"I'm Ali, an 18-year-old teenager. I'm still studying in middle school and it seems that this is my last year of academic studies, it doesn't matter because I'm not worthy of anything at all, just an irresponsible dependent like me who's not suited for things like this. Oh, it seems that sausage price have risen by five cents. Perhaps you don't know and of course you don't know, I'm an American of Iraqi origins and I live with my grandparents in New York. My mother died 3 months after giving birth to me, my grandfather said she died due to complications that occurred to her after I was born but I found a folded sheet of her diary in one of her clothes in a box that my grandfather hid her things in which she said that she was sorry because she chose to leave and not take care of me until I grew up because of her inability to meet me properly and her disappointment that I was not her Iraqi husband's son, as for my biological father is an American soldier. My grandfather told me that he died after raping my mother in front of the body of her Iraqi husband during America's war on both Iraq and Syria and caused chaos... Argh please, coffee price has increased too? For God's sake where are you leading us Biden?... Anyway, I'm not loved and have no acceptance at all whether from my family or anyone else around me unless my grandfather, who is my mother's father. Everyone who is alive from my family hates me because they see me as the setback child or let's say an illegitimate child or as they call me, the devil's child... I will not deny the reason for their extreme hatred for the American blood that I carry, not even their ostracism of me and their encouragement of my mother to abort me before I was born, but my mother continued to refuse over and over because of her extreme kindness and intense love for her husband... she thought that I might be her Iraqi husband son, not the damned soldier son. Even after I gave birth, everyone kept blaming her for not aborting me, and she was insulted and ostracized until she hated herself and decided to put an end that everyone wanted except me, what a shame. Thinking like this makes me feel two conflicting things... worthlessness and intense self-love... I love myself because my mother endured everyone's cruelty just to give birth to me, and I hate myself because I was not accepted by her as I am. Since I was young, I have been a sideline that was drawn by mistake, and what makes me feel sick most is the fact that no one was waiting for me as I am, not even the woman who gave birth to me and defended me and was waiting for me to be the son of her beloved Iraqi husband.. My self-loathing cannot be explained by loving death and hating life.. Only I am more Accepting the issue of my death and impatiently awaiting it and if it were possible for me to commit suicide, I would go and finish just to free myself from this disgusting ball of rock, nothing is worth living for if you are just a fringe. I am blurry in the middle of everyone's lives and among these everyone is me with no influence on their lives or any benefit.. Well it seems that my turn in line has come. Even the cashier looks very tired, I can notice the slight puffiness under his eyes, the slight trembling of his fingers and the slowness of his movement. Since I have known him, he has been working in this grocery store with that same green hat, wide jeans and old worn out green shirt. Is he hiding his baldness or is he just the gloomy type who shows his disgusting feelings with his clothes? Man, this James seems to be in a really bad state, he smells like boredom and a dark aura of severe emotional stagnation, he seems like a mirror of my future.. Nah, who knows, maybe Allah will bless me with a job after I get expelled from my school if I did not die before I finish it at all..."
-Cashier james: Your total purchase is 50$.
-Ali looks absently at the cashier without any response while the cashier james say in annoying manner: kid...what are you staring at?
-Ali blinked his eyes several times in astonishment: Oh, I apologize.. I was just thinking.
-Cashier james: Think somewhere else, there is a queue behind you.
-Ali: I apologize.. What is the total price of my purchases?
-Cashier James: 50$.
-Ali surprised: Huh?! 50 dollars?!
"I paid the money to the cashier and left the thief's grocery store. I was yawning and stretching my arms above my head in my way home in the middle of the night streets of New York under the moonlight and electricity poles while people passed around me, sharing their energy and spreading their smiles. It seemed that James was the one who collected everyone's sadness himself, what a dishonest and selfish sacrifice on your part, James, but the Americans must pay the price. I don't know why, and I don't understand why all this hatred but to know that you have been outcast since you were young because of your tainted blood, this is extremely disgusting. You will hate your life, hate yourself, and end up hating everyone who has the same tainted race as you. It is not a desire for revenge, nor any desire for rebellion in adolescence, but rather that is what the little child inside me wants: ruin and hell for America. As I continued walking on my way, a strange hand grabbed my arm and pulled me into a dark alley. The face of the person who pulled me didn't appear clear to me because of the darkness of the alley, so I tried to resist, but... Whoever pulled me pushed me against the wall then his face and his companion face appeared clear to me..."
