The hardest part of life is when you can't control your emotions anymore, and you suddenly cry and break down. I am feeling hopeless and useless. Thirteen years of education were tough for me, but I enjoyed learning. I was good at studies, I think. I could have achieved everything without studying too. How could I know my life would change when I went to high school?
It was in 2023 when I started high school. Two years of studying were much more challenging compared to the 11 years of middle school. I tried my best; I studied a lot, but I kept forgetting everything. When I was in grade 12, I came to school determined to achieve the goal I had dreamed of since childhood. I stayed attentive in class and studied back at the hostel. But it all felt like a waste of time. My friends would play and enjoy life, while I kept studying, yet their grades were better than mine. I felt upset, but I didn’t give up. I just kept believing that one day I would make it.
I even skipped meals just to study. You know, I was really interested in dancing, but I ignored it the whole year just to focus on my studies. I woke up early in the morning, around 2 am, and studied until 11:30 pm. Studying so early was tough because sometimes I would fall asleep. So, I decided to attend early study sessions at school, supervised by one of my teachers. After that, I studied a lot, and at night I would go outside to study more.
I studied a lot. I had one friend who supported me all the time and studied with me. Life hit hard when my teacher insulted me, saying that I couldn’t do anything. Our teacher demotivated me a lot when he insulted me, but I didn’t give up. I studied just to prove that I wasn’t the person he thought I was. I couldn’t help myself from crying when I heard those words. I had nothing to say, just tears. I had prepared so much for my exams, but the results weren’t what I had expected. My heart broke into pieces, and I finally realized that hard work is not always rewarded.
I was upset with my results, and when people kept asking about them, it only made things worse. Some people even insulted me, saying I wouldn’t get anywhere. They could never imagine how I was feeling at that time or how hard I had studied. Now, I am just waiting for my college application with a little hope.
Wishing a good luck🎀......
