hi, I'm posting this post at 1;17 at night, because I'm feeling afraid not from ghost but worried about future.
I'm a collage student and pursuing BCA(bachelor in computer application)and from 15 July my 3rd semester is going to start but I haven't learn anything in my first year now I'm afraid of what's ahead. I'm feeling anxious, anxiety. i have ask this two time before I came here to ask but I didn't get any ans so I came here to ask.
you know what I haven't tell anyone about it. i have many things that I want to say, but can't cause I'm afraid.
so I'm going to say everything today.
i want to tell my classmate that I don't like to be alone it's just that I don't know what to say how to say.
i want to tell them that I also want to be tere friend
I also want to be called someone's bestfriend.
it's just I am always alone since childhood couse my father said that it's not good to make friends in today's time so I didn't make any I was just following his wish but trying to be a good daughter for my father I was left alone by everyone. i didn't choose to be alone.
I also want someone with whom I can share everything
but I'm afraid also please understand me I'm trying my best to become a good friend but it's really hard. it's hard for a introvert and a shy person like me to easily open up so please understand.
i always thought that I don't care of I have friends or family with me because my father is always by my side
but now I'm growing up he don't understand me.
he always say that I don't understand cause I'm a child
but please dad stop it already i know by doing this you are trying to protect me but are you sure you are not the reason for my suffering now. you make me a person who is always dependent on you and you want that in future i should depend on my husband WHY should I depend on others I want to depend on my self but you are hoping that after 12 i should find a job and married someone why. and now I no longer want to follow your arrangements you are saying that I'm becoming a bad person. you know what dad i no longer want to follow your arrangements. i want freedom.
in the name of protection you have make me a person who can't do anything without anyone's help. but now you taunt me that I'm so lazy and can't do anything without you and what will happen to me if you wouldn't have been here but in reality you make me a dependent person and now you suddenly want me to become and independent person but still want me to depend on you
i really don't understand what you really want and when I ask you, you said I will not understand. what should I do to understand you i don't know.
father please i want freedom I also want to have friends so please Stop interfering please let me try myself so that I can understand what kind of world I'm living in
your overprotection have make me a weak girl even if I'm an adult now but I still don't understand how world work I have just listened you.
have you ever heard a story about a butterfly and a human
let me tell you there was a butterfly 🦋 that will coming out of her cocoon but when a man see that how the little butterfly 🦋 is trying so hard to get out of cocoon so he felt sorry for the little butterfly and try to help her by cutting ✂️ open the cocoon so that the butterfly can come out but after that, that butterfly could't fly ever because it was a test for that little butterfly 🦋 if see could come out of cocoon by herself than her wing will be ready to fly but that man in sympathy without knowing destroyed butterflies life.
so please let me free father you have already cut my cocoon up but I think there are still some hope perhaps I still can fly so please let me be free.
