To someone,
Do you miss me? I don't know... Sometimes I think about you or us. I don't know why I can't focus but that doesn't matters.
My habits doesn't help me either. It reminds me of you every night and morning. I am confused about myself.
I thought I was confident,self centered girl who unconsciously only thinks about herself. But no I'm just a insecure girl who hates herself more than anyone else.
People says I'm a good person (Infront of me ofc) but really am I a good person? I don't know. I know myself better than anyone else. A part of me can't tolerate my ownself. It's always feels like fighting with myself before doing something.
I tried to ignore my inner self way too long. But I never realised it's the reason I feel so overwhelmed. I always feel like I don't deserve praise, love,care, anything good. I always hide myself. At some point I lost myself.
It made me do wrong things... maybe? I hurt someone. Whenever I feel like they're becoming precious to me I ended up pushing them away because I feel I should leave before they try to leave me first. I'm weird.
Everyday unconsciously I ended thinking about past days. I don't hate 2025 because it gave me some beautiful memories but I don't love 2025 either because it took away those too. I learnt lots of lessons.
I try to tell myself everything will be okay but will it be okay ever again? No it won't be.
