I think first of all I must introduce you to myself i am a boy who is biggest loser in every thing you can ever imagine........

but still my family and few friends love me very much

and then there come this girl....

name can't say but she said she loved me dearly but the day when the novel is realised she is going to marry

and you must be thinking wow that's so good 🙂

but relax she is marrying someone else.......

yup 😌 just like you I was totally confused what happened just now with me

and one of the very interesting fact we were in relationship for 6.5 / 7 years ya ya now I know you want to know what the **** just happened but yeah that's the truth ……

many times things will happen in your life that you just can't do anything just like this I can't say to my family how much I love her and she is marry for some other reasons ..... although she said she loves me but.........

family is your priorities so can't do anything .....

but still after she left me or no one is around many times I imagine things and situations so in this novel I am going to write that event and maybe they will help you understand that how precious she was to me.......

and many of you must be wandering that what is the meaning of can you live for me...

so the answer is she asked me when we talk a day before my life is going to be in shattered she asked me darling can you live for me and my reply was I can live for you even in worst case scenario but I didn't know that this scenario will kill me every single day 🙂

but I guess it's ok every one has a story and every one has their side of story well so this novel is mine side 🙂

in this past 13 days my life become extremely perfect and then at 13 days extremely shattered just like that.....

if on that 1 day I haven't called her maybe maybe I will be in better State then I am in now but I guess no one can escape the destiny but now in this 13 days experience I have so many lessons that I guess no one can teach me.........

lessons like don't trust anyone otherwise that person will play with you and your feelings and then leave you 🙂

and when you broke totally they will leave you saying you are changed you are not that same person I loved in start or ohhh dear we list the charm of this relationship 😂

see the reason is after the toy get old children many time broke them themselves so they can play victim abd ask their parents for new toy ...........

keep that in mind when someone broke you up remember a shattered mirror can't show face it's only harm himself and his surroundings 🙂

now without saying anything else let's begin.........

hey there I am back with another chapter

but first of all a note the update of the this novel will be on every Saturday and Sunday thanks 😊

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lets continue

things are shattering I don't know what I am going to do....

but I am getting more and more crazy each day...

their are my thoughts that are getting control over me and I don't know how control them either.....

you know their is a thought that make my skin Crawl

And that thought is " someone else will touch her and her body"

everytime I think that this skin Crawl things happened......

I haven't been able to eat for days and now situation is going to get worse why cause my parents know that I have been suffering from something and I don't let them know how much broken I am ....

but they want to know but to be honest I wanna tell but each time I try I am out of word ....

so they have decided to take me to the councelling and see what will happen.......

it's been weeks my councelling take place and now everyone now everything about me and her and what happened I can eat properly now but I still can't control my thoughts , emotion and feeling I let loose them irrespective of the place .....

I am now afraid of going out with people cause I am afraid they will be my emotional breakdown.........

it's been months I haven't got out of my house my counselling take place in my room itself and I am back to human emotions .....

but things are still wobbly with my feelings and emotions but I am doing my best to take control over them .....

tomorrow is my life is going to change again good or bad i don't know....

you read and judge...

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today my life is changed my parents and councillor ask me something that really got my interest to its peak it's months something have caught my attention or intrest they asked me

"what you wanna do? you can do whatever yoy please to do"

I was like really yeah they're ready for anything they just want me too be healthy and strong again that's all they asked for from me so this time I really wanted to help myself to so I said give me some time I will be back with the answer what I wanna do.....

as per I asked they give me a whole day and a night to think about that.....this time when I entered my room I didn't felt chaos and the darkness that keep revolution around me and my bed where I spent my most of the day ...nor the thought of past and what she did to me and my life and all she left me with one freaking question can you live for me......

but this time I can feel the wind that is coming through the window and I can feel the cold and chilling wind that I coming through my window even it's cold it's feels fresh and on a paper I wrote in bold letters I wanna help me caused I can't tolerate this any longer , I can't see my parents sad anymore they are doing their best in their power to make me feel good but till I am not determined to do nothing will happen and and many small and big reason I can't think off to and then I took out another piece of paper and once again I wrote in bold letter what I wanna do ......

I was thinking while mum came with dinner and I had my dinner first cause after all this thinking and write it's been months I felt that good and comfortable with my parents and emotions that are revolving around my mind .....

after dinner I came to down to write again what I wanna do ....

i was thinking for almost midnight but I could find my answer so what I did is I put my hoodie and slowly sneak out of my house and went near by park I really have no clue why I did that but I did it anyway I want a sit on bench and start to think want I want I want .....

when I didn't came across I start to draw something's then suddenly something stike in my mind and I got my answers.....

what wanted to do and that was to get a tattoo ....

yeah it was a long time things I wanted ever since but in this mess I forget about that but not now I will get as soon as possible .....

