#Not poem
I never thought that tonight would be the last night i would lose my mind,unable to bear it any longer
I chose to end it,to cut the rope that tied me
I no longer felt resentful or blamed myself
3am
My phone was still on,my favorite music was still playing,my last words in the letter on the table
Screaming for release
The notification rang,the neighbor's dog barked outside but i couldn't hear it
The sound had been gone for a long time
6am
My grandmother woke up,turned on the light with bad thoughts
Unfulfilled dreams,tired of fighting
My grandmother saved money hoping to give me a gift when i turned 18 in 2 weeks
My grandmother went to open the door,the dog rushed straight in,ran to my room door
Smelled and sniffed,wanted to show my grandmother,but my grandmother didn't pay attention
7am
Everything was too quiet,only the sound of the dog scratching the door like groaning
Grandmother told the dog to stop and hesitantly opened my room door
Grandmother couldn't believe her eyes,her breath suddenly stopped,she screamed in pain
«My child,wake up!»
Grandmother tried to breathe,as if she were breathing for me,but it was too late
8am
The police had arrived,my body bag was resting
I was really dead,it wasn't a news
The music had stopped,my grandmother's heart was broken,she didn't leave my room
Grandmother opened my phone and looked
The first message came
«Are you okh?»
My friend sent it,my grandmother didn't see anything more
9am
Now my friend knew,he didn't wanna believe it
He ran to find me,in great pain
My grandmother didn't leave the room,didn't eat,didn't sleep
Why did they see it so late?
People in this world,their grandchildren,their children,me
10am
It had been a few hours,my father picked up the phone,put down his glass of wine,and tried to ask
My father felt guilty,it was just that he loved me,but it was hard to say it out loud
My father loved me,who i was
3 pm
12 o'clock had passed,i was no longer here
A thousand confused emotions,heavy on their lips
The person who bullied me,was no longer happy
Confused,guilty,that was all they felt
They couldn't forgive themselves for me being dead
Because the words they originally said to me were all shit
Not accepting the truth,they apologized a thousand times
And if there was a change,they would say to leave me here
4 pm
My grandmother and father stayed in the funeral parlor,they hadn't been close to each other for a long time,they used to not have the same thoughts,but now they were like soul mates
My grandmother stopped talking,because she was tired and had skipped meals
But the only thing my grandmother wanted was to be with me on my last day
5 pm
Everyone was home,unable to take their eyes off the room where i grew up
They didn't eat,can't sleep,missing and guilt,how much is enough
What can they do
Why am i so sad?
Do i think,they will regret a lot?
7pm
My grandmother called the place to order my gift
«My grandson is dead»
My grandmother said in the most blunt way
The world still turns,the sun and the moon still rotate in turn
But i'm no longer a burden,do i know?
8pm
My best friend also decided like me
If i were there,i would advise him to stop immediately but i didn't see
The world was silent,cold
Everyone needs sleep to erase the memories of me
I wish my pain had stopped
2am
24 hours ago i could have turned around and the letter was no longer there,the rope wasn't there,that song would no longer ring and repeat
Quiet
My room was still clean but i was no longer here,no one was there,only memories remained
3am
24 hours ago i wasn't still hurt
I wish i hadn't,but i couldn't
My grandmother didn't leave her chair,the dog kept scratching at the door just to comfort me not to be sad anymore
My friends will come soon,my father will quit drinking and get better,my bully will be better
I made a change
The trade-off was cruel,come back
They begged,begged in pain
