I will be honest here. I did try to hate you. I did curse you for hurting me. I did blame you for my pain, for my tears. I did try to erase you completely out of my mind. And in some rather desperate and weakest moments, I did want you to suffer this pain too. But that phase did not last. And of course, it did not work to soothe my seething soul. Now, I have made my peace with you, what we had. I don't want to erase you off my life. You will always be a part of it, a brief but beautiful part. Yes, we did have our dark spots, our moments of shame. But overall, it was still a beautiful phase of my life. And don't worry, I am not setting my mind to get you back in my life. I have accepted that we are meant to part ways. You know, I have shed tears, listening to songs. I have choked watching an emotional scene on the screen. Sometimes, I have cried just sitting. Nothing happened, but tears just slid down my cheeks like a rainfall. I have felt every possible low that a breakup can give you. But now, I have healed. I smile. I laugh. I sit in peace. I sleep like a baby. And now I can really look back and look at you again. And what do I feel?
I pray for you, at times, you know. It's not like a formal, long prayer. But yeah, I kind of close my eyes and pray for you to be happy. That's what I feel for you. I want you to be happy. I don't want you to suffer any karma. I don't wish you any harm. It will bring some peace to my soul that you are doing good. Your happiness will set me free in a way. I can be more free in my heart. What were we? We were too close, right? Too damn close, so close that we have cried each other's tears in our eyes. And when your souls have felt so close, how can you not pray for that soul? Can I ever become so heartless? I tried, to be honest. But as it turned out, I was just too pure to be so petty. I know that as life moves on, your face, your eyes, and your name will fade away a little. But trust me, even at my deathbed, you will have a moment of flashback in my heart. Before leaving this planet forever, I would pray for you, one last time🧿🤍
~🌷
