This is a story about a man finding love and losing it in a bad way. Enough so that seeking revenge is the only solution, but will this really settle his pain, what will happen when revenge is over with and he has nothing good left to offer? Read and find out.
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I laid waiting for sleep to take me, but it did not. Running my hands down my face, I wiped at the dried tears that I hadn't had any energy wiping away as they had run for the past few minutes.
It's been a week and nothing has changed. Time was taking too slow to heal this wound, I wonder if it ever would, and if those words of comfort given, were empty.
I can't say for sure what I was feeling like. The loss of someone I didn't know in person but only on paper was a different kind of pain.
Yes perhaps our relationship was not ideal or common, but her words really helped me get through the five years I've been in prison.
I looked at the tiny bolted down table. The moon casting shadows over letters I will never be able to send. We had met as part of a penpal project. My first thoughts of this program was a waste of time. My arrogant ass finding the whole thing stupid.
I laughed humourless and nearly tore some eyelashes out from wiping away more tears. I was currently in isolation. The day's fight bringing me to be with myself. This is what I wanted, no, I needed this time to be alone.
Being a hitman, I never thought I'd ever attach myself to someone much less a woman. They were pleasure things to me in the past. This soon changed after meeting Elizabeth. Well, her letters that is.
Was I overjoyed to be writing to someone? No, I was harsh with my replies. Occasionally leaving cuss words in them.
To my surprise, an f-you, returned back a miss you. A get a life, returned a "I want you to live a new one" from her.
Nothing I ever said seemed to have any negative impact on her. Instead, I was shown a side of kindness that infuriated me rather than pleased me.
My heart was so dark that I refused to see her nature as pure. My instincts telling me that no good person existed. Especially for the likes of me.
My stomach gave a rumble, the sandwich still laying on the try near the door. I had no appetite.
I laughed when I thought of one letter in particular that had us both angry as her reply the next week was any thing but understanding. Not in a bad way, she still managed to sound endearingly sweet.
I had said:
Dear Liz, I don't know what you look like, but somehow I'm picturing a woman with large glasses and 30 cats.
She had said:
I do have glasses but those 30 cats are replaced with 40 dogs.
I had found out she volunteered at an animal shelter.
Sighing I thought of our last letter. We had so many plans. Visitations, holidays and even what we'd do once I came back out.
Her death had come sudden, I didn't know she was sick. Found out she caught a disease from a client she had back when she was an escort. Through her letters, I learnt of the intelligent woman behind her mask. I learned of the care and giving nature her life style had smothered.
My background wasn't any cleaner then hers, in fact, mine was likely worse.
She had been shy at first to tell me about that past, but my own story lead her to tears and confessions.
I won't lie. At first I judged her, like many women I paid for services. But her remorse and regret shined through every word.
Forgiveness. This was a words I counted 1000 times through her letters. She had found a new love she had said. A love that brought her inner peace. Faith had changed her for the better. I snorted unsure any God would see me as redeemable.
No matter, I was not ready for such a commitment. I laid and closed my eyes ready for sleep to take me. This time it did.
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"Jones you're ready to go." The officer said. I nodded allowing him to escort me out of prison.
It's been four years. The letters we wrote and new ones I've done religiously for the past few years after Liz death, safely stored in a bag. I nodded at the last officer we passed before the large metal gates were opened for me.
I breathed in the air that felt so different. Must be because I'm free.
"Yo Liz, I'm out. And I have your address, we'll finally meet like we always planned." I grinned up at the sky.
A taxi had been previously arranged, it was waiting with the driver waving me over.
"Hey man, welcome to the outside!" I smiled and nodded.
"Yeah man, it's a great feeling." I said.
"Bet, bet man." We both climbed inside, and drove off.
We first stopped at the graveyard, her's had fresh flowers, my own soon joining them. Funny enough, instead of crying, I just couldn't stop smiling like an idiot.
I suppose seeing her as a tomb was a relief despite the sad ending we had. I had returned to the car a few minutes later.
