Yuta never expected to spend his Friday night like this—standing in the middle of a brightly lit adult store, clutching a dildo in each hand like he was making the most important decision of his life.
“This one,” he said, holding up a sleek black one with a slight curve. “Or this one?” He lifted a ridiculous neon pink monstrosity that had more attachments than a Swiss army knife.
“You’re actually asking me?” His best friend, Ren, crossed his arms, unimpressed. “Yuta, why am I even here?”
“Because I need a second opinion!” Yuta hissed. “Do you know how much these cost? This is an investment!”
Ren sighed, rubbing his temple. “And you want me, a completely disinterested party, to weigh in on your dildo purchase?”
Yuta scowled. “I don’t trust my own judgment anymore. The last one I got was too small, and I ended up crying into my pillow about my poor life choices.”
Ren blinked. “That’s… a lot to unpack.”
“You’re telling me!” Yuta groaned, shaking the dildos in frustration. “I just want one that’s perfect. Not too big, not too small. Something that says, ‘Yes, Yuta, you deserve good things in life.’”
Ren stared at him, then at the dildos, and then back at him. “Okay, first of all, stop shaking them around. You look like you’re trying to cast a spell with dual-wielded dicks.”
Yuta made a strangled noise and quickly lowered them. The store clerk behind the counter stifled a laugh.
“Second,” Ren continued, exhaling like he was speaking to a child, “if you’re really going to overthink this, why don’t you just ask the person you’ll be using it with?”
Yuta stiffened. “I—uh—” He swallowed. “I don’t have… anyone.”
Ren raised an eyebrow. “Then why are you acting like this is some sacred quest? It’s just for you, right? Pick the one that makes you happiest.”
“That’s the problem, Ren! I don’t know what makes me happy!” Yuta wailed.
A deep voice interrupted. “If I may make a suggestion.”
Both of them turned to see a man standing nearby. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and absurdly attractive in the way that made Yuta’s brain short-circuit. Sharp jawline, tousled dark hair, a casual smirk that could melt hearts. He looked like he had just stepped out of a BL manga, except he was holding a very intimidatingly sized dildo.
Yuta’s face burst into flames.
“I—uh—” His mouth flapped uselessly as his brain screamed. Hot guy! Hot guy alert!
The man smirked, clearly enjoying his flustered reaction. “If you’re undecided, you should go for a silicone one with some flexibility,” he said, nodding toward the black one in Yuta’s hand. “The pink one looks fun, but unless you’re into excessive vibrations, it might be overkill.”
Yuta swallowed. “Y-you seem to know a lot about this.”
The man chuckled. “I work here.”
Ren’s eyebrows shot up. “You work here?”
“Mm-hm.” The man nodded toward his name tag. Carlisle.
Oh god. He was beautiful and had an authoritative knowledge of sex toys? Yuta was doomed.
“Th-thanks,” Yuta mumbled, gripping the black dildo like it was a lifeline.
Carlisle tilted his head. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”
Yuta made a wheezing sound. Ren slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle a laugh.
“Do you, uh… come here often?” Yuta immediately wanted to slap himself. Worst. Line. Ever.
Carlisle, to his credit, smirked wider. “Every day. It’s my job.”
Yuta wanted the ground to swallow him whole. “Right. Of course. That makes sense.”
Ren, still trying not to laugh, patted him on the shoulder. “So? Decision made?”
Yuta nodded numbly. “Yeah. This one.”
“Good choice,” Carlisle said smoothly. “Would you like me to ring it up for you?”
Yuta wasn’t sure if his heart could take much more, but somehow, he managed to follow Carlisle to the register.
As Carlisle scanned the dildo, he leaned in slightly. “Since you’re new to this, if you ever need… any guidance, feel free to ask.”
Yuta barely held back a squeak. “O-okay.”
“Or,” Carlisle added, casually sliding a small slip of paper across the counter with his number on it, “if you ever need a personal demonstration.”
Ren audibly choked on air. Yuta nearly fainted.
Carlisle winked. “Have a good night, Yuta.”
Yuta left the store gripping his purchase and Carlisle’s number, feeling like he had somehow won the lottery.
Ren shook his head as they stepped outside. “Unbelievable.”
Yuta clutched the paper to his chest, face still burning. “Ren. I think I just met my future husband.”
Ren rolled his eyes. “Sure. Just don’t name your first child after the dildo, okay?”
Yuta groaned, but he couldn’t stop grinning. Maybe, just maybe, this ridiculous shopping trip had been the best decision of his life.