-Carl: Haha, where are you going at this time of night kid?
-Sarah approached Ali and looked at him closely: Oh, silly Carl, don't you see? He's a young boy who has not yet discovered life.. Let him go.
- Carl looked at Sarah sarcastically: Shut up, idiot. You find this type of person living in one of the palaces and they have a lot of money and a fountain with a golden seal in the middle of a vast luxurious square.
- Sarah put her hand on Carl's shoulder and then her head while she was looking at Ali: I agree with you.. It is a golden opportunity, but big bro, don't forget my need.. This child is still young..
- Ali's face turned red as he looked at Sarah and Carl with fear
- Carl laughed and said: Ha-ha-ha.. My dear sister, don't be a bitch to this extent, you are breaking the poor boy's heart. I have a drug that will make him like a horse for you tonight. Isn't that right boy? Will you show her the man inside you?
- Ali continued to look at Carl and Sarah silently with frightened eyes
- Sarah laughed sarcastically as she placed her index finger on Ali's chest and moved her finger in a circle on his shirt and said: Ha-ha, Carl.. look at him.. he is afraid and trembling.. he does not dare to make any sound
- Ali slap away Sarah's hand from his chest, then he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly and looked at Sarah and Carl and said: Sorry, I don't like romantic relationships with bitchs
- Carl looked with a smile that was grinding in his teeth then hit his hand on the wall next to Ali's head and said: Who are you referring to as a bitch, huh?
- Sarah laughed and then said: Oh big bro, don't be angry. In the end, he is right... I'm worried about your health big bro, remember what the doctor told you. Should I call Simon?
- Carl looked at Ali angrily and said to Sarah: Yes...
"That whore sent me a kiss from a distance and entered a building opposite from a door. How disgusting are girls like her who are surrounded by more than one male who has no blood relation to her, what a fool trapped in her lust. Did she think that those short clothes would make me aroused?. I hate used goods and even her brother seems to be satisfied with this and is serious as well. People really lose their minds when it comes to money, they will change into people you never knew they were exist at all, money is truly a delicious poison. For a few seconds, a man came out in a black short-sleeved shirt. I can see his chest and stomach muscles through the fabric of his shirt, he is even bald and tall and has a gold watch. Indeed, the black African race is a deadly human weapon, now I understand the reason they were enslaved decades ago..."
- Simon looked at Ali then at Carl and said: What's going on, buddy?
- Carl looked at Simon and then at Ali and said: This little son of a bitch refuses to give us a small gift
- Ali's eyes opened wide angrily for a moment after his mother was mentioned in an inappropriate way
- Simon snapped his neck and fingers and lean closer to Ali: Hey little one.. Let's be clear and kind to you.. Give us Whatever you have and we will let you go.. If you resist and scream or be stubborn, you will not like what we will do to you.
- Ali looked at them and said: I understand but as a simple question, if you take my money, what will we both gain?
- Simon laughed arrogantly and said: Ha-ha-ha, kid. This is not a win-win deal for both of us. It is clear that we want to steal you gently.
- Ali smiled innocently and said: What is the value of something if you did not bother to get it?
- Carl and Simon looked at each other in surprise, then Simon said: What are you talking about, kid? Is this part of what we asked of you? Come on, don't procrastinate
- Ali looked at them with apparent disdain in the image of a self-confident person: How do you feel after getting money in this way? Are you both proud of yourself? Will you two be happy? Are you sure you will be happy? Are all your beloved dead people will be proud of you? Is there any value to your life at all?
- Carl looked at Simon sarcastically then tapped Ali on the head: Listen, kid. These tricks of yours to influence us and make us stop will not work.
- Simon added sarcastically: This is our job as men, and this is something a little dwarf like you will not understand. Now empty what you have in your pockets and return home quickly, you have homeworks, right? Ha-ha-ha.
