What if your sister?

its...my story yes..mine

I'm yunlin a teenager I was just a kid just a kid I don't know where to start I messed up it was my fault and now..there is no way out.. Except One thing..we all know what it is and I?I want to live till eternity not because I have a lot of things to do but just because I want to grow harsh rude and cruel why? You'll know For now I don't know where to go I don't have anyone , anything to protect myself..I'm so done...So lost..I don't even know whom to share this might be the last msg maybe? Because things are quite complicated...I did everything to protect myself protect my respect my image but I couldn't I lost it all things Happened that I can't even tell this will get deleted maybe..Start from the day it was maybe noom maybe morning me and my friends were talking when someone approached us a friend of my classmates...soon I we both became friends I should've seen that coming I was so lost so innocent to see the cruelty of this world and later on through forceful events I'm here half rotten I don't even know anymore they all hate me its all because of him my siblings don't talk to me anymore like they used to all because of him my friends are distant and cold and ignorant towards me all because of him a woman's respect and privacy is gone leaked in those links and apps all because of him my eyes are dull all because of him my pain is eternal etched in my every breath and will stay with me till I finally di! All because of him my fear is uncontrollable all because of him my anxiety is getting worse all because of him my panic attacks and fevers are getting severe all because of him and I? What the hel! Is left in me? Nothing...I don't even know where to turn I'm lost trying to find words but my mouth is so broken shattered into pieces my voice is cracking cause I...I feel eyes no matter where I go I feel them everywhere I know he is stalking me maybe will do that forever I know I can't escape so...So I don't know what to do...I'm so sorry...sorry towards my parents I can't do th!s please...I don't know how much but this child was always a burden a sinful heart and a unforgettable trauma that moves with me no matter where I go there should be a escape right!? There must be an escape! THERE FUCING SHOULD BE!but no...Because the escape is even worse It won't work but make the rest of my life a hell so Now I only have three options left....get yourself controlled let him stalk you let him interfere in your life forever..because that's it He ruined my name everywhere and now? Funny now I can't even confess to someone because right I know he will destroy it too..I can't make relationships with anyone because right?! Right he will destroy them but Oh god don't be so cruel don't let him win I pray with a heart so vulnerable but the evil always win that's written in the history so I want to become one...Please god for now protect me don't take my dear life away I want to live with happiness but no My life its always gonna get worse I don't know where's the light its lost in oceans I want to cry my heart out but I don't really have anyone to share they all judge me from bottom to down I don't know where to start this shi is so messed up and now? now I don't even know what I'm trying to say Why I'm writing this..This might be the solution...hoping things would settle on their own I mean...But What else I'm supposed to do I don't know what to do anymore...And Even I know if he will come back now I will give up..give up on li!!... that's the only solution left...for my immerse pain...So dear lovely girls out there make sure you don't trust someone you know because the life its cruel in its own ways it will make it harsh and even harsher for you to live...I crave affection,love, Attention but in the end I will always choose isolation,silence,because life taught me one thing that's YOU ARE NOT MADE TO LOVE BUT TO TOLERATE TILL THE VERY END and its okay I won't entertain the demons anymore if it will get worse because I pray...that take my li!e away instead of making me go through that again Because I would rather stay in prison forever for the sin I never did than to going through that shi again because I would rather caught a disease and disappear that to be controlled again...But its okay cuz its never going to get better its going to be the same always I will always be your prey hiding from your devilish smile and demonic hopes but yet the god listens to you maybe I'm the wrong one here tired of fighting I wanna giv3 up at this point so one day I will disappear

And no one will know where I'm

No one will remember me

And humans will may continue to live in greed

Life in all forms will be trying their best to live

And My pictures will be only remembered by my diary but tell me who I'm? I'm a nobody I'm just hollow now I don't know what is left inside me anymore Just tryna live I guess ........I guess then I will be always afraid of phone calls you think you know me but I have gone through a lot I think I'm cursed this time for sure I think I'm cursed this life for sure Cursed then I will be on verge of having everything and then I will lose it all but its well said that the winner takes it all...the loser has the fall its simple and its plain why should I complain? But There is always a hope that is keeping me alive hope that nope there must be a solution a salvation a anything but not this...nobody is going to read this write so I don't know what to say anymore I'm lost maybe? Right...I thought Kanha is with me so I kept going but it seems like its not that easy..so I don't have anything else to say..I lost it all unlucky in love and destiny that's my life all I'm craving is escape... escape from him...

But sometimes really I just sit and pray hope that your sister or you go through the same but this prayer is not with my whole heart cause I'm a girl and I know what it feels to be shattered so I wouldn't want your sister to be hopeless and broken but sometimes I just think That really Was I that bad that evil that unloveable that sinful to go through those things?was it your love or obsession? Because I never knew loving comes in the forms of blackma!! And tortu!! Cuz I never knew loving is about capturing the bird and making it hell I thought

.. its rather about letting go but you proved my wrong you ALL PROVED ME WRONG THIS WORLD PROVED ME SO MUCH WRONG SO FREAK OFF YOU ALL!! SINGLE ONE OF YOU CUZ NONE OF YOU ARE INNOCENT REALLY!And may all those go through this hell who ever made someone broken and shattered You said you were the helpless one and broke into tears but you really never saw me sitting aside with depressed face and paralyzed body eyes so dull that I can't even cry anymore I'm so weak so on verge of leaving this world that I can't even look up to you