I don’t remember the exact moment I fell in love with you.
I only remember the moment I realized I already was.
It was the day I caught myself saving things just to tell you later. A joke. A song. A thought. And then I remembered—I wasn’t your person. I was just someone you talked to.
I learned to love you in silence.
Every time you smiled at me, I wondered if you had any idea what it did to my heart. Probably not. You were always kind. That was the problem. You treated me the same way you treated everyone else, and I kept mistaking that kindness for something more.
When you talked about your dreams, I listened like they were my own. When you talked about your fears, I memorized them. I knew which messages to reply to immediately and which ones to pretend I hadn’t seen, just so I wouldn’t seem too eager.
I laughed when you laughed.
I hid when it hurt.
Sometimes you’d tell me about her.
You’d say her name so casually, and I’d feel it echo in places inside me I didn’t know existed. I’d nod, ask questions, give advice—while quietly breaking in ways no one could see.
You once asked me why I never talk about my love life.
I wanted to say, because I’m talking to it right now.
But I didn’t.
I loved you in the smallest ways. In remembering how you take your coffee. In noticing when you’re not okay even when you say you are. In choosing words carefully so I wouldn’t accidentally reveal too much.
Loving you felt like standing in the rain without an umbrella—beautiful at first, but slowly exhausting.
The hardest part wasn’t that you didn’t love me back.
It was that you trusted me with your heart, not knowing mine was already yours.
The day you told me you were happy with someone else, I smiled. A real one. Because I wanted your happiness more than I wanted my confession.
That night, I finally admitted the truth—to myself.
I loved you.
I loved you quietly.
I loved you alone.
And now I’m learning how to let you go without hating myself for loving you in the first place.
Because even if you never knew…
I loved you honestly.
And I think that counts for something.