- Ali looked at Simon in response to his mockery of him: The value of homework and knowledge will not be understood by a scumbag like me or a bald rock-headed man like you
- Simon was upset by Ali's words and tried to punch him but Carl prevented him with his arm and said to Ali: kid... stop fooling around and don't let us resort to methods that you will not like it
- Ali answered calmly with a small smile: My pockets are in front of you, take what you want but... what do you think of a little game that will let you win you more money than you have now?
- Carl and Simon looked at each other in surprise then Simon said: What game, kid?
-Ali reply with a small confident but innocent smile: it's strange from an innocent little man like me but I'm serious about this, just think about it, you will win so much money if you win this easy game and I think you are not afraid to play and win, right? You can win because you are smart, right?
- Carl sighed and said confidently: A game huh? Bring this game of yours, kid, I am neither afraid nor stupid. One night I won 15 bets in a row, I have no fear.
- Ali smiled and said: Well, this is a game I used to play with my grandfather. In short.. which is to predict the number of fingers that the other person has and for ensure not to cheat, we will include a third party player as an arbiter and a winner at the same time, so that every time I win, the arbiter will win a point, while every time I lose, who is against me win a point.
- Carl looked at Simon and a look of understanding appeared on his face: I understand.. If I win against the kid, my score will be a point, and if he wins over me, the point will be yours Simon, and vice versa for the wrong guess, right?
- Ali replied to Carl: Yes.. Also, the total of the rounds will be five.. To be precise, I currently have 100$ in my pockets, and you both should share 100$ with me, to be fair between you both.. So the total will be 300$, so every point you earn will be worth 60$, ok?
- Carl stepped back and looked at Ali with astonishment and a hint of rejection: We have to pay 200$? Why?
- Ali laughed innocently and said: Didn't you say that you are smart and there is no fear for you, sir? I just want to make things a little exciting. And believe me, the game will attract you and you will like it in defrauding a lot of people and winning their money without them realizing. Don't you want a new and very profitable method of earning money?
- Simon looked with astonishment and excitement: Oh, that's right.. Come on, Carl. You said you're good at gambling, so I'll pay and rely on you.. And also, this is a tempting offer.. This boy is strange and has the mind of a real conman bro (hitting Carl's shoulder cheerfully)
- Carl sighed in resignation : Okay, okay.. I agree
- Ali replied with an innocent smile: you both are smart and know money very well and a childish game like this can be easily won without hesitation or difficulty, Right?
- Simon responded directly: Yes!.. let's get started!
- Ali interrupted him while smiling as he opened three of his fingers: Wait a minute, there are three additional rules that I forgot to mention. The first rule says that if a player loses 4 rounds and wins the fifth round, the entire 300$ will be his share. The second rule says that the numbers that we will guess them or represent them with our fingers will not be reused again and of course the numbers are limited between 1 to 10. Whoever reuses a used number will be deducted 30$ from his share.. And the third rule is that any external intervention by anyone outside the game or any oversight by the arbiter will make the game go to a draw, ok?
- Simon and Carl look at each other mockingly and Carl agrees by shaking his head saying: Okay, okay... We will go along with you as much as you want, kid.
"Haha.. How foolish people become when they are blinded by the anticipatory pleasure of victory and their intense lust for material. And as I thought that the one who would play against me is Carl, the king of gambling, and this will make that fool Simon the arbiter. This is completely fine and suitable for me. I took the role of guessing in the first round and this will be Carl's turn is the first and fifth to form numbers, so Carl hides his hands behind his back to form a number with his fingers that I must guess correctly while Simon stands next to him and watches Carl to ensure the honesty of the match. I do not trust thieves and greedy people like them, but as long as that fool bald head is the arbiter, my victory will be easy... Also, I did not mention to them that I might win this game, right? People like hear something beautiful and good about them, that moment they will forget everything else and all they will feel is pride and dignity and only focusing on their selves and what wonderful people they are, you are all open books to me!.. I can notice the hesitation in the eyes of that big fool which indicate between selfishness and loyalty to his friend. There are two options here, either that rock head will choose to be loyal to his friend and make me lose intentionally so that his friend will win all money and the game will end or he will make me win intentionally just so that he will win all money for himself. If Simon chooses for Carl to win all the money, he will not get his money back because Carl is the controlling one in their relationship and Simon is the one who seems like a follower. If he chooses to be selfish, Simon will lose his friend. If we assume that there are many people like Simon under Carl's command, they may abuse Simon, in addition to the fact that he may be in a relationship with this idiot's fallen sister, so this will be worse than the first option. If we combine the two cases, we will get one option, which is that he will be selfish and loyal to his friend at the same time.. Simon will be a fair arbiter to satisfy himself and his conscience!.."
