Chapter 1: I Always Die Calmly
Dying isn’t scary anymore and that’s the worst part.
Liora stared at the ceiling, her body is too weak to move, blood slowly spreading under her. It was cold. Everything was cold. But she didn’t panic.
She never does. Because she already knows what happens next.
Her fingers trembled as she reached for her journal beside her. The cover was worn out, pages slightly crumpled from being carried everywhere.
Her whole life was in there. Every life. Every mistake. Every person she promised herself not to love again.
She let out a shaky breath, her chest is hurting more than usual this time. “See you... again..” She whispered, like it was just another routine.
Because it was. Her eyes slowly closed. And just like that.. She died.
Liora gasped, sitting up so fast. Her heart was racing like crazy, like it didn’t get that this was normal already.
“I’m... alive, again..."
Her room was different. New walls. New smell. New life. But her memories? Still there. Always there.
She pressed her hand against her chest, trying to calm herself down. It’s always overwhelming at first but day by day, she'll get used to her new life. Every single memory crashing into her head like waves she can’t stop.
Different names. Different faces. Different cause of deaths. She hated this part. But she got used to it. She always does. Because she has no choice but to accept her fate.
By the time she got to school, she already fixed herself. Same strategy every life. Don’t stand out. Don’t get attached. Don’t care too much.
It makes everything easier, is it? Or.... It makes leaving easier?
Everything was fine, normal, predictable, readable, but not until she saw him.
He was just standing there near the window, sunlight hitting his face like he was some kind of main character or something. It was annoying.
But that’s not what made her stop. It was the way he was looking at her. It wasn't curiousity, interest, or even surprised. It's just... Sadness... Like really, really sad.
Her chest felt weird.
She frowned, immediately looking away and continuing to walk. Ignoring him. That’s what she always does when something feels off. But then-
“Hey.” She froze on the spot while her heart skipped a beat. No one has ever made her stop like that before.
Slowly, she turned her head. He was still there. Still looking at her like that. And then he said it. Like he didn’t even have the energy to say it anymore.
“You forgot me again… didn’t you?”
For the first time in all her lives. Liora didn’t know what to respond.
Chapter 2: You’re Not Supposed to Exist
"...What?" That was all she managed to say. Because what else was she supposed to say?
The boy didn’t react. He just stared at her like he was waiting for that exact response. Like he already knew.
“I don’t—” Liora stopped herself, her brain already going into defense mode.
“Do I know you?” The question sounded normal. But her voice wasn't. It felt… off.
The boy let out a small laugh. Not the happy kind. The kind that sounds like you’re tired of everything.
“You always ask that too.” Always. Her stomach dropped. No. No, that’s impossible.
“I remember everything,” she said quickly, almost cutting him off. “Every life. Every person. I don’t forget.” That was her only advantage. Her only control. So why-
“Except me.” He said it so casually it made her mad. “Stop saying that.” Now her voice was sharper and more defensive. She hated how this was going.
“You’re wrong. I’ve never seen you before.”
Silence.
For a second, she thought he would argue. But he didn’t. He just looked at her... softer this time. “I know.”
That made it worse.
“Then stop acting like you know me,” she snapped, turning away. “It’s weird.”
She started walking again, faster this time. Her heart wouldn’t calm down. This never happens.
Nothing ever surprises her anymore.
So why does he feel like a problem she can’t solve?
Days passed. And he didn’t disappear. That’s when it got annoying. He wasn’t following her. But he was always there.
Same hallway.
Same timing.
Same quiet stare.
Like he was just... orbiting around her.
Waiting for his momentum.
Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore.
“Can you stop?” She turned to him, frustration clear all over her face. “Stop what?” He sounded genuinely confused.
“Looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m someone you lost.” The words slipped out before she could stop them.
Silence.
His expression changed. Just a little.
But enough for her to notice. “I did.”
Her breath hitched. “…What?”
“I lost you.” He said it like it was nothing. Like it wasn’t the kind of thing that messes someone up.
“When?” she asked, almost whispering now. His eyes didn’t leave hers. “Every time.”
Something inside her chest hurt. And she hated it. Because she didn’t know why.
Chapter 3: Something Is Missing and I Hate It
Liora couldn’t sleep. Again. She was staring at the ceiling, eyes wide open, like if she blinked something would disappear. Or maybe... come back.
