After regressing in this same world for 1000th time I came realize that... does it even matter?
For almost 100 regressions I've been trying to very hard to please everyone including my family like breaking my bones almost trying to die but wait! why do they love a girl who they adopted off of some nasty streets.
I know I was not strong I was not intelligent I not clever and sly but still... why? your own biological daughter
Neglect, abuse, marrying me off/ selling me off, brushing off the issue of me being sexually assaulted by older men at young age
After my 100th lives I didn't care I tried persue my true love and yes I did found him but he didn't found ...me
for 200th lives I tried, tried and still tried but found no one
Then I tried becoming stronger going on the battlefield and winning every war gaining a title for myself but did my family still cared?... no
Was I satisfied?....no I always felt being used
People thought of me in different in every different lives but my close ones remained the same even after saving our country, our empire
Now I'm back again in my 6 year old body, this same room, same maids, same family...nothing changed
I sat on my bed looked at my balcony the temptation to jump out of it is too hard to resist, I walked towards it, came on the edge and I started flying
......downwards
*THUD*
The blood flowing out of my head is too pleasing to see
“...heh”
I smiled for the first time, looking at those disgusting people running towards me to ‘help’ me
why? Because I jumped in front of that douchy crown prince
Haah I like traumatizing this bastard on addition it will be to ruin this disgusting family reputation
Aah~ how tempting~
Now my only will to live is to ruin this family and traumatize my ‘lovers’ till my last breathe
They're gonna experience the destruction of this country very~ soon
*laughs maniacally from inside*
I opened my eyes and saw maids with a sorrowful look the room was filled with pitifulness...that disgusted me
my head was bandaged and look who's coming towards this room none other than
A raging boar– OH! I mean ‹Father› what a disgusting thing to say
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT STUNT YOU PULLED!!??!? YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD!!”
I looked tiredly at them, behind my father there was my birth ‹mother›, my ‹two biological brothers›, and oh! look! the green tea bitch or should I say my ‹sister›
His nagging the pests behind him nagging at me lasted for hours about “REPUTATION” and “HOW MUCH TRAUMA I CAUSED THE CROWN PRINCE”
I, giggled, laughed, smiled and said
“I an sorry”
The smile streched from eye–to–eye with no will to live eyes
They got scared and ran away
I was forced to apologise to crown prince
He looked such a scaredy cat so innocent like he doesn't even do a thing to me, to our baby
I will make sure you get scared at the sight of me you bastard
———— Part 1 — End ————