"To be honest, I am bad at guessing , and my grandfather always win against me even though he was worse than me at guessing! It seemed that his victory was summed up in my agreeing every time to play against him.. The game began, Carl formed the number 5 behind his back while I guess the number 1, and my guess was wrong as I expected. That's why Carl won a point which is worth 60 dollars. We started the second round and I formed the number 7 behind my back while Carl's guess was 9, which was wrong, it means the break-even point for Simon. I see that these two friends are gradually starting to immerse themselves in the atmosphere of the game, they really want to learn how to win money by deceiving people and I will give them an unforgettable lesson. The third round in which Carl formed the number 6 and my guess was the number 2, which means An extra point for Carl which made Simon laugh but I don't think it was a real laugh, and even Carl's eyes and the way he stared at Simon seemed to be urging him to do something. so much cowardice and malice is when a hypocrite shows exaggerated kindness to those around him to gain acceptance from others, and this ends with him exploiting others for his own goals or personal benefit while making the victim feel proud, victorious and accomplished after helping him to ensure the extension of the relationship and benefit, this is what makes me believe even more that humans are extremely selfish creatures. We started the fourth round, and the prostitute Carl's sister returned leaning against the wall opposite me and watching us. It was time to play on their nerves and the presence of the fairer sex in the equation would make my influence quick and has a strong effect on them. I was a little late in forming a number with my fingers behind my back. In the end, I chose to form the number 4 and Carl's guess was the number 6. Is this the alleged gambling king?"
-Ali said: 6?.. You formed the number 6 before sir and now you use it again as a guess.
-Simon responded by nodding his head: Right.. The boy is right.. What does this mean?
- Ali answered with a serious look: 30$ will be deducted from Carl, and you mr muscules will win $60 since your friend made a mistake in guessing and lost this round
- Simon laughed and wrapped his arm around Carl, leaning on him and saying while Carl was trying to get away from him: So are you saying that I won $90 in this Round?
- Ali formed a smirk and said: No... whoever wins the next round of the two of you will get the rest 90 dollars, which means that either Carl will get back 30 dollars, defending his honor as a gambling king and win another 60, making his balance at 180$ and you at 120$, or Carl loses and his balance will freeze at 90$ and your balance will increase to 210$... means Carl will lose 10$ from his basic amount that he participated in, which will be yours.
- A look of understanding appeared on Simon while Carl directly objected, saying: What?! How is this?! This is impossible! How did the matter become against me?
- Ali replied with a smirk: don't ask me, ask your friend. He is the arbiter and he is the one who will win and take your money if you lose, am I right?
"What a beautiful show, this will teach them enough to never mess with anyone else and not to steal his money. I am standing here looking at them accounting for the money and it seems that Simon is taking the upper hand in the conversation because he gained high confidence with his victory and guaranteed his victory only by his presence as a arbiter. while Carl, his self-confidence has been shaken and he will lose 10$, and all he is doing now is trying to silence the happy and complaining Simon. But the big surprise has not yet appeared, as the game is not over yet. Now that their argument and useless calculations are over, they seem very nervous and each of them wants to win more, what fools they are. That fool sticks out his chest to his friend's sister, and the other pushes his friend's chest to defend his dignity in front of his sister. The time has come to put the end point of this game. We begun the fifth round, Simon will do anything to win, and Carl will do the same, even though his chance of winning is very little. I will take my time in guessing this time. All that remains are the numbers 8, 3, and 10. Carl's formation of the number 10 will be ruled out, as that would be considered a big risk, especially with the presence of that rock and his stupid and scandalous facial reactions.. so we are left with the numbers 8 and 3... Going back to the previous rounds, Carl's choices were between the number 9 and the number 5 and he did not chooses any number less than 5, whether by guessing or forming. There is a possibility that he will make a mistake, but it will be low because it is a round that will decide the game. That is why there is a possibility that he forms the number 8 there with his fingers behind his back because this is what his intuition has been telling him since the beginning of the game. His intuition is limited, his mind Imprisoned in a room with four walls of stupidity, vanity, pride, and deception... No, this is not a possibility, but I am sure... And now that their tension has risen, their focus on the game will decrease and anything simple will distract them... so it's the turn of my usual grandfather's trick.."
