Yesha is a clingy girlfriend of mine, she's sweet and a caring person. We're in a long distance relationship, but despite the distance between us, it never became a hindrance for us to make our relationship last, actually we're almost 2 years and still counting.
In that 2 year relationship, I noticed that Yesha is fond of saying 'iloveyou'. I know it's normal to say 'iloveyou' to your partner, but in her case, she's saying it too often, like every moment in a day.
I didn't mind it before and just go with her vibe, I will just plainly respond to her iloveyous. I love Yesha more than my life, I can see my future in her eyes, and she's the only girl that made me feel so inlove,But now, I guess, I don't feel the same way.
"Iloveyou, love" she said over the video call, but I didn't bother myself to look at her, I just continued doing my homework.
"hey love, I said I love you", she uttered again.
I looked at her for a moment, I can see perplexity and the pain in it, but I didn't mind that and quickly shifted my gaze back to my work.
She cleared her throat before saying a word, it seems like she's forcing herself not to burst into tears, "love, mom and I visited to a physician yesterday, and mom told to me have a mental check up and did you know what was the result?" she paused, "Love, I'm talking to you!" She partly raised her voice for me to hear her.
"Can't you see I'm busy?" I shouted.
"I- i'm so- sorry", she said, stuttering "I love—" before she could continue her words, I immediately end the video call.
I don't know what's happening to me, I know that I love her so much but her presence doesn't give me excitement anymore, her messages seems nothing to me, her 'iloveyous' it doesn't give me butterflies in my stomach anymore unlike before.
That's why I don't like it when she's telling me she love me, because when the 'iloveyou' is always present in a relationship, it will lost its spark, it will become a normal words for the two of you, it won't give you chill anymore.
And weeks after, she have changed. I never heard her saying iloveyou first, it's always me, and sometimes no response.
"Love.. you didn't say 'I love you' to me last night before you slept", I complained.
"Really, I did not?" she asked
"yes"
"I thought I did, sorry. Iloveyou" she said in a sweet voice.
I smiled sweetly as if she could see this smile she's giving to me.
"I love you too so much" I replied.
And the scenario repeat itself. I have to remind her every time about that because she often forget it. I don't know if she felt bad about how I treated her last time but I know my girl, she's an understanding type of girlfriend.
And the situation became worst, she even forgot to call and talk to me for a day. I thought she's just avoiding me but no, she said, she isn't, and she keep insisting that.
Until, one day, she never called again, she never texted me. I couldn't do anything because she's to far from me.
I got more disturbed when my friends told me, "oh bro, you got ghosted", I know that they're just joking but I felt really anxious about it.
I decided to call her through a video call. But in my great horror, it's not her who answered and appeared on the screen, but a guy.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?", I exclaimed.
"OH, CALM DOWN BRO. I THINK I SHOULD BE THE ONE TO ASK YOU THAT, WHO ARE YOU TO CALL MY GIRLFRIEND?" The guy said.
I frozed. I felt my heart beat stopped literally.
"Clein, who are you talking to?", I heard her voice.
"YESHA! YESHA!" I called her.
"Yes?" she answered with an innocent face.
How can she act like that?
"who are you?"
That 3 words she uttered left me dumbfounded. Is she acting like she don't know me?
"Clein, I think you should just drop that guy, maybe it's just a prank or a random call, maybe he's bored with his life, lol" Yesha said.
I came back to my senses when they drop the call. I was so shocked, that was not my girlfriend. She can't say those words, that's too mean of her.
But one thing's for sure, SHE CHEATED ON ME. My life became miserable because of what she did, but I can't even hate her, I can't even forget her. I love her the same. I love her still.
Months passed, I decided to come to see her, despite the thought of she'll just push me away but it didn't changed my mind.
I just want to see her before I'll finally let go of her. Im now outside of their house. I find it easy to look for her house because before she already taught me where her exactly her place at.
I'm outside of their gate, and I can clearly see that they have visitors.
"excuse me?", a woman poked me from the back.
"Umm. I'm sorry ma'am. Where's Yesha?" I asked.
"you are?"
"I'm Ken.."
"Ken Orzoa?"
"Yes, yes!"
"I'm her mom, and you're her ex
boyfriend right?" she cleared out.
"Can I see her, ma'am?", I pleaded
"No, sorry but.. She's getting married"
fck. My tears escaped from my eyes.
"Ma'am, why? we didn't had a proper break up? How can she just forget about me that easy? Our relationship, the memories we shared", I said, and burst into tears.
She put her palm in my face, wiping my tears, "because she just did, she forgot everything, literally"
That made me confused, "what do you mean literally?"
"She have dementia. Day by day she's losing cells from her brain, that made her forgetful, until it got worsened, and she started forgetting people, and the first person she forgot was you.."
I can't utter any words. My body got stuck on the ground. I became numb.
"N-no.."
"And you know what, despite her situation, she's still sweet. She said, when she feel pain on her head, when she feel dizzy, she's always saying 'iloveyou' to us because she said, she don't know when will the time that she can't be able to remember our names, or when she'll forget us. And she's afraid that she might forget that she loves us, I bet she did that to you also.."
"She did, but i- I ignored it.." I said, voice is shaking.
"too bad, and now she forgot everything about you.."
I can feel my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her inside their house, with a wide smile on her face, holding hands with her new boyfriend — fiancée.
I want to shout, I want to tell them that, that girl is mine.
SHE'S MINE! but I can't, because even my girl can't remember that she belongs to me.
I wish I never ignored her 'iloveyous'. I wished I didn't wasted even one.
I never thought I'll never received one of those one day. And the worst part is.. she didn't just forgot to say 'iloveyou' But she even forgot that she love me at all.
End
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