Ellie POV
"el come downstairs, RIGHT NOW! " i shuddered listening to my father's voice nd hurriedly went downstairs to the living room.
"y-yes dad" i started stuttering looking at his red face because of anger .
"Where the hell have you been ??" he questioned while throwing the empty plate beside him on the floor making it break into pieces .
I flinched back and answered "i was doing..m-my project w-workk "
"and who the f*ck will make the dinner? Me? "
"N-no dad! Im going to do ittt!! Please don't be angry!! "
"Shut your fucking mouth and make the food b*tch and clean the mess in the home "
I nodded and quickly disappeared from his sight.
He gets easily angry. It has been like this from the moment my mom died due to heart attack 4 years ago when i was 14 and now im 18.
After she passed away , i have been doing all home chores everyday and making food for both of us plus i also go to school thankfully.
He wasn't like this before , yes he did have anger issues but now he drinks too and abuses me physically and mentally.
But i have no other choice except to obey him and take all the abuses quietly.
How i wish mom was still here , it would have been better but it is just a wishful thinking of mine . Because nothing is going to change back.
I have no hope of living well under him but im working hard so i can leave this place as soon as possible however i don't know if i will be able to take this for a long time .
Everytime he beats me , i used to cry in my room whole night and ask myself " Am i Lovable?"
But now it doesn't matter ! I understood that humans are selfish whether friends, family or relatives. What they do is please themselves in the way they want. They do not care about other's feelings .
No matter how much you love or care about someone it is not certain if you will get the same amount back from them .
I want to be selfish too so that no one gets to take advantage of me , i want to raise my voice too so that i don't have to bow my head to them , i want to live free too so that i don't get to face then but it is just impossible.
Why it is so hard to live yourself? Why people make it so easy to say it in stories nd poetries about happy ending or life?
How are they so happy? Im jealous of them. I want to live like them too. Do i not deserve happiness? Wht sin i committed to live a life like this? Isn't it better just to die?
No one got the right answers to these questions, i don't too.
Except blaming my parents to make me come in this dangerous world i have no one to put blame on . Or should i blame myself to be incompetent to fight all these? .
