❝I'm a teenager, with lots of things to do but is there anything that I actually do? I'm really confused about my feelings of anything. Moreover, I don’t know how it works. All I feel is the same heart, pluming. Again and again, as if there is nothin else to do.❞
Nayra Hazel, a student or should I say, a person who's always confused about her thoughts or feelings after having it numb for so long? She doesn’t know how to express anger, sadness, jealousy and other emotions except for the only one, she can express is love. And I found her words on her diary...
Is it worth to love a person who doesn’t give it back? Am I the only one who sees her for her? Or maybe not? Maybe I'm also using her? Just to get that love and walk away someday? Right?
I'm a nobody that she loves, even though, she deserves the whole universe's love but it feels like, for me, it is impossible to show that love but I can show the other emotions.
What a combo, right? But sometimes, I wonder, if I could love, would I love everyone the way they love and show how it is like to be love? I know, it’s just, we are friends but, we are a family, a family who makes me smile on a daily basis and to be honest, I don't know, if I would be able to be here, standing right infront of you guys, because, my mind wants to die and my heart wants to life.
I'm Rumi Ezlyn. Maybe I'm a person who has no feelings at all but can you be sure that you know your feeling more than I do? Is it possible for you to know, who you are without me? Am I not your friend? I know, I don’t express my love like you do, but you also dont express your other emotions like I can do.
So, are you telling me that, you’re just a piece of book? Who was so easy to read without any mistakes, without any fights, without telling you, how much you mean to me? Aren’t these enough? How much more should I do and say? I CAN'T EXPRESS IT !!!
I know, I think too much but that does mean, I'm making your life even more hard? I don’t know, what I'm doing but Im indeed sure that I can't do anything wrong because I've learnt from the worse and become better within time. So, is it really me? Who ruins everything or is it my mind, who's on her work to make it right and ruin it for me? However, I knew that it was never easy and it won't be easy, it will never turn out like I want and it will be always hard for me.
Maybe, it is like that because, I know, I'm not capable of loving someone from the bottom of my heart anymore as it has been broken once to many times and now it just doesn’t care who is giving her love?
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Rumi Ezlyn is the student of high-school who has been always hurt by others and a sensitive person who doesnt want anything more then the world.
But maybe, the world wants her to have something so that she can see how beautiful it is from other point of view.
Maybe it is ineed hard to get over few things and they will stuck with us forver hunting like a ghost but is it worth any of our tears?
So, can you be sure that it is us, who destroyed us or is it them, who have messed up with our feelings
Nayra hazel, she's a great classmate/friend who wants nothing more then just giving Rumi some love but is it really worth, trying to give someone love who is unsure of their feelings.
Both have them are unsure of their feelings yet they handle eachother pretty good and no one seems to get in, as if, they know, it is best to be like them and enjoy the moment for now because no one knows, what will happen later.
So, is it really worth, loving someone who doesn’t know their feelings? And love back?
Maybe it is not.. Or it is...
