Puberty: Oh Siya, you just turned nine? Let me give you hips and boobs!
9-year-old me: *looking down at chest* wtf? I thought you only came to teenagers!
Puberty: Surprise, beicth! It's fine, the boys won't be too obsessed with randomly grabbing your chest. And you've only got a couple more years in a school with mixed changing rooms. For now, adieu!
12-year-old me: Puberty, come back, I really need a growth spurt!
Puberty: Sorry, hun, no can do. I can give you this though! *stabs me in stomach*
12-year-old me: Aaah! I'm bleeding! Make it stop!
Puberty: We'll see about that when you're fifty. You can have a break if you sign up for my baby plan...
12-year-old me: No. Go puck yourself, Puberty :)
Puberty: Well, well, well, I haven't seen you in a while. Your skin looks great, wouldn't you agree?
13-year-old me: *doubled over from cramps* puck off, I never want to see you again.
Puberty: You know you wanted a growth spurt?
13-year-old me: *perking up* Yeah?
Puberty: Well, I'm a bit of a digg, so you're not getting that. You can get acne as a consolation prize.
13-year-old me: Aaah! My face!
Puberty: Siya.
Present Day Me: *spending all my money on well fitting bras, sanitary pads and skincare products* I never want to see you ever again :)
Puberty: Oh, well then, if you're going to be like that, you can wait another year for that growth spurt.
Present Day Me: PLEASE PUBERTY ALL IS FORGIVEN I'M SICK OF BEING 5'6 !
Puberty is a beitch.
