I’ve been single since forever, and honestly, I thought I was content with it but something happened this year that I didn’t expect. A little crush, unexpected and sudden, that caught me off guard. A spark that makes me want to remember this feeling forever. Here’s how it all unfolded… ❤️
I joined this project at my company as a fresher, still learning the ropes. For the first few months, I didn’t have much to do except wait for access and learn about the basics of my role. My team lead assigned me "Mathi" to help me out. He was the one who’d be guiding me through the process. At first, our interactions were strictly professional and virtual—mostly work-related stuff. Mathi didn’t even have a profile picture anywhere, so I had no clue how he looked. I didn’t expect to have any emotional attachment, to be honest.
Then, in mid-December, everything changed. I heard from a colleague that Mathi would be coming to the office, and I remember being excited—just because it was the first time I’d meet him in person.
It was 17th December when he walked into the office. I was already there, doing my usual morning routine when he arrived in the afternoon for his shift. He walked in, and I didn’t notice him at first, but when he called my name, my heart literally skipped a beat. There he was—tall, even more handsome than I expected, and his voice? Deep and soothing, with an English accent that I swear sent chills down my spine.
And then came the first awkward moment. During lunch with the team, we barely talked. And when I tried to catch his attention, he didn’t even look at my face while talking. It bothered me, and I couldn’t ignore it. The second time we spoke, he still wasn’t paying me any attention, which made me angry. I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, so I snapped, saying—“If you’re talking to me, look at my face.”
I wasn’t proud of it, but it was the first time I felt like I had to say something. And after that, I felt a strange mix of embarrassment and relief. That was the moment I realized that, for the first time in a long time, I was feeling something real—anxiety, excitement, and frustration all wrapped into one.
But then something unexpected happened. 18th December came, and Mathi invited me to dinner with a couple of other colleagues. At first, I hesitated. I didn’t want to go, not because I didn’t want to spend time with him, but because it felt like an afterthought—he only invited me because I was there when they discussed it.
But then he said something that threw me off guard: “I won’t come again.”
That threw me into confusion. He then mentioned that he was resigning from the company soon, and only had two weeks left. I couldn’t help but feel like this was the last chance to spend time with him, so I agreed to go.
At dinner, I was a little tipsy from just one beer (I swear I’m not a lightweight), but the courage it gave me made me say things I wouldn’t have said otherwise. I told Mathi—“You’re handsome. You should try modeling. Your accent is amazing.” I couldn’t stop myself. I felt like, at last, I was able to express everything I had bottled up since meeting him.
But even though I was drunk, I didn’t regret it. I told him everything I was feeling, and it felt good to finally express those emotions.
That night ended, and I thought it was the last time I would see him. He resigned, left for his hometown, and we never talked again.
Then, in March, after nearly three months of silence, something crazy happened. I decided to text him.
It was the evening of 7th March when I messaged him, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. He replied, and we began our long-awaited conversation. I didn’t expect it to go anywhere beyond a casual exchange, but the night took a turn. After a few exchanges, I called him.
I wasn’t expecting to tell him everything I had bottled up in my chest, but there I was, doing it. I told him about how he made me feel when we first met. I didn’t know why I had developed these feelings for him, but I had to say it. The moment when he walked into the office that day, when he shook my hand, when my heart skipped—it all flooded back. I didn’t expect any reaction from him, but I just wanted to let him know how much he had impacted me.
His response? “I respect your courage for telling me this. Give me some time to think.”
Three days passed before he texted me back with the answer I didn’t want but somehow expected.
“I appreciate your feelings, but I don’t feel the same way romantically. I respect you, and I hope we can continue to have a good understanding.”
And that was it. I didn’t feel crushed, though. I just felt at peace, knowing that I was able to share my feelings. I didn’t regret it one bit.
I replied, telling him it was fine, that I just wanted him to know how I felt. I didn’t want anything from him, no expectations. I just wanted to acknowledge that I had experienced something truly special, even if it was fleeting.
And here I am now, looking back on that sweet little crush, knowing it was something that made me feel alive. It was the first time I felt those butterflies and had my heart skip a beat, and I’ll never forget it.
It was a story of a small crush, but one that gave me a glimpse of what it’s like to fall, even if just for a moment.
