Why does your heart ache?
Who does it even ache for?
Is it worth aching for ?
Why?! Why?! Why?!
What is addiction?
Have you ever felt your dopamine release?
Yes!
Have you ever felt your senses go numb ... You stumble and fall lose balance and lay there like a rotting body yes , yes and yes .. When it comes to love my heart withers ... When it feels hazy .. and head echoes the words they said ... Vision gets blurry .. and breathing rate increases .. all i could see are only hallucinations ... Those that aren't even real but my brain making up scenes to satisfy my hearts need ... I blink and it's already another day ... My eyes turn red .. My blood red veins could be seen in my eyes and all over my face .. Those dark circles underneath my eyes only deepens and makes them swollen ... And i go too numb to feel anything anymore ..
I reek of high doses of Cocaine... LSD ... Coca Alkaloids ... Cyanides running through my blood and organs like they depend on them asking for more and more~ ...
And none of your excuses add up to ur actions or to what u say ..
You say something and do all opposite of it ..
Ik and yet I can't help it ... Cuz I got addicted
...
If I try to withdraw being addictive ...
My body would go in a state of hypertension ..
I would sweat, heavy breathings, Couldn't be able to stand straight with trembling legs and my organs would Shiver, not knowing why? ... I can feel my stomach churn .. my mind will go hazy and my eyes will roll behind the back of my head and i'll faint and collapse multiple times ...
And when I finally intoxicate myself
Ahh! I'll feel at ease tho I know it will kill me eventually ... I still can't resist It's temptation ... Oh- how i beautifully succumb to it ...
-You Are Just So Fvckin' Alluring Love~
When I am trying to fall out of your mere addiction .. you are trying to fall apart from something ... It's a heavy feeling like ....
A wife awaits for her husband to get off his work so they could eat together and spend their time together .. but unfortunately the wife has been unaware about the fact that he has his mistress out there ... (Tho- she has her Hunches up and her gut feelings say ... But love is blind My love~ it's darker than a black hole )
Aish~ that's what addiction feels like .. A Betrayal For Pleasure ... An Escapism ... For Fun ...
And when it finally becomes an Addiction ... It's harder to let go off ... This will only pull you into an Abyss .. lead you to demise and yet you will still succumb to it and explore it's depths and until you reach the depth you wouldn't even be able to recognise yourself ..
In fact you won't be there to recognise it ...
And the end feels so peaceful like that's what I have ever awaited for since a very long time ...
The longing for peace ..
How calm it feels ..
Everything, Everyone halts ...
And the eyes slowly shuts down..
Finally they can rest from the heavy feel of Addiction ..
And The Brain Plays Last Freakin' 7mins.
But it's all an optical illusion
Slowly the function of body moves to resting state ...
As each organ starts falling apart from each other and finally stops living for us ..
And Heart beat lowers ...
Thump-thump! Thump-thump! Thump-thump!!
And Beeeeeeppppppppppppppppppp!! --
...
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