There's a time in someone's life when they think about all kinds of things. And most of it leads to... Freedom.
The freedom of becoming your own self, something better, and mostly, living with no regret and peace with your past. A freedom where you can be and do whatever you want. Who you want to be, and with whom you want to do it.
But that doesn't happen to me.
My freedom is nonexistent since the second my mother gave birth to me. I am forever the daughter who was cursed by my family... For simply being... A girl.
With who I should be, what things I should learn, and how I should act, where I should stand and when I should speak. From head to toe, they observe and obsess over it to be perfect. Despite the hatred and obsession, they never once abandoned me. And that's more than enough.
The family laughter echoes around the room, with their stomach full. They were not celebrating anything; it was just another day of chaos and cheerfulness from the brothers.
I didn't speak once or react to any of their jokes. I quietly filled my mouth with the food, while observing my surroundings.
At this long table, my three brothers sat near my father, who would rather amuse himself with their adventurous lives. They talked about their 'men' things only to themselves, while leaving the others to be silent.
My father, the Duke of McWilson's house, is well known for being the smart man who knows how to make his wife obedient, and has sons who are strong, 'gentleman' and with a brain like his. No one in this country tries to acknowledge that maybe... Just maybe... My mother and I were abused.
I sat far away from them, close to my mother. She doesn't like me, but she never expresses her loathing. Looking at me with an empty gaze, yet there's not a single hint of me in her eyes. Something that can say I'm worthy of her love, her affection, and her warmth. Nothing. Other than I'm no one's daughter in this house.
Just like me, she didn't say anything at all, or she was brave enough to look up and meet my father's eyes.
She played with her food, and she took pieces by pieces until they were small before she ate them. The same routine I watched growing up, being beside her despite her coldness toward me, her own daughter.
I don't think I ever see her talking with my father unless it is necessary. She speaks when my father allows her to, and is silent when my father asks her to.
As if... She was his puppet. Someone he controls whatever he likes.
Perhaps we did share something in common.
A woman. The 'naive', 'innocent', know nothing but embroidery and instruments to please men... Kind of women.
Maybe we're too similar... And that might be the reason why she didn't... Want to look at me.
I am the reminder of the life that was ruined both physically and emotionally by my father.
I am her.
"Aveline.”
I looked up to see my father, who, for the first time, was calling me. He was smiling rather suspiciously, and his eyes didn't waver from me.
Everyone turned their head to look at me clearly, wanting to know why my father was calling for my name all of a sudden.
I hesitated for a second before I opened my mouth, "Yes, father?"
In my brain, countless scenarios of what my father will say to me haunt me. Is he going to abandon me? Is he selling me somewhere? Does my presence disgust him so that he wants me to leave this house? Did I do something wrong?
I tried to think of anything possible. Maybe because I failed to understand how the piano works, or the time when I don't understand a word of how to embroider. Or the time I sneakily went outside to attend the festival that was held in the town two weeks ago.
Shit, if that was the case, I'm screwed. I did take so long to come back home, and their suspicion was probably aroused when I was gone.
"Someone had asked for your hand in marriage." My father said bluntly.
Everyone gasped in surprise.
"Pardon me, father but marriage... You said?" I replied back with surprise. I cannot hide my shock despite how I did my best.
"Apparently, you have caught someone's eye from overseas." My father continues, his eyes busy cutting the steak. "The Queen was delighted, you see. Her nephew has been alone for quite a long time; it is time for him to settle down."
Someone from where? Overseas? Which part?
My brain tries to scratch every surface, any man that I have interacted with when I'm going to the ball this season. Which is... None. I did not interact, nor did I dance with them. Hell, I don't have the face that someone loves to look at.
The Queen was delighted, it's crazy too. I don't have anything worth being her nephew's wife. Yes, I know embroidery, which took me so long to understand how to do. Yes, I love playing any kind of instrument. Including violin and piano. Yes, I love reading. Yes, I know how to paint. Yes, I know every kind of thing women should know if they want to become someone's wife.
But the Queen's nephew? I don't think I'm that worthy.
"May I know who this nephew is, Father?" Thomas asked, showing his discomfort.
Thomas, the weird 2nd child. I said weird because he is weird. Or a perfect word, a creepy pervert man. He's obsessed with me out of all the women in this kingdom.
He said, I'm pretty and gorgeous. I thought he really loved me as his sister, but after learning he doesn't think that way about me, I immediately ignored him at every chance I could. I cannot bear the thought of my own blood brother thinking of me this way. His handsome face fools everyone, every woman he interacts with, even my own father.
Because unlike the other brothers, he's the perfect son for my father.
And now my father brought up the topic of marriage, and he almost showed his true colours.
My father raised his eyebrows, noticed his sudden change of emotions, "Well, if you are curious, the nephew is the crown prince from the East. His name is Mo Yuan. He's Asian." He said, calmly.
