I've experienced a lot of mistakes with picking a guy.
I landed myself pretty badly to some community. And I was just a kid back then.
So without much insight about the situation, you could say I willingly went on with it.
It felt nice being liked. But then one after another gave me consequences. Lessons.
Relationships got nicer and nicer. But it didn't matter since I knew I wasn't in the appropriate time to be in a relationship.
I didn't mind that some teens my age already have a relationship with someone. Although they do catch my attention sometimes.
But I know that the principle my family taught me was different. I should not ever get a partner till I graduate, followed by more explanations; which I understood.
Unfortunately, I still made a mistake. I'm not saying the good bond with the people I've been with was a mistake. I just meant it in the perspective of my family when I let that happen.
My first was out of curiousity of the feeling of beeing seen and appreciated, and so I was put to the situation.
Second, the feeling of sympathising with another person to a deeper level than what I was used to. I never really had a deeper connection with my circle back in my day so I was rather enthusiastic about it.
Third, I think first love. But the guilt was stronger. The principle was carved into my mind and attacked my conscience as time passed by.
Then the second one came back and became my friend. The problem was that it still had feelings for me. I didn't feel the same. So in the end, I still thought it was a good idea for us to let go completely.
Now here I am feeling like some caveman who figured out how to make a fire. Lol.
After that, I completely felt free. I learned that all those reasons of why I secretly joined a relationship, I can have them without someone to kind of oblige me with attention and affection.
I'm not interested with anyone anymore at the moment. But I think I'm starting to appreciate life way more. Viewing it for what it is. Black, gray, and white, and some more colors.
Since I have been interested in reading stories. I think it contributed to my growth, especially with how I see love that has so many forms imaginable.
So I hope, you, who is reading this will experience the feeling of being blessed to live. It just hits different. Seeing the world in a more simplistic but comely way possible.
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