ri slowly breathes into a mask full of oxygen as the ambulance races to
the nearest hospital, bypassing cars and running all the red lights. Each
second that passes, I’m praying I get to see my girl open her eyes for me.
I’m watching her now like my life fucking depends on it. I look down at
her torso as the medics attend to her wounds, exposing her stomach, and
I’m going crazy on the inside.
There’s complete, utter chaos burning every single cell within my
blood, but on the outside…I’m calm and composed, as I usually am in these
situations. My own parents trained me to be like this. An emotionless
bastard since I was a child.
“Daniel, work comes before family, before friends…before love.”
I grit my teeth as I remember his condescending belittlement as a little
boy.
“As soon as you understand that work always comes first, son, you’ll be
a successful man like me.”
My father’s words ring into my head as I look at the woman who has
me on my knees.
I despise him because look at me now.
I’m a fucked-up mess, but Ari and our baby… they’ve made me feel
like I’m deserving of a family. Something I used to think was a curse.
I was just too gone and selfish to understand it.But when I revealed every single dark shadow that plagued me, she did
something that made me realize this world isn’t such a terrible place to be in
as I thought it was.
Even after I told her everything…
She stayed.
She stayed and accepted me, no questions asked.
Even when I told her about the day that haunts me and her.
One ghastly thought sits at the back of my head, knocking on my door,
and I’m trying to block it out, but it’s a real possibility I’m hoping never
comes true.
Our baby not making it through this.
I keep thinking about our baby.
Please don’t leave your mother and I.
Death has Shane now, but I refuse to let it consume our baby, too.
I wish our little one who holds a part of me and the woman who holds
my heart hostage will also make it through this.
Our baby will make it through this.
Faith is a funny thing to me. I don’t believe in it, but I believe in fate.
After all, fate kept bringing Ari to me when I tried to fight it.
This whole time since I met her, I wanted to protect her…from myself.
And that’s when I feel a frigid breath on the back of my neck, sending
icy prickles into every fiber of my bones, and my hair raises. Death is
nearby, but he’s not telling me a word this time, leaving me in a frantic state
of hope.
Now you decide to not speak? Now you don’t want to talk?
Fuck you.
But again…I’m only returned with pure silence, making every second I
watch Ari asleep more painful.
One of the worst kinds of emotions to feel when you’re hoping things
go your way.
Hope is like fear in some ways. An emotion tethered by trauma.
False hope is as cruel as death.
I lick my lips as I watch my little angel breathe.
Her skin is pale, almost gray, but that’s what happens when you literally
meet my good friend because of all the blood she lost.
He hovered over her like the stalker that he is, eager to reap her up to
Heaven, where I know she’ll be in the afterlife.I get closer to Paul’s grieving sister and stand beside her with my hands
in my pockets. She doesn’t notice me standing in front of a smiling portrait
of Paul, but oh, how I notice her.
She’s fucking beautiful.
She’s beautiful…and holy shit. Now I fully understand why Paul has
kept her a secret from us.
I don’t know her, but I’ll give up everything I thought I loved to know
everything about her.
“Paul Alvarez was a great man. I’m going to miss him.” My voice
comes out soft and welcoming.
Startled, she gazes at me as tears stream down her face. She quickly
wipes them away like she’s embarrassed. Her eyes trail to my chest, and she
stares at the Navy trident with such hatred, but it doesn’t bother me.
“Don’t talk about him like that. Like you know him. You don’t know
him; you know nothing about my brother.”
She’s harsh and unforgiving, but it only intrigues me more.
“He was the best damn guitarist I’ve ever known. You could request any
Mana song and he would play it for you. He also snored like a fifty-year-old
man when he racked out and everyone knew to stay away from him when
he ate something with dairy. Those farts of his were deadly.” I scrunch my
nose. It’s my lame attempt to charm her.
She stops fiddling with the tissues in her hands and goes still. Her
expression mellows as she looks at me, but she holds back a smile by biting
her lip. She lets out a short laugh that almost sounds like a scoff.
I reach out for her hand to shake it.
“Kane Slaughter.”
Her smile fades away quickly, and for a second there, I think she is
going to slap my hand away or throw curse words my way…but she
doesn’t.
Finally, she takes my hand in hers and says in the sweetest, most angelic
voice that makes me feel like I’m in definite trouble, “Ari Alvarez.”
I look at her short hair and get lost in the strands of it. The color of her
hair is so black; it’s almost obsidian, and her soft velvet hair reminds me of
the dark, unforgiving night I met Death for the first time.
