Today was a complete disaster. I feel like everything I've tried to do has just fallen apart. I wanted to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student—but I’ve failed at all of it. Nothing seems to be working out for me.
The internship I was so hopeful about? It’s gone. I started it without even telling my friends, even though they had informed me about their own internships before starting. I ended up messing it up by uploading the wrong certificate. It’s hard not to think about the money I wasted—money of my parents. I can’t even buy a simple pair of socks without depending on them. I feel so useless, like I’m nothing without them.
Then there’s my friends. I’ve realized how selfish I’ve been. I expected them to tell me when they were starting their internships, but I kept mine a secret. When I messed up by submitting the wrong certificate, I reached out for help, but they had already completed their internships correctly. They had shared their plans with me, but I hadn’t been open with them. I also keep my assignments to myself until after I’ve shown them to the professor, but I expect my friends to share their work with me. I see now that this isn’t fair, and it’s making me reflect on how I interact with them. I know I’m in the wrong, but I can’t seem to fully admit it. I feel like a horrible person.
Academically, I have a decent CGPA of 8, but beyond that, what have I done? No internships, no extra courses—nothing that makes me stand out. It’s been three years, and I feel like I’ve wasted so much time. I’m terrified about the future. What if I never achieve anything? What if I never make my parents proud?Will i ever reach their expectations?
I’ve never been good at anything other than cooking/paintings. I’m not pretty, I’m never going to be successful, and it’s no wonder that no boy has ever shown interest in me. Why would they? I feel like I have nothing to offer. Even "he" will never love me, not when I’m such a mess.
It feels like bad luck is my constant companion my lover, never leaving my side like an ex. No matter how hard I try, nothing goes according to plan,nothing is going ...... I’m angry, frustrated, and on the verge of breaking down. I feel like I’m good for nothing—just a burden on everyone around me. I’m scared about the future. What if I never get married? What if I never make something of myself?
Everything is falling apart, and I don’t know what to do. I just feel so lost and overwhelmed.
(A senario)
