Episode 1
Hi, welcome to my page.
Before you start reading, I just want to say one small thing. English is not my native language, so if I make mistakes in grammar or vocabulary, please try to understand. I hope you will focus more on the story and the feelings behind it.
This is an incident from my teenage years-the time when I first started using social media.
But this episode is not really about social media.
It is about how a single phase of life can slowly change a person from the inside.
And for me, that phase was Class 10th.
Even today, when I think about that year, it feels like a nightmare I still cannot wake up from.
Before Class 10th, my life was simple and peaceful.
I did not know much about social media platforms. The only apps I used were YouTube and WhatsApp.
I knew about other platforms like Instagram and Facebook, but many of my friends and family members used to say that those platforms were not safe. Because of that, I avoided them.
My daily routine was simple.
I watched videos on YouTube, talked with my friends on WhatsApp, and lived a normal life.
Everything was going well.
Until I entered Class 10th.
That was the time when everything slowly started changing.
It began with my Class 9 results. My grades were not good, and after that, the way teachers looked at me started changing.
Sometimes in class, I would hear things like:
"You are getting worse day by day."
"You are not focusing on studies."
"You care more about friends than your future."
These were just some basic lines I heard almost every day. There were many other harsh comments too.
At first, those words hurt me a lot. But slowly, I tried to ignore them and focus on improving myself.
However, something happened that hurt me even more.
I started losing my friends.
The same friends with whom I used to share everything suddenly started maintaining distance from me. The reason they gave was simple: since I was not performing well in academics, they thought it might affect their studies if they stayed close to me.
Even today, when I think about that moment, I feel confused.
Was their reason really justified?
Maybe they thought they were doing the right thing. But I still feel that they could have at least talked to me instead of leaving me alone.
Because losing them made everything much harder for me.
At school, I felt judged.
And at home, I felt unheard.
My siblings were either much younger than me or much older. Still, I tried to talk to my older siblings and share what I was feeling.
But most of the time, the response I got was:
"Don't disturb us."
"Stop talking nonsense."
Those words might have sounded normal to them.
But for me, they made the silence even louder.
That was the time when I truly started feeling lonely.
At first, it was just a strange emptiness. But slowly, that loneliness began affecting me deeply. I started feeling like there was no one who could understand me.
I began hating myself.
Small things started making me angry. I became frustrated easily and slowly turned into a person I was not before.
Looking back now, I understand that I was going through many emotional changes at that age. Being an extrovert, I always needed people to talk to. When suddenly everyone started disappearing from my life, I didn't know how to handle it.
And I have always been someone who struggles with sudden changes.
Because of all these things combined, my mental state kept getting worse.
Sometimes the pain inside me became so heavy that I started hurting myself. There were even moments when I felt like ending everything.
Those were the darkest days of my life.
Slowly, the loneliness and anger changed my personality.
I started becoming toxic without even realizing it.
I would get angry over small things, and because of that, people around me started disliking me even more.
It felt like I was trapped in a cycle I could not escape.
And right in the middle of that phase, something happened.
I discovered a social media platform that I had never used before..
At that time, I did not know that joining that platform would change my life completely.
After that incident, I felt like the innocent version of me had disappeared forever..
Even today, when I think about it, it still feels like a nightmare.
In the next episode, I will share the incident related to that social media platform that changed everything.
If you liked reading this, please let me know.
Your support will give me the courage to talk about those memories that I actually want to forget but also want to move on from.
Thanks for reading ๐