Her chest felt tight. Not painful, just… heavy. Like something was sitting there that didn’t belong. And she hated it.
She sat up, grabbing her journal from the bedside table. “If something feels wrong, write it down.” Her own rule. Her only rule.
She flipped through the pages quickly. Names. Events. Warnings written in different inks, different handwriting styles from different lives. Everything was organized. Everything made sense.
Except- Him.
Her hands stopped. There wasn’t a single mention of him. Not even a hint. Not even a mistake. It was like he didn’t exist at all. “…No.” Her grip tightened.
“That’s not possible.”
She flipped faster this time, almost aggressively. Page after page, scanning like she might’ve missed something. But she didn’t. There was nothing.
And that scared her more than anything.
Because Liora doesn’t forget. She never forgets. So why does it feel like she did?
The next day, she avoided him. Or at least, she tried. But of course-
“Running away now?” His voice echoed right behind her. She froze for a second before turning around slowly, forcing herself to look normal.
“I’m not running. I just don’t want to talk to you.”
“Same thing.”
“No, it’s not.”
He tilted his head slightly, studying her like she was something complicated.
“You didn’t write about me, did you?”
Her heart dropped.
“…What?”
“In your journal,” he continued casually. “I’m not there.” Her fingers twitched. “How do you know about that?”
He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he smiled a little. Sad again.
“I’ve seen you write in it before.”
Before. That word again. Always those words.
“Stop talking like that,” she snapped. “Like you’ve known me forever.”
“I have.”
“Then prove it.”
The challenge came out without thinking.
For a moment, she thought he wouldn’t say anything. But then-
“You hate loud places,” he started.
Her breath hitched. “You pretend you don’t care about people, but you always help them anyway.”
Her chest tightened.
“You always sit near the window. You say it helps you feel like you can leave anytime.” Her hands started shaking. “And when you’re about to die-”
“Stop.” Her voice cracked. She didn’t mean for it to. But it did.
“—you always say ‘See you again,’ like it’s a joke.”
Suffocating silence.
Liora couldn’t move. Because everything he said- Was true.
“How do you know that?” she whispered.
He looked at her like this was the part that hurt the most. “Because you told me.”
Chapter 4: Don’t Look at Me Like That
Liora didn’t talk to him after that. She couldn't. Because if she did, she might believe him. And if she believes him, Everything she knows falls apart.
But avoiding him didn’t fix anything. It made it worse. Because now, she was thinking about him all the time. And that’s dangerous.
“You’re distracted.” Her friend’s voice snapped her out of it. Liora blinked "... What?”
“I said you’ve been quiet all day.”
“I’m always quiet.”
“Not like this.”
Liora didn’t respond. Because she was right. This was different. This felt like... Losing control.
Later that day, she found him again. Or maybe... He found her. He was sitting alone this time, headphones around his neck, staring at nothing.
For a second, she almost walked away. But her feet didn’t listen. “…Why do you keep doing that?” she asked. He looked up. “Doing what?”
“Acting like you know me.” He didn’t answer right away. Then- “Because I do.” She clenched her jaw. “No. You don’t. You just say things. Anyone could guess those.”
“Anyone doesn’t know how you died in your third life.” Her heart stopped "... What?”
“You drowned,” he said quietly. “You couldn’t swim yet, but you tried to save someone anyway.” Her vision blurred.
“You were crying, but you were laughing too. It was weird.”
“Stop—”
“You said it didn’t matter because you’d just come back.”
“Stop talking!” Her voice came out louder than she expected. People turned to look. But she didn’t care. Because this? This wasn’t normal. This wasn’t possible.
“Who are you?” she asked, her voice shaking now. “What do you want from me?”
He stood up slowly. And for the first time... He looked angry. Not at her. At something else.
“I want you to remember me.”
Silence.
Her chest tightened again. “That’s not my problem.” The words felt wrong the moment she said them. But she didn’t take them back.
“I didn’t choose to forget you.” He laughed softly. But it sounded… broken.
“You did.” Her breath caught. “What?”
“You chose this,” he said, stepping closer. “You chose to forget me. Every time.” Her head started hurting.
“No, I didn’t—”
“You begged for it.”
Her vision spun. “Stop lying-”
“I was there.” His voice dropped. Quieter now it was more painful. “You were crying. You said you couldn’t do it anymore.”
Her chest hurt. Actually hurt. “You said loving me was the only thing you couldn’t survive.”