Where my journey of guilt began. In Iraq. The mission that killed my
brother. The ultimate decision that caused Paul’s death and left me with
self-blame.
“It’s colder than Grim’s heart up here. This beanie isn’t doing shit for me.”
Rooker’s teeth chatter, and white puffs of air loom as he breathes the words
out.
And here we fucking go. Let the banter begin.
I shake my head, clenching my jaw.
He’s not lying; we’re all freezing our balls off.
“Remember that time we went fishing, bro?” Paul looks back at Kane
over his shoulder, then turns to Lopez. “What I would do to be back in
Florida on a warm and sandy beach. Grim and Cobra didn’t catch shit that
day!” Paul jokes with the cowboy from Texas, as our boots crush twigs
underneath our boots, high into the mountains of Iraq.
It’s dark, but our night vision eyewear allows us to see. It’s cloudy, and
the moon has betrayed us. We have nothing to guide us through the night
but our equipment.
We are in the middle of fucking nowhere with no other civilian in sight,
and it gives us a small window to talk before it’s time to get to work.
“How could I forget? You lost my favorite fishing rod, dick,” I spit,
walking over a log and clutching my rifle tight in my hand.
“It’s not my fault the fish chose me over you. They just like me better,
just like the women,” he delivers it like an overconfident remark, and I don’t
need to look at him to know he’s smiling ear to ear, antagonizing me.
He’s always fucking with me because I’m the only one on the team who
hasn’t committed to any girl. I don’t do relationships. I don’t have the
fucking time to entertain a girl back home long enough to keep her. I don’t
want to. It’s pointless.I’m never home anyway, so what’s the purpose?
I like having work as my number one priority and nothing and no one
else.
I roll my eyes.
“It’s also not my fault a fucking shark ripped it out of my hands.” Paul
lets out a harsh breath as he continues, as if he’s having a hard time
keeping up. We’ve been hiking around fifteen miles now, but we can’t stop.
We’re already so close to our destination.
The number one terrorist on the list awaits his doom, and we’re gladly
going to bring it to him.
He executed an attack on one of the US embassies, killing ten
contracted workers, chopping their heads off, and hanging them on spikes.
That didn’t sit well with our country, so…they brought another mission
to my team and we eagerly accepted it.
“I should’ve thrown you in the water, giving them more to eat.” I smirk,
refraining a laugh from escaping my throat as I think of that sunny day in
Florida. It was a four-day weekend and the boys and I wreaked havoc in
Miami and bar-hopped for three straight nights. It wasn’t El Devine, but it
was fun.
“The longest recorded sniper kill was achieved by a new Navy SEAL.
Did you hear about it? Nobody even thought it was possible, but this guy
made a fucking headshot from football fields away. Fucking insane.
Admiral Ravenmore was impressed enough, and they’re in talks to add him
to our team,” Kane shares with us, getting between Paul and me, huffing
through his difficulty to even out his breathing.
He’s captured my full attention and piqued my interest.
I glance over at him, raising a brow, and I see drops of sweat fall off his
eyelash. My Reaper mask doesn’t stop me from showing my emotion. My
eyes say it all.
“No fucking way. What’s his name?” Rooker asks, re-adjusting his rifle
over his shoulder on my right.
“His name is Hannibal. His Operator name is—” Something tweaks in
the distance, interrupting Kane from talking further. It sounds like a branch
breaking…a branch breaking under someone’s foot. It sounds like a threat.
We all grow quiet in less than a second. We all lock our lips tight, and
we stop moving. Our teams go rigid, holding our rifles up to our eyes, ready
to engage.I wouldn’t let him take her from me.
I pleaded with Death because her soul isn’t his.
Hell, it’s not even hers–it’s mine.
I will not live if she doesn’t. I’ll cut my own heart out of my fucking
chest to join her in the afterlife. Even though I know I’m headed to Hell
when it’s my time with the number of lives I’ve already sent there.
Still…I won’t ever let Ari escape me. I’m madly trapped beneath her
wings.
Holding her into my arms as she bled out was all too hauntingly
familiar, and all I kept thinking about was the night when we lost her
brother, my best friend, Paul. My hands are stained with the blood I've
spilled and taken. Paul slipped away to join Death and all I could do was
watch the blood pour out of all of his wounds…just like my Ari.
To this day, I will forever regret not keeping the promise he made us all
do when he first asked for it.
I’ve always been a selfish man, but not anymore.
I never knew what she looked like because I don’t pry into my friends’
lives.
Paul didn’t have social media, and neither did I. I still don’t. I prefer to
keep my life private, as did Paul. We were alike in that sense.
