"Am i really sick ? Social Anxiety..... Fear of crowd, lack of confidence to communicate with people, wanting to stay alone..... Thinking that people are keeping a eye on your every move, heavy breathing..... Feeling like you're in a cage where people come to laugh and judge you for your slightest move. I heard of this symptoms from a medical drama "DAILY DOSE OF SUNSHINE". I always felt like I do have some fear of people but... I maybe ... Maybe I do have social Anxiety. I went to a food exhibition today many people were present.... The moment I step there I felt like they are watching me.... it felt really suffocated. I hate socializing so I stay in my room most of the time or alone or few frnds but in classroom only. The moment I step outside my house my cheeks left up and a smile appears automatically... I can't stop smiling, even when I want to its .. it's really trying and annoying I hate smiling like tht I don't want to... I want to stop smiling I want to stop crying I want to stop thinking too much... It hurts it hurts too much . My heart gets heavy my breathes get heavy
Even, even my mind gets heavy. I hate people looking at me like I am from jungle. I hate people thinking I am dumb, I hate people taking behind my back I hate people looking at me with their jidgemental looks, judging my dress, judging my personality i hate it I hate I hate it . Am I sick ? Do I really have some problem in me ? Do I really have social Anxiety? But.. but they said social Anxiety patients feel like dieing but.. but I hate dieing. I value my life so much ... So am I really sick ? No right ... No right?."
"That's enough Mona get up already you have school today" Mona's mother.
Mona woke up and looked at her hands "i spelt while thinking again..." Chuckles bitterly
"I don't want to be sick god".... "I must go out again where my face smiles without my consent" "am sick".....
~END~