Silence. Everything went quiet. Too quiet that Liora couldn’t breathe. Because something inside her... Was breaking.
“I don’t remember that,” she whispered.
“I know.” He smiled. But it didn’t reach his eyes. “That’s the point.”
And for the first time since she started living again and again. Liora wished she could forget everything.
Chapter 5: I Chose to Forget You
Liora couldn’t breathe. Not because she was dying. But because for the first time.. She didn’t understand her own life.
“You’re lying…” she whispered, but it didn’t sound convincing. Not even to herself. The boy, Auren... Just looked at her like he was too tired to argue anymore.
“I wish I was.”
Silence fell between them again.
That night, Liora didn’t write in her journal. She didn’t open it. Didn’t touch it. Because for the first time...
She was scared of what she might find. Or worse... What she already lost.
Instead, she sat on the floor, back against her bed, staring at nothing.
Thinking. Trying to remember.
“Why would I forget you...?” she murmured. Her chest tightened again. That same ache. That same feeling like something important was missing.
Then- A headache. Sharp and Sudden.
“Ah-” She grabbed her head, breathing uneven. Images. Flashes. Voices. Not clear, but there. Like broken glass in her mind.
Rain. She saw rain. A hand holding hers it was warm and tight. Like it didn’t want to let go. “Don’t go.” A voice, his voice.
“I can’t do this anymore…” Her voice is shaking as she cries.
Liora’s eyes widened. “No... no-” More memories forced their way in. Faster and harder now.
Auren smiling.
Auren laughing.
Auren dying.
Over and over.
Different lives.
Different endings.
Same pain.
“I remember-” She gasped, tears suddenly falling without warning. “I remember him!” She was on her knees now, hands gripping the floor. Her whole body shaking. Because it wasn’t just memories. It was feelings.
“I loved you...” Her voice broke completely. Across from her... Auren froze. “...Yeah,” he said softly. “You did.”
She looked up at him, tears blurring her vision. “I watched you die...” Her chest felt like it was being crushed. “Again.. and again... and again...” Her voice cracked harder each time.
“I couldn’t save you-”
“I know.”
“I tried everything-”
“I know.”
“I-”
Her words stopped. Because she remembered the rest. The worst part. “I chose to forget you...”
Silence.
Auren didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Because there was nothing left to say.
“I chose it,” she repeated, her voice empty now. “Because loving you was killing me.” Tears kept falling. “I couldn’t survive it.”
Auren smiled. It was soft... But broken. “I know.”
Silence again. But this time... It felt like the end.
Liora wiped her tears slowly, trying to steady her breathing. But it wasn’t working. Because now she remembered everything. And it hurt. So much more than she thought.
“I don’t want to forget you again.” Her voice was quiet. But sure. Auren’s expression changed slightly. “Then don’t. It’s not that simple. It never was.”
She let out a small, shaky laugh.
“Yeah... I guess not.”
Another silence. But softer this time.
“What happens now?” she asked. Auren looked at her. Really looked at her. Like he was memorizing her again. Just in case. “You decide.”
Her grip tightened slightly. Because she already knew her choices. And she hated both.
If she keeps her memories... She keeps the pain. Every life. Every death. Every time she loses him.
If she forgets again... She gets peace. But loses him. Again.
Liora closed her eyes. Tears slipping down quietly. “... I’m tired.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want to go through that again.”
“... I know.”
Her chest ached. Her whole existence felt heavy. So she made a choice. Again. When she opened her eyes, they were calm, empty, and resolved.
“I’m sorry.” Auren froze. “... Liora.”
She smiled at him. It was soft and sad, but familiar to him.
“See you again.”
And just like that... Everything reset.
Epilogue: Like Always
Liora woke up gasping for air. Air rushed in. Her heart raced. New room. New life. Same beginning.
Memories flooded in. Names. Places she have been to. Lives. Everything.
Everything except-
She walked through the school hallway, calm as ever. Then- She passed by someone. A boy, standing by the window.
For a second... She paused. Her chest felt... weird. But she ignored it. Like always.
“Hey.” She froze. Slowly, she turned. He looked at her
Same eyes.
Same sadness.
Same everything.
And then he smiled. Just a little. “You forgot me again… didn’t you?” Liora frowned slightly. “…Do I know you?”
Auren’s smile didn’t disappear. Even if it hurt. “Not yet.”
And the cycle... Continued.