"The East?" Eric murmured. "Ah, is that the man whom the Queen introduced at the ball last season?"
My father nodded with a smile.
Derrick scoffed, "Well, he sure is blind. What does he see in our little sister here?"
I almost wanted to choke Derrick right now.
Derrick and Eric are twins. But they have completely different personalities in some way. They're smart, handsome, but Derrick is hot-tempered, while Eric is a patient person. I rarely saw him yell or be rude to anyone. Compared to Derrick, he's a complete saint.
That doesn't erase the fact that they don't acknowledge me much at this house. At the end of the day, they are still my father's sons.
My gaze turned to look at my mom. Like usual, she didn't say anything but she stopped eating. Her expression changed, as if she were afraid. Afraid of something.
My eyebrow furrowed in confusion. Why did my mother look so afraid? What kind of fear was she having for her to react this way?
For the first time, her eyes looked straight upon me. Tears formed in her eyes, but she couldn't say anything. Because father is here.
Her hands trembled, and she lost her focus.
But my father didn't notice my mother's fears. He continues talking about what happened.
And I cannot bring myself to ask what's wrong.
-
I was having my time in the backyard when Rose, my personal maid, came running to me with the happiest smile ever.
Confused, I asked, "What's wrong, love? Something happened?" There must be some gossip around if she acted like this.
"Lady Aveline," She panted. "A gentleman is waiting for you in the living room. A really handsome gentleman, he looks foreign, must be your fiancée!" She said excitedly.
I got up frantically from my seat. Shit, how come no one told me about it? Why didn't my father tell me that he would be here?
I ran into my mansion, together with Rose. Her joyful expression cannot be compared with my nervous look. By the time I arrived, I heard my father's voice echo around the room. He was talking with someone, and that must be the prince! Prince Mo Yuan. A foreign man I did not expect.
I walked inside, nervously. My father notices my presence immediately.
I bowed, "Good evening, father... And..." I looked at him. "... Your Highness."
My father smiled with pride. "This is my daughter, your Highness. Her name is–"
"Lady Aveline." Mo Yuan said. "I know her name. We talked once."
We did? I raised my eyebrow. When? Where? I don't think I talked with anyone last season.
My father quickly laughed at his words. "Oh, I didn't know about that." He cleared his throat. "And I'll leave you both to it then."
And then, he left. Mo Yuan looked at Rose, expecting her to leave too.
I quickly intervened, "It's not appropriate for a non-married woman to be alone with another man." I said. "I hope you don't mind having my maid around when we had our conversation."
Mo Yuan nodded in understanding and didn't say anything to Rose. I let out a sigh of relief.
It's not like I can't ask Rose to leave us, but I don't like being alone with a stranger.
I sat down in front of him. I can't help but fidget with my fingers.
"I apologise for the sudden meeting, Lady Aveline." He smiled. "The Queen, my aunt, she's too excited when I expressed my... Wish... To marry you. And asked me to meet you... To talk about our engagement."
He wishes to marry me? Wait, so, it's not the queen who suggested it, but he's the one who wants this marriage?????????????????
"Your Highness, may I ask you something?"
He nodded.
I bit my lower lip, before asking, "You said we talked once.... But I cannot quite remember when we met exactly. Can you enlighten– no, um... When did we meet?"
Mo Yuan thought for a while, "Um, I don't remember the exact date, but I'm sure it was the day my aunt brought me together with her at the ball. I think it was last year."
The last season ball.
The last season ball...? I talked with someone...?
How come I never remember talking with Mo Yuan?
And then I remembered the day at the ball where I was so drunk (I was heartbroken when none of the men wanted to dance with me), that I almost passed out at someone's garden. And unexpectedly met someone that night who I don't remember who is that person.
And I talked quite a lot, I think I even argued with that person.
Well, now I know who it is. And it's embarrassing.
Oh, Aveline, what have you done?
"Your Highness, about that night, I apologise for everything that I said to you. I didn't mean anything that I said. I was–"
"Drunk? I know." He said. "I didn't take offence to your words."
"Really?" I asked, hopefully.
Mo Yuan's lips curved into a smile, "But you are the reason I learned... This language."
Oh shit, did I say anything about it?
He noticed my panicked expressions and quickly brushed my overthinking mind, "You didn't say anything hurtful. It's just that... You were talkative, and I couldn't understand a word you said."
Mo Yuan started to get shy and his face turned red each second.
"I wished to understand you better, so I learned."
Oh...
My heart skips a beat. I wanted to scream.
He learned a whole new language just so he could understand me better.
I... I never have anyone putting effort into loving me.
Our eyes caught. Those few seconds has managed to let his heart sink deeper inside me and his unwavering gaze took my breath away. I can feel my face burning with nervouness.
"And that night must be the day I started falling in love with you." He said.
