The Sleeping Beauty slowly starts to stir from his sleep his blonde hair tousled around on the pillow delicate soft features glowing in the moonlight, he feels a slight discomfort from the strong grip around his waist the hand grip from someone he doesn't want the more he thinks about it the more disappointed he becomes with a tinge of guilt wishing it was him instead him whom his heart yearned for day and night the one who haunts his dreams. But reality soon confronts him , he gently brings himself away from the hand and quietly makes his way to the balcony.
His long blonde hair gently swaying along with the breeze, the soft glow of the moonlight illuminating his delicate feature. The ciggerate loosely holds itself between his thin delicate fingers as his eyes are fixated on the lonely moon tonight with no stars to accompany him.His thoughts about the moon don't last so long as soon drift off to a certain someone
Someone he needed.
Someone he wanted.
Someone he regretted.
Someone who was... Once his
10 years ago
"I'm jeonghan"
" I'm seungchoel "
It wasn't hard for jeonghan to instantly be head over heels for this man his strong, commanding demeanor, his perfectly styled styled back dark hair. His whole presence was so commanding that it draws people in yet his eyes... His gaze is so warm that jeonghan couldn't help melting in how could he ever resist such a man.
The more jeonghan spent time with seungchoel the more his heart his heart felt like it was not his anymore. Their days were always filled with laughter with joy the more they got to know one another the more their bind stegthen sharing secrets, feelings they had never told anyone else off those but the more days went past and out of nowhere there was a change in seungchoel a change which made jeonghan think all the progress they made was going to waste.
He was so distant so lost so close yet so far away the warm delicate kisses were more hesitant the smile that once brought him immense joy now made him weary insecure had he done something? What was going on.
This feeling was eating him he tried his best to ignore it but it was too strong. The gnawing feeling of fear just kept increasing and increasing and then it finally all came crashing down that unfateful day.
" I'm leaving " he says he says it so simply like it's nothing like he doesn't understand the power it holds
" we...i jeonghan I can't do this to u I love u but I love my country too I promised to protect my country and I can't break this promise jeonghan "- seungchoel
" And it is selfish of me to ask u to wait for me, I can't do that to u it's not fair on you "- seungchoel
Jeonghan said nothing. Jeonghan was lost. He wants to reach out he wants his touch he wants to hug he wants kiss he wants to cry but his body isn't with his mind isn't with him.His insides re screaming in agony his heart is crying the thought of a life without him isn't what he wants he wants a future with him he wants his mornings with him his heart is only at home with seungchoel and he will wait for him to return even if his hair turns grey he will wait until his death bed. He will.
" I decide what's good for me... Ik what's fair... "- jeonghan
" I will wait.. As long as it takes for u idc how long I will wait! As long as your back in my arms I can wait! " - jeonghan
"Hannie... " -seungchoel
His voice had gone softer.. He sounded so defeated it was a plead
"No. You do not get to decide our future alone u do not get to decide what is right for me i am telling u now I will wait "- jeonghan
" u will regret it" - seungchoel
"Not if it's for you "- jeonghan
" you will be hurt " - seungchoel
" only if you choose to just let all of this go " - jeonghan
"I am doing this for u! This is not easy! Why don't you understand ha- jeonghan... This isn't just about patience I could die! "- seungchoel
" then live for me... Live for me chollie because I'll be waiting "- jeonghan
" u... Don't say I didn't tell u so hannie "- seungchoel
Present
Jeonghan just stood there, his fingers trembling with every puff of smoke he took as the suffocating sense of loniless started to engulf him.His mind only clouded with thoughts of what could've been if things were different. He stared blankly at the moon with every inhale he tasted the bitter truth of his loneliness. He couldn't and can't shake of the feeling that he had let something so precious slip through his fingers something.. He could never find again.
" hannie... " the voice came from a distance he knows.. He knows that it's not real he knows it's not there but he likes to pretend
" cheollie... Pls " -jeonghan
"I told you so didn't I "
"I told you to live for me... "
"I warned you "
"I Told you so"
Jeonghan was once again left alone with his thoughts, he knew that the day he lost seungchoel was also the day he lost a big part of himself something that could never be repaired. And as the ciggerate burned down left with just ashes, ashes of what could've been.
What jeonghan could've have had instead of a husband that's nothing more than a stranger
What jeonghan could've had instead of a house he can't even call his own
Maybe if he had listened maybe if he had done something different but we'll never know.
𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙
