Someone rang the doorbell, I knew who it was, Dan, I was expecting him because we have project together. The last time he probably came to my house was in 7th grade, back when it was rumored that he had a crush on me.
But now... He's one of those memories you have when you're young. If in movies first love is romantic, in reality, first love is mostly an embarrassing memories we all had, those type of memories that made you lose your appetite because it suddenly came rushing back out of nowhere.
"So. Uhm... Where do we start?" He asked. I looked at him then to my notebook. My mind is blank... Usually I get things done well. Oh... It's because I'm not alone.
"I'm thinking of... Researching some of the names yea?" I said, his eyes shines with approvement. He's like a golden retriever...
"Okay, I'll do the searching and you do the notes okay?" I said. He nodded. The edge of my lips twitched.
An hour passed, it was already done, I'm quite surprised. Though it probably only worked because he's easy to be with. You didn't have to adjust your personality for him, he just had that respect naturally... Or is it because I've been with him too? That things just flows naturally?
"It's still really early... I didn't expect we would finish this fast." He said, he runs a hand through his brown hair. I immediately torn my eyes away, was I staring?
"Yeah..." I said casually, my eyes landing at the TV. "Why don't we play a game huh? Just like—" Nope, you can't say that.
"Like old times? Sure." Then he saved it like that. I looked at him, expecting to see anything, something that shows uncomfortable stuff because of bringing up the cringe past, but I found none. Ladies and gentlemen, I once dated this guy... This guy who's probably in every girls dream.
We ended up playing, not gonna lie, I had really fun. Like the type of fun that makes you feel lonely at the same time. Because you realized how much you're missing a moment like this because life doesn't give it to you.
Dan is so easy to be with. I have a lot of experience with people, and people are always hard to deal with, too much that after a one merely conversation with them, your head would burn from exhaustion. Because it requires tons of pretending and trying to give a good impression the whole time, and when it stopped, you finally could breathe again.
But Dan, he's one of those people that have natural easygoing atmosphere with them, it's like they're a breathe of fresh air. He doesn't make you feel likw you need to be better. In fact he's personality pull the real you naturally.
"Damnit! I forgot you're good at gaming..." I groaned. I always picture him as someone who suck at gaming, but that's because my mind probably erased that memory of him always defeating me in games without mercy.
"Nah, you're just mid..." He chuckeled. I scoffed kicking his leg, he let out a weak laugh.
"So..." He trailed off, his eyes looking directly to mine. I had to internally grab the air that almost escaped my throat.
"What do you think about us dating again?" It wasn't that shocking he said that. Still... I'm a bit stunned.
But why it's not supposed to be that shocking?
Dan said it himself, when we were in a relationship, he told me that he had liked me ever since kindergarten. He was so close to being obsessed... If I hadn't had a real feelings I would've been creeped out not gonna lie.
So when I ghosted him, again I was immature and only 14, plus inexperienced...
I thought he'd stopped trying or hate me even. But no... He literally reached out for about a year, I stopped for a year in highschool... And that whole year he had been reaching out, but I had to leave my town, and since I blocked him, there was no way he could've reached out anymore. I came back in 9th gr and he's a grade higher. Our schedule was the complete opposite, that's why he couldn't reach out either.
In the back of my mind. I knew... Maybe for him it wasn't a puppy love. Because it ended in a... Very dramatic way. In a way where that memory burned deep inside me, where he truly actually loved me, while I was being only childish, confused, still finding out this whole relationship thingy. It's like a one sided kind of thing.
And I feel like an asshole.
"I can't." The same reply... Man I haven't change neither.
"Why not?" He asked, his face stern.
"I knew it... You're mad." I said.
"Of course I am... You literally ghosted me..." He said, he looked away, his jaw clenching. "I miss you... So bad."
There he goes...
With him, my life felt like a fantasy all of the sudden. Because he turns my boring life into something else.