As we neared an old factory building, the driver told me he can only take me a certain way. He was linked to a different gang and didn't want to risk intruding on territory. I nodded and handed him the full amount, refusing the change when he insisted on giving it.
"Thanks man, bless you man. " I waved him off, turning to walk into the building.
Making my way up the floors to the final one, I opened a door, the voices hushing down when they saw me.
"Boss! " A kid cried, running up to hug me. I returned it and faced the rest. Each person had different expressions from relieved to grinning.
I smiled. And approached the oldest.
"Gramps, I need help. " Gramps was a great know it all kinda guy, could find an ant if you needed to.
"I thought you left this world behind. "
"I have one last thing to do. " I promised. He nodded and gave me the go ahead.
"Need to find a Doward Davis, a club owner. " The man's name alone brought waves of anger. The bastard was the one to give my sweet Liz that sickness.
"Cool, should have info tomorrow. " I nodded and planned to leave, but several stopped me.
"Nuh blud." Gramps said. "It's time to celebrate!" And celebrate we did.
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Waking up with a headache was not in my plans, but hey, drinking usually does that.
I heard a text message go off. Searching for my phone without getting up. I brought it to me. Blinking sleep away as I read it.
It was an address:
13 wine stress, Beddingcove, 22200.
Smirking I got up and searched under my bed. Fishing out a large suit case I opened it, feeling the cold metal of the weapon.
It's been years but I should still be able to shoot a bastard when I saw one.
Taking it out and placing in my pocket, I rushed down the stairs and out the front door.
It was raining, fitting that the day I avenge Liz would be accompanied by her favourite weather.
"No more tears liz, no more tears. " I said out loud. I managed to get a taxi to the location. Finding the empty parking lot to my liking.
Opening the black doors I walked to the empty bar.
"Sorry sir, but we open at 9pm." The bartender said.
"You can just point me to MR Davis office. " I told him.
"He's currently busy. " He looked reluctant to lie, I could tell.
"Look, just point him out, and I'll let you live. " Threatening always got them talking. Killing innocents was long ago off my to do list.
"Uh, uh sixth, no wait, uh third door on your left. " He dropped the rag he had been using to clean glasses and bolted out the door. Likely calling the cops. 15 minutes is all I needed to take care of the piece of shit.
Walking down I heard loud moans. Standing in front of the door, I could tell it was coming from the room. Bloody bastard was doing more than he should.
Kicking the door clear off it's hinges I stormed to reach the man. Throwing the naked woman off him. She hit the floor with a bang. Screaming profanities at me.
"Just who the f-" she started but shut up as soon as I pointed the gun at her. Swallowing loudly, she ran out without taking a piece of clothing with her.
"I have money, I don't know who you are, but if Tony sent you, I can pay double. " I stared at him with disgust.
"You sick, sick piece of shit! " I said. Spitting in his face.
"How many more women's lives have you ruined? " I demanded. He shook, his fat rolls jiggling at his hand movement.
"I don't understand! " He shouted. His nudity was causing bile to form. I picked up and threw his clothing at him, demanding he dress. He did so in record time.
"Elizabeth, you remember her? " I asked him. He scratched his double chin until his eyes lit up with recognition.
"The cute thing that was too nice to be a whore? " I bit my lip so hard it bled.
"You know a good person when you see one, I'll give you that compliment." I said, his smile dropping when I placed the gun at his temple.
"So why is it, that your rotten balls did not leave her alone! " I shouted, the man peeing from nerves.
"What, what are you talking about? " He stuttered.
"You made her sick, you sick piece of shit! " realizing I knew, he turned pale. His eyes darting for any way to exit. There was none. Iade sure of it.
"Now, we are going to have a good chat, and when we're done, I'll make sure you are unable to use that thing you call your manhood every again. " he shook his head, fear consuming him from what was to happen.
I smiles at him, putting my gun to the side and fishing out a scalpel.
"There is a reason I like using surgery tools." The man started sweating. I pierced his face. His screams deafening.
"They are able to cut with precision, something very useful in torture. " I said touching the top of the now bloody blade.
"Please, I know I'm bad, but I don't deserve death... " he pleaded.