- Ali turned towards the alley exit quickly in surprise, which made the others look directly in the direction Ali was looking at. Carl said: What? What's there?
- Ali replied while looking at Carl and Simon while smiling: I think it's just a cat.. Also, arbiter, taking your eyes off the game is considered a violation of the game's integrity which ends the round in a draw
- Sarah sighed then headed to the entrance of the building opposite Ali, saying: This is all boring, and in the end it's a draw? Big bro, you are an idiot. Why the hell did you choose number 8, you know it's a number that jinxes our family
- Ali smiled and said: A fourth party intervened in the game while she is just a spectator. The intervention ends this round in a certain draw!
- Simon and Carl looked shocked at Sarah while she stopped in surprise at the looks of her brother and his friend at her, saying: What's wrong?
"I will make matters worse, which will allow me to escape.."
- Ali said: We could have overlooked the distraction of the arbiter that occurred if the rest of the parties to the game had agreed, but the game does not end until the owners of all the winning parties receives their profits, so after that girl's intervention the last round ended in a draw.
"The timing with which the girl intervened was very excellent... Now they are blaming her for her intervention after they had used up all their nerves in tension, and the tension turned into anger, and due to the intensity of selfishness it would become a blame for others to escape from the feeling of failure, loss, and inferiority in oneself, lose your dignity with everyone except yourself. My grandfather's trick was somewhat strange, which was to divert the arbiter's attention away from the game and then firmly accuse him of lack of integrity and focus and seriousness, which will cause discomfort to the other player and lack of trust, and this will lead to a draw. I don't know what their reaction will be when they know the true result of the game..."
- Carl shouted: Damn you!, Simon, couldn't you make me win?! I lost because of you and this bitch!
- Sarah replied: What about me? Don't put your blame on me
- Simon replied: What do you mean by making you win? What about me? I paid 100$ out of my pocket Carl, stop being so greedy.
- Carl responded angrily: I don't care! You could make me win the whole money and then we'd split it idiot!
- Simon was surprised by Carl's words, then looked down at the ground, scratching the back of his head while Carl sighed and said: I am the fool who relied on you Simon, and I am the fool who allowed this bitch to watch us, go back to the apartment or I will split your head in two fucking bitch!... Agh, now come simon and let's divide the money.
- Simon said: about money, where is it?
- Carl replied in surprise: wait, you are the arbiter, you are supposed to have the money.
-Suddenly, Ali appeared at the exit of the alley carrying the 300$ and laughing, saying: You were tempted by selfishness and blinded by high self-confidence idiot humans. That girl's lack of patience, and that big man's selfishness and that king of gambling arrogance are the reason for reaching the draw, which means my victory.
- Carl replied surprised and angry: What does a draw mean, huh? What do you mean by all this?
- Ali replied with a smile: If you win against me a round, you will win 60$. If I win a round against you, the arbiter's will win 60$. If the round ends with a draw, I will be the one who will win the 60$.
- Simon said angrily: Then give us back what we won in our rounds and you take the rest 60$.
- Carl replied to Simon in a whisper: What do you mean by taking 60 dollars?
- Simon replied to Carl in a whisper: Shh, I'm just trying to lure him. He's at the end of the alley and the street at this time is full of people and if we chase him it will cause us problems.
- Ali responded with a small laugh: Hahaha.. Have you forgotten the first rule? Whoever loses in all the first four rounds and win a piont in the last round, he will win all the money, which means that all of my money is legitimate and without any lying and fraud, you foolish crooks
- Carl said as he clenched his fists and looked at Ali with hatred: But you didn't mention to us that you might win!
