High school was a strange place, filled with laughter, chaos, and fleeting moments of connection. For me, it was a mix of routine and anticipation—a constant rhythm of classes, hallways, and the ever-present hope of seeing him.
Even saying his name in my mind made my heart race. He was the kind of person everyone liked. Not because he tried to be, but because he was effortlessly kind. He wasn’t the loudest or the most outgoing, but his smile could light up a room, and his laughter seemed to echo longer than anyone else’s.
I’d liked him for years. It started small, just a fleeting crush when we were sophomores. He’d borrowed a pencil from me during math class. I remember how his hand brushed mine, and he said, “Thanks” with a smile that made my stomach do flips. That moment, insignificant to him, became the beginning of everything for me.
The Days That Followed
From then on, he was everywhere in my world. Not intentionally—I didn’t follow him or anything. But it was like my senses were fine-tuned to notice him. The way he walked, his laughter that always seemed to break through the noise, the way he leaned against his locker when he talked to his friends.
I tried not to stare, but sometimes it was hard not to. He was the kind of person who radiated warmth, even from across the room.
I wasn’t brave enough to tell him how I felt. How could I? He was friendly with everyone, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself by thinking I was special. But that didn’t stop my heart from hoping.
Our Shared Moments
Junior year was when things felt different. We got paired for a history project, and for a few weeks, I got to be a part of his world. Sitting next to him in the library, I learned more about him—the way he chewed on his pen when he was thinking, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something he cared about.
“You’re really good at this,” he said one day, looking at the notes I had written.
I blushed and shrugged. “It’s just research.”
“No, I mean it. You’re smart,” he said, his tone sincere.
I wanted to freeze that moment, hold onto it forever. For a little while, I let myself believe that maybe he noticed me too.
But then there was A girl
The Reality Check
That girl was everything I wasn’t—confident, outgoing, beautiful in a way that seemed effortless. She and him often hung out, laughing and teasing each other in the hallways. I tried not to let it bother me, but it was hard.
One day, I saw them walking together after school, their heads close as they talked. My heart sank. I told myself it didn’t matter. He was just being himself—kind and friendly. But deep down, I couldn’t help wondering if there was something more between them.
Still, I couldn’t stop liking him. Every smile he gave me, every casual “Hey,” was enough to keep my feelings alive.
The Goodbye
Senior year came faster than I expected. Everyone was talking about their futures—college, careers, the big plans they had for their lives. He was going out of state, to a prestigious university that everyone knew about. I was staying in town, going to a local college and helping out at my family’s bookstore.
The thought of not seeing him every day was unbearable. I didn’t know how to let go of someone who didn’t even know they held such a big piece of my heart.
On the last day of school, I decided to do something I never thought I’d have the courage to do. I wrote him a letter.
It wasn’t long, but it said everything I’d been too scared to say:
Dear...
I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but I wanted to tell you something before we go our separate ways. You’ve always been someone special to me, even if you never realized it. You probably think of me as just a quiet girl from history class, but I’ve admired you for so long. I hope you achieve everything you dream of because you deserve it all. And if you ever think back to high school, I hope you remember me.
I folded the letter and slipped it into his locker before I could change my mind.
Waiting
Summer came, and he left for college. Life moved on, but I stayed the same, stuck in a loop of waiting. Waiting for him to call, to write, to say something—anything. But the days turned into weeks, and then months.
I often wondered if he had read my letter. Maybe he thought it was silly, or maybe he didn’t care. I didn’t know, and that uncertainty hurt more than anything.
Still, I couldn’t let go of the hope that one day he might come back. I replayed our moments together in my mind, clinging to the memories like lifelines.
Years Later
Now, I sit by the window of our bookstore, watching the world go by. I’ve grown up, but some part of me is still that high school girl, waiting for Ryan.
I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again. Maybe he’s forgotten me entirely. But I’ll always remember him—the boy with the kind smile who unknowingly became my everything.
Some loves are like that. They don’t fade, even when they remain unspoken. And no matter how much time passes, a part of me will always be waiting.
Still waiting...
