You spoil it again, the voice says loud,
A storm in my mind, under a heavy cloud.
Control yourself, don’t let it show,
They’ll leave you, like they always go.
You’re not angry, you’re supposed to be kind,
Yet the chaos lingers, it rewinds, rewinds.
They are different, not like you,
Too fragile to hold all you push through.
I’m the one who’s hurt, yet I still try,
But the blame circles back, and I just cry.
It’s my fault, I triggered the pain,
I said the wrong words, again and again.
Now he’ll leave, if not now, then soon,
I’ve ruined the sun, turned it to moon.
I spoil things; that’s my curse,
No friends, no love, just a life rehearsed.
Even my dad couldn’t love who I am,
Mom’s here because she must give a damn.
No one stays, no one can bear,
A heart so broken, a soul laid bare.
But I’m trying, God, I try so hard,
To piece together a life so marred.
Count it down, hold back the flood,
10, 9, 8—this is my blood.
7, 6, 5—I’m losing my way,
4, 3, 2—no words to say.
1—still here, though I shouldn’t be,
Fighting the shadow that’s swallowing me.
...shruti
