There was no meaning for me in my life. So i decided to finally leave this world, I wanted to see the world and live a really long live but without a meaning i couldn't go on. But before I wanted to do somethings not go to friends or family but to search for somethings my diary...
I started writhing diary's when i wad 12 years old it was all filled with happiness only a few was about sadness but when i was 14 years old it all started to turn dark my diary everything my life and the world i lose my meaning to live on....
Being lost in thoughts while searching for my diary, I found it in the store room but unlike others where the syire room is kept dirty and dusty with lots of things which they don't use anymore, I kept my clean and it was where i keep all of my precious thungs there...
I finally found my diary...
There alot was written about my life and the happiness, sadness and alot of memories from the past......
I started reading it the most hurtful one was when I had a fight with my mom and reveal everything which I have been hiding about some of my injuries which you don't get from falling down some of you may think I got from some bully but no i didn't, 'I did it to myself, I lost control of my emotions and hurt myself each time I get'. Then i was sent to a Therapists...
Things change my life change. I stop talking to mom and from there nothing else I could remember. And my diary was blank in some pages it should have been fill with words but it wasn't....
I went back to my room and took a knife it would hurt me a little but I wouldn't suffer much from it, just some blood lost.
I lost my consciousness and when i woke up I was in a place full of darkness no light or no one than I notice a book infornt of me, I didn't know what to do but for some reasons it felt like someone wated me to read it, the book I at first hesitated to read it but i didn't know where i was or what i sould do so the book could lead some way out..
I started reading the book. It felt like I was in another timeline or world.
12 march it was my birthday i had aloth of fun today and i celebrated it in school bringing sweets for all of my classmates, it was so much fun today... Rather than a book it was a diary about someone the more i read the darker or alot of sadness it got continuing further...
16 october i had a fight with mom and now i don't want to talk to her. The more I think about it the more I want to hurt myself. My life is starting to become meaningless...
19 october During April my friend introduce me to a boy not quitely but you can say like that and like I didn't real think much but the more thry talk about him and tell me about him and before i realized it I fell in love with him.. But he has someone else so i guess i sould let him go....
25 october i finally decided it i am going to move on from him. He was the reason i smiled now the reason i am sad but not his fault...
16 november I got angry with mom and told her everything my secret and all. I distant myself from everyone and my inner self too and inner child everyone and now my life is full of darkness...
1 December I am dead a living body without a soul my life is gone.
After reading it I realize one thing that it was my diary all of it wasmy memories and at the last page of my diary my past self wrote something 'If i am finally living the world and it is not my time yet than my fiary and inner self and past will come to save my that future self which is now the present self when she is reading this,Live on'
I burst out crying after holding it for all these years in a small place without anyone there wuth my past self and my inner child who came to save me from dying....
I woke up in my room with no knife or bloid anywhere, I didn't felt any pain and my diary in my hand....
Diary of my past self.......
I decided to write again for my future self who may give up again and save her like my past did by writing a diary and giving me another meaning to live on ...
Live for yourself and not to give up because of others that is what the diary of my past gave a life and meaning...
Now i will fully move on with my inner child ....
Hey guys thanks for reading it.. It's my first story so hope you like it....