I was so happy I came back and and slep cause it was about 3 on clock at night 🤣🤣

and next in morning I opened my eyes it was already 10 o clock 🤣 so I went to my dad and asked day you said I can get whatever I want right ??? he said yeah if it is in my power why not .....

so dad I can I get a tattoo ? please 🥺

after a while he was think he said yeah but first select what you want most cause it will be permanent do thing wisely

next thing in afternoon I was a tattoo shop.....

and till night I had a tattoo wanna see how

this is what I get the black line represents life and leaved what we do and flowers are outcome ......

and while I was a tattoo shop I saw something and I came to know what I want do ......

as I came home I showed tattoo to dad mum and my doctor.....

they were happy seeing me happy and then I asked dad I wanna talk about something .....

and them all three sat at dinner table with our dinner and I asked dad can I go on solo travelling ???

off course they dined by after a while of whole drama I somehow managed to convince them and in next three days I will be on solo trip and will this change my life ? I don't know what's waiting for me I don't know......

in just few months my life changed what will happen next come let's see together ......

note since I live in india i am going to national solo trips .....

we will meet tomorrow so see you soon and we will travel together come join me in this wonderful experience ....

with loads of experience and story let this fill your heart with love and empathy .....

Tomorrow my life will change forever...

may this time for good I am hoping and I am fully ready for this journey and I just can't wait to begin my journey just one night....

i can start this chapter from tomorrow morning something happens the night before so I thought I can share with you guys since you guys are going to be my companion in this wonderful journey......

so what happened is when I came back after dinner to check the list I made for my luggage I am not going to carry much just me and my two bag packs .... then suddenly my phone ring first I was very anxious to pick up and cause it's been months I been contact with any of my friends but I just God dam don't know why I pick that freaking call ......

so we talked about 15 to 20 minutes yup and whole conservation was crap and bullshit and everything keeps getting back to one topic did she really got married ? and all other questions that make human queries about once life ......

in those 15 , 20 minutes he again put me in those whole mess of questions and doubt that took me fucking months to come out off...

I can feel the chaos and darkness again revolving about me with more intense then ever cause for months I have been suppressing them deep down in my heart and mind but as we know the more we surpress it more come back with more intensity guess I have a proof regarding that 😂😂😂😂

but I will not let destroy my mood for the very new day I am gonna live to the fullest ....

I somehow managed to sleep but I I can sense the thought and darkness that keep revolving around my back of mind but I managed ....

with bright sun shine I woke up I forgot what happened yesterday night mostly and excited to head out for new journey that is head of me .......

next day I headed outside of my world in months and this time things and human are not scaring me they are rather cool compare to previous time i reached at railway station I have been Delhi's railway station many time but this time things were different liek really different my mum still can't believe that I was going on solo trip and when I will return they don't know

but my father was quite claim respective of my mum that my dad for yeah ....

but just before train was about to leave station dad said something "just keep that in mind we are by your side always just come back safe " as my dad said this I didn't know what to say I nodded and like this train started and the in or so things start to fade away......

last thing I saw was my mum's eyes filled with tears and a gentle smile and dad was claim and waving hands ....

things fade was first family face them human and People and in last station too .....

I still can't believe I was on the train one journey that will give me my next purpose of life and maybe can heal the very inner me and finally bring some peace into my life 🙂🙂🙂🙂

will load of expectation from this world I was set on journey...

with strong wind hitting my face I was watching outside...

and soon enough sun start to set it was one of the most beautiful sunset I have seen till now .....

and unconsciously beautiful word utter from my mouth and I can to conscious to with a sound that came just from my front seat .....

yeah no doubt in taht my young fellow

as I look forward a old man at the age of 70s or 80s was sitting in front me in....

I asked him 😅😅😅 sorry for being rude but I didn't saw you coming and is this your seat just for confirmation I am asking ??

he said with a bright glitter in his eyes and a gentle smile yeah this is my seat and I was bit late so I entered some compartment and I was slowly coming here...

ohh is that so ....

again I started to look outside of windows now most of the sun was fade....

you he asked me so you like sunset 🌇 ?

before I can answer him anything my phone ring!!!!

meet you guys on next Saturday 😉🙂

next chapter will be on next Saturday till then Sayonara ..

and keep smiling