Our conflicting work schedules made it hard for us to hang out when we
were home simultaneously, but when we did, it sure was fucking fun. We’d
been friends for five years, saving each other’s asses occasionally.
When a man wielding a sword ambushed me, he saved my life. My
attacker sliced my back, but Paul put a bullet through his head before he
could do more. Now, it’s a scar. The first scar Ari noticed when I took her to
my house the first time.
The ambulance swerved sharply and everyone inside was thrown off
balance. My instincts kicked in right away, and I held onto my girl so she
would stay safe from swaying, but the vehicle regained control and rushed
to the ER. I can see the red sign awaiting our arrival.
I finally feel the pain from where I was stabbed in the chest. It throbs
and burns. Shane’s weak attempt to redeem himself, but it’s just another
scratch truthfully.
I quickly give myself a once-over. He only cut through muscle. I’ll be
fine like I always am.We crouch, and I search for any life that may threaten ours.
I wave my hand over my side, motioning them to follow me, but I’m the
first to do a quick scan of evaluation.
I sharpen my gaze, looking at everything in my sight, and that’s when I
see the culprit.
I see an eight-point buck, thick rugged antlers, and bright green eyes
glow, glistening right back into my vision as I shine my light on him.
I scoff, lifting my lips into a curve on one side, and my sharp canines
brush over my bottom lip as I squint.
A fucking deer.
I drop my rifle and relax my shoulders.
I let out a sigh of relief as it gallops away, disappearing into thick trees.
I stand tall, re-adjusting my posture and running my hand through my
beard, over my mask. It’s a fucking habit.
We don’t have to engage in a fight just yet. One of the worst things that
could happen is getting caught off guard and ambushed.
“All clear,” I whisper into the mics.
I move forward a few steps in front of the teams and instruct them not to
follow me.
“I’m going to do some recon.”
“Roger that,” my team whispers, synchronized, acknowledging me.
I walk for about a minute, pushing through thorny bushes and broken
branches.
My shoulders bear the weight of my wandering mind. Everyone depends
on me to get us through this.
I felt a strange sensation prickle on my neck, like freezing air blowing
on me, which I have never experienced before. It sends goosebumps all over
my skin, and I turn my head, expecting to see Paul messing with me. I’m
already preparing myself to condemn him because he’s going against my
orders. I told him to stay put with the rest of the team. He knows when to
separate foolishness from work.
I turn my head around to be met with no one. I narrow my brows,
confused, when I see that I’m alone and Paul is far away from me, talking
to Kane and Lopez.
I shake my head, shrugging my shoulders.
Am I going fucking crazy? It felt like someone was breathing on my
damn neck.I need a cigarette.
I continue to move forward, stepping on small rocks underneath my
boots, and that’s when I notice we’ve reached our destination.
We’re at the edge of a fucking cliff.
I look down. The tip of my boot is off the ledge as I look down. We’re
hundreds of feet into the air. If we fall, we’ll die an instant death with our
brains splattered across the floor, coming home in a closed casket.
Dirt and small molecular rocks fall off when I drag my foot back. I look
into the distance. Wrath sparks into every single vein coursing toward my
heart when I see a fucking army of the terrorists we’ve been looking for, but
they’re not sleeping, no.
Fuckers are wide awake, and it looks like they’re planning something.
They’re all gathered around each other as if they’re attending some
meeting.
They all have their attention on one man, and my eyes light up like the
Fourth of July.
I quickly grab my rifle, peeking through the scope, and sure enough, it’s
him.
Omar stands tall, unaware his chest is right in the middle of my
crosshairs. Our number one target.
He’s pacing back and forth as he speaks to his own army of a team that
has followed in his footsteps.
My lungs constrict, and I’m eager to pull the trigger. I want to watch the
bullet pierce his monstrous, evil body, making him fall to the ground like he
deserves and take another soul. Our intelligence got it right, causing my
eyes to darken as I celebrate internally.
But I can’t pull the trigger.
I can't endanger my team's lives by instigating chaos and a potentially
deadly battle if I kill him. Unfortunately, it’s too far off a shot. We need to
get closer and pick a better, safer area to execute the mission.
Rooker walks and stands to my right, looking the same way as I am
through his rifle. I look at him through my mask, and I can sense his body
language shift and go rigid when he sees Omar through his scope.
He looks up from his scope and his eyes crinkle with celebration, a
sadistic grin underneath his mask.
“Bullshitting is over, boys. We’re here.” I smile wickedly into the mic,
the words rolling off my tongue smooth like whiskey.
