to go!
KATALINA: You don't have to shout. I'm right here.
DANIEL: You're in a hurry.
MELODY: I've missed Granny.
KATALINA: I hope she doesn't get tired of you too quickly.
MELODY: What's that supposed to mean?
KATALINA: Daniel, help your sister into the car.
(MELODY NARRATES)
On our way to Granny's place, we stopped at a shopping mall to buy food.
Unfortunately, I was traveling with a family of traitors.
One minute we were shopping together.
The next?
They vanished.
Completely.
Without me.
Despite the fact that I was still recovering from my ankle injury.
I stood at the top of a staircase, staring down at what looked like my inevitable death.
MELODY: Hello?!
I have one functioning ankle!
Nobody answered.
Wonderful.
Abandoned by my own blood.
Luckily, the heavens decided I had suffered enough.
A familiar voice spoke behind me.
EZRA: Surprise, surprise.
I nearly cried tears of joy.
MELODY: I've never been happier to see someone in my entire life.
EZRA: I'm delighted to hear that.
What are you doing up here?
MELODY: Being neglected.
EZRA: I can see that.
(The Ocean by Shy Martin ft. Mike Perry plays.)
MELODY: My family came here to buy food, then immediately forgot I existed.
I can't get down those stairs alone.
Sure, the stretches help, but what if I trip?
Have you seen those stairs?
They're practically a death trap.
EZRA: So I've finally found my lost treasure.
MELODY: Did you hit your head on the way here?
Anyway, please help me.
EZRA: I didn't.
And I will.
Only because you said please.
He stepped forward.
Then I stopped him.
MELODY: Hold on.
EZRA: Why are you looking at me like that?
MELODY: Your eyes are beautiful.
His entire body froze.
Even his ears turned red.
EZRA: What?
MELODY: Can I?
Without waiting for an answer, I gently touched his face.
Poor man.
I think I accidentally disconnected his brain.
MELODY: You have the rainbow's reflection in your eyes.
You were already gorgeous before.
Now they're even more extravagant.
Honestly, God can be so unfair sometimes.
EZRA: Who hit whose head now?
Stop talking nonsense.
MELODY: I'm serious.
EZRA: That's what worries me.
Before I could continue admiring his face, he carefully lifted me into his arms.
MELODY: Well...
This is considerably less embarrassing than falling down the stairs.
EZRA: Your standards are concerning.
MELODY: Yet somehow still higher than Freddy's.
EZRA: Fair point.
He carried me downstairs and gently placed me beside my family.
Then, without another word, he turned and left.
KATALINA: Who was that?
MELODY: Shouldn't we start with an apology?
DANIEL: Sorry.
Our hands were full.
I was coming back for you.
MELODY: Sure, Your Royal Highness.
My mother stared at me.
Then smiled.
KATALINA: The rainbow is shining brighter today.
MELODY: I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
DANIEL: Awkward.
(He plays Selema (Po Po) by Musa Keys.).
THE HIROTO FAMILY
FABIOLA: Mom! Dad! Come here!
Both parents immediately rushed over.
FIONA: What happened?
HAVIOR: Is someone dying?
FABIOLA: I saw Ezra laughing yesterday.
The room fell silent.
EZRA: ...Is that a crime now?
FABIOLA: That's not the point.
EZRA: Then what is?
Fabiola pointed dramatically at him.
FABIOLA: Your laugh was real.
Ezra blinked.
FABIOLA: Usually your smiles look polite.
Professional.
Like customer service.
This one was different.
It looked genuine.
EZRA: You're analyzing my laughter?
FABIOLA: And that's not even the worst part.
Fiona narrowed her eyes.
FIONA: There's worse?
FABIOLA: He let a girl touch him.
The room exploded.
BOTH: HE DID WHAT?!
Ezra nearly choked.
EZRA: Why are you saying it like I committed a crime?
FABIOLA: Because you practically treat physical contact like a contagious disease.
EZRA: That's not true.
FIONA: Really?
When was the last time you willingly let a girl touch you?
Ezra opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
Then opened it again.
Nothing came out.
HAVIOR: That's what I thought.
FABIOLA: She touched his face.
BOTH: HIS FACE?!
Havior grabbed his chest dramatically.
HAVIOR: Wifey.
Get the anointing oil.
Our son has been bewitched.
EZRA: Please stop being dramatic.
She needed help.
FIONA: Since when do you let girls get close enough to touch your face?
EZRA: There's a lot you don't know about me.
For example...
I'm not even a virgin.
Silence.
Absolute silence.
Fionafroze.
Havior froze.
Even Fabiola froze.
BOTH: JESUS CHRIST!
FABIOLA: Nobody asked for that information!
EZRA: You literally asked if I've ever been close to a girl.
Fiona sat down slowly.
FIONA: I need water.
HAVIOR: I need prayer.
EZRA: I need a new family.
THE MOON FAMILY
LISSA: My favorite granddaughter!
MELODY: Granny!
I immediately threw myself into her arms.
KATALINA: Amazing.
The woman who carried you for nine months gets ignored.
MELODY: Someone sounds jealous.
LISSA: Come here, Kate.
Mom rolled her eyes before accepting the hug.
For the next few hours, everyone talked while I enjoyed being spoiled by Granny.
Life was peaceful.
Suspiciously peaceful.
Then my phone rang.
MELODY: I'll be right back, Granny.
LISSA: Don't stay out too long.
MELODY: No promises.
LISSA: Melody.
MELODY: Fine.
I'll try.
BREANNA'S HOUSE
Josie opened the door.
The moment she saw me.
JOSIE: MY LOVEEEEEE!
MELODY: MY BIATCHHHHHHH!
We collided in a dramatic hug.
I walked inside.
Then immediately regretted it.
Because Breanna was crying.
Not normal crying.
Movie-level crying.
The kind that makes you wonder if someone died.
MELODY: What happened?
BREA: It's Thomas!
MELODY: What about him?
BREA: He broke up with me!
MELODY: That's it?
BREA: AFTER TAKING MY VIRGINITY!
The room went silent.
MELODY: Oh.
He's a psychopath.
BREA: Am I not beautiful enough?
JOSIE: You are beautiful.
MELODY: He's the idiot here.
Now stop crying.
Let's go spend your money.
Brea immediately stopped crying.
BREA: I'm heartbroken and that's your solution?
MELODY: Absolutely.
Retail therapy exists for a reason.
BREA: Do I look like your ATM?
MELODY: Yes.
Brea burst into another round of tears.
JOSIE: Melody, you're not helping.
MELODY: These are crocodile tears.
And let's not pretend she was innocent.
BREA dated half that man's family tree.
BREA: It wasn't my fault!
MELODY: Wasn't it?
BREA: I just went where the vibes were.
MELODY: The vibes led you through all five brothers.
Josie fell onto the couch laughing.
BREA: I really loved Thomas.
MELODY: Apparently Thomas disagreed.
BREA: You're evil.
MELODY: Yet somehow I'm still your favorite friend.
Brea sighed dramatically.
BREA: Unfortunately.
MELODY: That's what I thought.
Now get dressed.
We're going outside.
If we're suffering today, we're doing it in style.
For the first time all afternoon.
Breanna laughed.
And just like that...
The emergency heartbreak meeting officially began..
