I didn’t mean to notice you.
You were just… there.
Sitting at the back of the classroom,
headphones on, not talking to anyone. While everyone else laughed and shouted, you looked like you didn’t belong in our world.
And somehow… that made me look at you more.
“Why do you keep staring at me?”
Your voice startled me.
I didn’t even realize you had walked up to my desk.
“I’m not staring,” I lied.
You tilted your head, eyes sharp, like you could see through everything.
“Liar.”
After that day, you kept appearing beside me.
Not close enough to call it friendship…
But not far enough to ignore.
You’d sit next to me during lunch.
Walk behind me after school.
Sometimes, I’d catch you already looking at me.
It was strange.
But I didn’t hate it.
“Do you like me?”
I asked it as a joke.
At least… that’s what I told myself.
You didn’t laugh.
“Yes.”
Just one word.
Simple.
Terrifying.
I should’ve walked away.
I should’ve said no.
But instead, I stayed.
Days turned into weeks.
You weren’t sweet.
You weren’t gentle.
You weren’t even normal.
But you were… real.
When you looked at me, it felt like I was the only person alive.
And I think that’s when I started falling.
“You’re mine.”
You said it casually one afternoon, like it was nothing.
I laughed nervously. “You don’t own me.”
You smiled.
“I don’t need to. You’ll stay anyway.”
And you were right.
I stayed.
Even when my friends warned me.
Even when things started to feel… wrong.
Like how you hated when I talked to others.
Or how your grip on my wrist was always just a little too tight.
“Why are you like this?” I whispered one night.
You looked at me, eyes soft for once.
“Because I love you.”
That word.
Love.
It didn’t feel warm coming from you.
It felt like a cage.
The breaking point came when I tried to leave.
“I think… we should stop.”
Silence.
Then—
“No.”
Your voice wasn’t loud.
But it was cold.
Terrifyingly calm.
“You don’t get to leave me.”
My heart started pounding.
“This isn’t healthy—”
“I don’t care.”
You stepped closer.
“If you leave… I’ll break.”
I thought you meant emotionally.
I was wrong.
The next day, you didn’t come to school.
Or the next.
Or the next.
Until I heard the news.
An accident.
Self-inflicted.
And suddenly… I couldn’t breathe.
At your funeral, everyone cried.
But I just stood there.
Frozen.
Because the last thing you told me kept repeating in my head—
“If you leave… I’ll break.”
And now I realize…
You didn’t lie.
But neither did I.
Because even now…
I still haven’t left you.