- Ali put his hand on his cheek and smiled arrogantly and responded mockingly: Oh, Do you really care if others win?... Isn't all that matters to you is your win?.... Isn't all your cares are your selves?... People are in love with themselves and all they like to hear is their praise or victory, am I wrong? He-he-he
Carl shouted angrily as he ran towards Ali: You damned dwarf!
"After Carl and his friend chased me, I ran away fastly from the alley towards the main street and entered a crowd of people until they lost me, how foolish they are. They got what they deserved by trying to defraud and steal an innocent young teenager like me, the most prominent thing that shows Allah's justice to his creatures is by possessing each person the strong suitability in some unique way, and now I have to return home quickly to avoid falling into those fools and return home safely, but I really don't know why I feel.. As if it was the penultimate moment of peace in my life..."
(A quarter of an hour later)
- Ali entered his grandfather's house while the old clock struck ten o'clock at night: I have returned... Grandpa? Grandma? did you sleep?
"I entered finding all the lights are off except for a dim light from the kitchen. I slowly and cautiously approached the kitchen and noticed drops and a spot of a red substance at the entrance to the kitchen. The place was dark, but I could distinguish the color of that red spot, I feel bad about this. I tightened my grip. I entered the kitchen slowly.. Who do I think I am? If a cat attacks me, I may not be able to defend myself against it and I will end up full of wounds and scratches. But as soon as I stepped my second step into the kitchen, I felt a black entity standing behind me. A shiver ran through my body, so I made up my mind to face what was coming...."
- Ali turned quickly, his eyes wide open, his fists clenched and ready to defend himself. He was met with the smile of a short old man without teeth poking him at his stomach while saying "Boo"...
- Ali was surprised and relaxed for a moment and took a deep breath and said: Grandpa.. You surprised me
- the grandfather laughed: Ha-ha-ha.. Did I scare you?
-Ali smiled and rubbed the back of his head: No... I just thought something bad had happened... And what is this on the ground?
- the grandfather turned on the kitchen lamp: On the floor?
- Ali looked at the ketchup spilled on the floor and ran to the opened refrigerator: Grandpa!.. I think someone tried to steal what was in our refrigerator... But... No... everything seems to be in its place...
- The grandfather laughed and patted Ali on the back: Don't worry... no one will steal something from this house while I am here.. As for this, I wanted to try eating some of your potato chips, and I took some ketchup. It seems that I did not notice that I was holding the can upside down, so when I pressed it, the lid opened and some of the red sauce spilled on my shirt and on the floor. So I went to my room and changed my shirt and just forgot the refrigerator opened. Haha.
- Ali gave a small smile: Yes, yes, that's okay.. I'll clean the place. Don't worry about it, grandpa ok?.. And where is grandma? Did she sleep?
- The grandfather looked at Ali with a serious look: Yes, she slept an hour ago, she said she was tired.. Also, I was waiting for you to talk privately about something important.. So clean the kitchen and come sit with me on the sofa so we can talk, okay?
- Ali replied with a worried look: Okay, grandpa
"I took a cloth and wet it, then I started cleaning the floor by wiping off the ketchup. At the same time, my mind was in another place because for the first time I saw that look on my grandfather and he was not angry. Did something happen between him and grandma? Or has the worm returned to my grandma who wants to reject me and keep me away because my blood is mixed? I don't really understand people. No, maybe they are right and I am the only one who is wrong. Why everyone in my family are against me and disapproving of me alone? without any reason, among all the childrens. Remember, that woman refused to abort me, thinking that I was her husband's son, and selfishness on her part for excessively loving someone who died and being obsessed with him and not accepting his death, and not out of love for me, which makes me feel disgusted.. Humans are very selfish beings, but they are not mean to be like that, as everyone has the right and role in his life to achieve his desires except me..."
- After Ali finished cleaning the kitchen, washing his hands and arranging the refrigerator, he went to the living room where his grandfather was sitting on the sofa and he sat next to his grandfather on the sofa, looking at the floor and saying: Here I am, grandpa. What did you want to talk to me about?