"What you did was close to murder. No it was murder! " I glared at him. "You knew you were sick and didn't take the necessary precautions, oh stop looking at me like that! " I banged his large head against his desk.
"Please! I promise I won't do it again! "
"You know why I enjoy killing your kind as fast as possible? " he was unable to respond since I had the gun in his mouth.
"Because I don't want you to even have a second to land yourself in heaven because of repenting. Not one second. "
He tried saying something but I had already clocked and shot. I watched as his opened eyes started fading. And very pleasantly I extracted the weapon. Wiping the fluid off the barrel on his unbuttoned shirt.
I took out my phone and dialed doc.
"I need a cleanup, premium service. " The voice whistled on the other side.
"What you do? Blow someone's brains out? " He laughed buy fell silent when I did not say anything.
"Damn son, okay I'll call the team. Just make sure you take everything that's yours from the scene, we'll take care of the rest." I cut off the line doing as he said.
Walking out the club, I felt oddly relieved and burdened at the same time. The promise I made Liz to never kill again weighing heavily on my shoulders.
Wiping at tears I wasn't sure had formed, my lust for blood was now replaced with remorse. My hands started shaking. I was so lost in dark thoughts and asking for help from someone I wasn't sure who it could be. That I didn't feel the aged hands gripping my cleaned hands.
"Dear? Are you alright? " A kind black woman asked me. I nodded out of reflex. But my tears remained flowing.
"Can I take you somewhere? " she asked me. Looking at my unsure face, she smiled and reassured me.
"I promise the place I'll take you is one you can confess secrets and not be judged for doing so. " I slowly nodded getting the feeling I knew what that place was.
Surprisingly not reluctant, I followed. Joyous voices sang songs of worship. I stumbled. My body refusing to move but my heart wanting to continue.
"That's fear son, and unforgiveness. Things that tends to keep us from moving forward. " She said.
"I don't think I'm worthy to go in. " she takes at me.
"Son there is no such thing as being worthy or unworthy. In this game there is love as long as you repent. "
"I see. " I didn't really, but I didn't want to come off as stupid. I've been doing that for too long.
"Will I be able to go to that place? " she frowned in confusion.
"What place? " She asked.
"The place my Liz went to? " I shook my head. " I probably did too many bad things to qualify. " she shook her head.
"What place dear? " she asked me.
"Heaven." I said.
"Well it's not up to me to decipher. " she said sadly.
"But it's worth a try. " I nodded
"I'm willing to try, for her. " she shook her head.
"It's a personal journey, not one that should be done because of others. " she sad sadly.
I nodded.
"But let's start from the beginning. She reached out a small frail hand.
" The name is Elizabeth." She shockingly said. I was shocked. She laughed, exposing laugh lines. I couldn't help the small smile I gave her on return. Somehow I pictured my Liz as a younger version of this woman.
"Let's get you inside." She unshered my stubborn body into the church, peels of laughter following us even after the doors had closed.
Since that day I was what you considered remorseful and searching after repentance. As I set back in my solitary cell with a few letters from my new penpal . I smiled at the peace I was filled with.
But what I never new I missed was the white wings the old women had as she had escorted me inside that church that day, slowly showing me a light I always craved and now was slowly being filled with.
I sent a quick prayer being thankful for both women in my life. I was now on a path of self healing before I could seek the forgiveness from the families I caused pain. I knew my lot in life was heavy, but I had no one to blame but myself.
I looked back down at the front page of my letter. It had already reach the full length. I laughed and turned to the other side of the letter.
"Dear other side of this letter. I am writing this not because I'll send this. But I'm writing it to proclaim myself free of past transgressions. The memory of those I killed will always weight heavy on my heart. But I also understand that moving forward is a blessing and not a curse. As I sit in my cell wondering of the freedom I missed. I realise that everyone has a test to have a testimony. Mine just happened to be a darker and longer one. I am thankful don't get me wrong. The people that brought me to this point are no longer here, fueling my sadness for a while, but I hope to see them someday. Much love Aaron Andrews
