The ice became translucent as the machine moved forward, polishing and shining it, yet Elian could still see the lines, once cracks, beneath the surface.
It was funny, no matter how much they passed the wheels over and over again, all night, they wouldn't be able to repair the cracks.
So the ice was his soul, his haggard and wounded self, and... the machine was himself, the person he should be.
The man everyone was waiting for trying to heal and repair the cracks in his true self.
It was exhausting.
An impossible task.
He knew it but if he let the cracks reach the surface then everyone would see them, his protection mechanism would be violated and all the pain would escape.
A clearing of the throat next to him brought him out of his thoughts.
Lan was there, wearing his uniform, and by the redness of his knuckles, he could tell he'd been in another fight.
-Are you coming to scold me too?
-I could... but that won't ease your heart, right? - I didn't wait for an answer, Elian looked devastated, the dark circles under his eyes indicated his lack of sleep, and he probably wasn't eating well either. Relax, it's not the end of the world.
- My family abandoned me, my team abandoned me, they murdered my dog, I fell from the seventh floor and relapsed. My mother calls every day to offer me different rehabilitation places throughout the world, no one from the team answers my messages.
Maybe it's not the end of the world, but it's pretty close, don't you think?
- You're still alive, that's the important thing.
-How do you do it?
-Do what?- the lights of the place made her blonde hair shine and the red tips made the whole thing look similar to fire.
Elian remembered their first meeting, fire was definitely his element.
-Live. Live without being affected by the rest.
-Ah, that. You just have to break through everything, the looks, the whispers, the looks, them. Then you can go out, and shine for who you are, and live for you.
-I don't think I'm capable.
-You are good at playing, the best here.
It's not different. You once said that hockey was your life, well, to turn on the light you must break the ice, right? You past them without worrying about whether they're talking about you, who's watching you, or even what's going to happen tomorrow. It's the same. Break through everything.
-I can't.
-Why not?, what you did, what you say, what you are, it's not bad. You're not wrong, you just believed that way, you believed their words and that's isn't your fault. But, if you stay like this, if you keep holding back, hiddin yourself, then it will become your fault.
-You sound like and expert.
-Maybe I am. Look, I got my curses to, everyone was but I'll tell you something: you can chose.
-I can't chose not to be me.
-That's right. Again: you are you and it's nothing bad about it, but you can chose if acept it or not.