-The grandfather replied, looking at the same point on the ground that Ali is looking at: My son, Now you are bigger and responsible for yourself. You recently turned 18 and this means that you are a free person in all your decisions and actions. I do not mean by this that you exceed Allah's limits because as Muslims, we do not have to cross it at all or approach it. What is forbidden is forbidden, but we may be able to break some of the rules as a divine mercy upon us which would be permitted in the event of severe distress and the real threat of loss of life. Anyway this is not our topic, The important thing is life is very beautiful, my son, it has many beautiful things, some of which you have seen and some that you have not seen yet. We will not deny that there is a negative side that exists and always appear suddenly, and this is natural to create balance in our lives. Sweet and bitter until life ends, this is how life is. Whether people love you or hate you, don't care about that. Their love for you or their hatred for you will be nothing compared to your love for yourself.
- Ali's eyes widened slightly and he looked up at his grandfather and said: My love for myself?
- The grandfather replied: Yes.. Loving yourself is what determines the feelings of others for you. If you love yourself, you will love others in a healthy way that will make them love you too. And if you hate yourself, others will despise you or try to exploit you. For people to hate you for being just you is impossible to happen...
"After those words came out of grandpa's mouth, I felt completely disconnected from reality and I have no idea what he said after that. Their hatred for you because you are just you is impossible?. Does this mean that my whole life which is all about rejection is not real? Is hatred without reason a dream or is it not recognized? How can a person who was raised in a conservative family who knows well the true meaning of family warmth understand something like this at all? And I was the one who thought that grandpa was the only person who understood what I felt without the need for me to express it in words. It seems that even after all the years and experiences that you have gone through, you still need to know and learn many things and aspects of life grandpa. I do not deny that you have gone through disgusting experiences as well, but as a person who does not know the meaning of true suffering, who does not know the hell of loving yourself and hating yourself at the same time, you have no right to decide what I see and what I believe about others or myself and ignoring my feelings. How many times have I been ostracized because of my race? How many times have your grandchildren beaten me because I am the son of an American soldier? How many times have my uncles doubted that I am Muslim and how many times have they ostracized me? And they ignored and neglected me? How many times did your wife blame about my mother's suicide? how many times did she threaten to kill me? how many times did she expel me in your absence? how many times did she lock me in a room? And how many times did she deprive me of food?. Anyone who has not gone through all of this will not be able to understand the true meaning of being hated just for being you. Sorry grandpa, but for the first time I am disappointed in you.."
- After the grandfather spoke for a long time while Ali was immersed in his thoughts, the grandfather finally said: Then my son.. I will give you the 570,000$ that I own and which I have been saving for about four years for a heart operation.. As you know, your grandfather has grown old and his heart has weakened and I can no longer stay in this world. Take the money and go live far away where you want, build the family you want, eat and wear what you want, and always remember to be proud of yourself like I did. And even if you refuse to take the money from me and help me with the collection, I would tell you that I need nearly two million dollars to cover the price of the operation and as you know my wife Lina, loves me so much and it is difficult for her to accept that, so she is always looking for a way to collect money with me, thinking that she will be able to save me. Don't tell her about your grandpa's despair and surrender. Okay? And now good night my son. I will go to sleep in my room. Don't stay up too long.
"My grandfather left and I did not hear anything he said. My mind remained stuck in the middle of that whirlpool of thoughts until I fell asleep sitting on the sofa. I dreamed that I was in an old shed, petting a white cat in my dream and playing with it while it lies on her back and I caressed her stomach and face, then another black cat came to the window of the hut and behind her was a large tank pointing its cannon at me. I looked in shock at that sight and as soon as the tank canon fired I woke up and found myself sleeping on a dirt floor. I sat upright, rubbed my eyes, yawned, then looked around to find myself among the trees, dense green grass and the sunlight from the blue sky, am I having another dream?. I looked at myself to find myself wearing a tight black shirt and green sweet pants with 6 pockets and a small waist bag with something in it. I also noticed that there is a black bracelet on my wrist but it doesn't seem to me that there is a way to loosen it. As soon as I started touching it, a strange woman's voice came out of it..."
- The woman from the bracelet said: Hello, fighters. I am an AI program and my name is Julie. I have been programmed to be your personal guide during this journey that most of you will lose. Of course you will lose everything in it, including the most precious thing you have, which is life. It is a great honor for me to start with you the fifth edition of our famous, favorite and fun game, full of the beautiful color of red roses.. battle Royale...
to be continued.
