"I don't know if my god is He or She, but I imagine my god as a pure soul. I've always wondered if it's right to worship my god, since everyone wants god to fulfill their own needs. But what's my need? I don't know. I just wanted to talk to someone who's more honest than others.
It's true that my god has always carried my painful sorrows, but sometimes I feel like it's getting tired of carrying them. It's so heavy that my god's shoulders ache. Slowly, my god's ability to cope is decreasing, and I know one day it will be gone completely.
I'm not sad, but I'm more embarrassed than sad. Because I've paid a price to worship my god – it's been very expensive, but I've managed. I've fought for it. In a world where people want god to cater to their needs, I'm different – so I fight.
In return, I get nothing except my god's distant behavior. I have to fix it, right? I have to. I've tried many things to stop myself from folding my hands in worship. Yes, it's a tough situation, but I've done it. My worship has been decreasing day by day – slowly but smoothly."
