'I love you'no matter how much I read the note again and again I can't seem to get hold of my emotions.The pretty paper cherry blossoms laid in my hand wet,ruined with its corners torn.
* * * *
Sam was the boy I have been crushing on since I came to this school.His tanned skin which shone from the sunlight was hard look away from.A slight strang of his bangs brushed against his forehead due to the wind.
It's definitely not fair for he gets to focus on class while I don't.With the blink of an eye he was gone.The classroom,the students everything was gone.
I stood in the busy hallway near my locker as I carefully picked up the paper cherry blossom.This was the fifth time this week that I've discovered an unknown paper cherry blossom.According to my friends,it must be some secret admirer of mine who is afraid to confess.
"I see,you found that one too"I turned around only to find Sam behind me who was standing so close to me that I could practically feel his breath."You know who it is from?"I asked trying to maintain my balance, begging my legs not to give up in front of him."You don't?"His face told me he did know about my secret admirer."Well...well,How about opening it,Miss?"I did , opening it cautiously not to tear it up.And...I was so happy to see the note that my legs gave up.Sam held me up as he plastered a bright smile on his face for he knew I recognise his handwriting.
* * * *
Ten missed calls, fifteen messages,three voice notes and not a single answered.The smell of wet soil filled my breath as the tears poured down my cheeks.Yesterday morning Sam and I got into a fight.However,I was the one at wrong he would always text me first.Apologising for something he was not wrong about.But this time it was just me.He never texted me.
"I HATE YOU!YOU ARE THE WORST THING EVER HAPPENED TO ME"I yelled feeling I was losing the fight.Sam looked at me as if he was waiting for me to take back my words but I didn't."You don't mean it,love"He reached out to grab my shoulders or to hug me but I pushed him away.Not long after Sam left the house a sense of guilt raged through me.I shouldn't have said that He was actually the best thing ever happened.
Now that Sam was mad at me I need to tell him he is the best thing.His favourite chocolate cookies, vanilla milkshake and brownies were packed in the bascket waiting him to open them.I rang the bell multiple times before it was answered by his mother who looked pale and tired.
"Um...is Sam home?"I asked hoping he does not refuse to see me."I wish he was"she answered with her eyes almost filled with tears as if it was wrong of me to ask about him."He had an accident....he is gone"The three words I said to Sam broke him down so did the three words to me said by his mother.My hands gave up on the basket as her started sobbing.
* * * * *
I stared at ring tracing the beautiful texture."We found this bag and in it were flowers,a ring and his paper blossoms.For you...."He did apologise to me,once again.But at the cost of his life.
"His mother told me that according to the doc he had walked a good distance with his wounds but no one found him in time.His walk was about how much he wanted to live,how much he wanted to love and be loved,how much he wanted to apologise,how much....he wanted us both to have the future we planned.Sam....he was the best thing that happened to me....the best person,the best apology,the best gift"I finished trying to hold back the tears.If he was here he wouldn't want me to cry,right?
* * * * *
I traced the ring on my finger,it was the apology ring which costed him his life."I am sorry.I really miss you" I gave a sad smile as it started to rain.For some unknown reason,I took the shelter under a tree.I wanted to go near his grave sit there even in the rain but couldn't.A soft paper landed in my hands which I assumed to be trash.Why would they throw trash around where their lived ones were buried?
On a closer look,it wasn't trash.It was a paper cherry blossom,same as the one he used to make for me.
'I love you' were the words written inside it.
