I turned my gaze to her again, her cheeks were wet and her nostrils kept inflaming.

She was crying but she looked beautiful as always, but that was the least of my concerns right now.

She wasn't taking her eyes from me and it was weakening me.

Tears kept running down those cheeks.

I tried figuring what to say to her but everytime I drew a blank.

" That's all " she sniffed but the tears didn't stop.' Say something ' my subconscious tried shouting at me. But it also couldn't generate a sentence.

" I guess this is good bye " she said and I should have said something but my stupid ego. She smiled forcefully and rubbed the tears away.She moved out without a second look at me.

Prologue.

I look around and try to find her in the darkness without any luck, my heart keeps pumping really first. I'm really scared but I don't stop searching for her.

" Jerry " she screams and I look around unable to trace where the voice is coming from." Jerry " I hear her again and again.

Finally I spot her. I run to her direction and as I'm about to reach her.

Suddenly someone jerks her.

" J " she keeps screaming stretching her hand for me to reach it.

" Anisha " I stretch my hand and try to reach for it. They keep on pulling her, I know who's pulling her away from me it's her dad, he looks determined undisturbed of her screaming out my name. I try to reach for her but I also notice that I'm now being held back buy many people, they keep holding me as I struggle to reach for Anisha.

" Let me go " I say but they don't listen. I look back at them and see faces are really farmiliar but I can't remember where I saw them.

I struggle again but they are too strong for me. " Anisha " I scream and struggle but it's all useless. Her dad keeps on drugging her away.

" Jerry, Jerry " I hear them calling me.

" Jerry, Jerry " they are now shaking me.

" Wake up "

My nightmare came to an end.

" I'm up, I'm up " I open my eyes and what was in my sight I couldn't make out what it was. It looks like a bushy face, with dried up lips.

" Ahh " I scream and jump from my messy bed. I hear him laughing.

" Dude why do you put you face so close to me ? " I say to him.

" I was waking you up " he continues laughing.

" Don't do that " I say and collect myself from the ground.

" Wake up it's already 2p.m " he says.

" So? " I say as I lie back on the bed and cover myself again. He pulls the blanket from me.

" Yesterday you said you were going to clean up this mess " he says and I look around the room. It looks really abandoned.

" I will " I say even though I know I won't.

" No get up and move out, go to work and clean up yourself look at you " he says and I think it's a stupid suggestion, how could I possibly look at myself I don't have a mirror. I mean I've taken long without looking into one, it's been a total of ab....

" Hello Jerry..." he snaps his fingers at me.

" Are you listening ? "

" Yeah, yeah "

Good, you've go out and buy some supplies, Philip said he also wants to see you next project in two days so tomorrow you won't be sleeping, meanwhile I'm bringing something home " he smirks and I know what that look is.

" Ahh, again " I growl.

" What ? Nigga's gotta do stuff " he said and walked out of the room.

" And don't forget " he shouts outside the room.

I sigh and lay back down. I don't feel like doing a damn thing, I've heard this feeling for a really long time so much so that it has become part of me.

I finally woke up and brushed my teeth only because I feel like bathing is a lot of work.

Luke my roommate/best friend always gets me to do things I don't want to, he has this new habit of bossing me around. I don't like it, it reminds me of someone.

Opps no, no I shouldn't be thinking.

I had promised myself not to.

But I always do....

I walk over to the kitchen and don't find a single thing to put into my stomach, my stomach is grinding and I think it's fair, it's been about thirteen hours since I put something in it, and I'm dying.It kinda makes me miss Ma. I travel back to my dark room and stumble on clothes all over the floor, I remind myself to clean them up after chewing on something.

I look over to the window and realise how stupid I am. I find some loose change in a trouser I wore about a week ago.

I go to the store and buy something to eat after which I eat and I don't know how I end up on my bed again but I sleep for the rest of the day.

" Bro wake up " Luke keeps on shaking me from sleep.

" I'm up, I'm up " I say to him mostly so he can let go of me.

" It's time to party " I look at him and he is smirking.

" I'm not going " I say and feel I need to sleep again.

" No bro, the party has come to you " he taps me on the chest.

" What ? " I don't think I got whatever he just said to me.

" I've invited her over " he smirks again.

" I'm sorry, who ? " I ask and sit straight on the bed.

" Tina "

" Tina ? "

" Yeah some chick you're gonna see her " he says and stands up.

" Now, shower and put on some clean clothes, I don't want her assuming I'm disorganized like my roommate " he looks at himself and confirms he's smart, lately he likes looking good all the time. " This room, we're gonna keep it locked so hurry up," he looks at his watch. " She will be here in thirty minutes, so hurry " he moves out of my cave.

I'm not sure I know who is coming, but that's me I always care little about what's going on around me.

I do as instructed, I take a shower and find some clean clothes, I find it difficult to identify the clean clothes from the dirty ones so I use my nose, I fail to find something in favour of my nose so I go to Luke's room and pick something there. I head to the living after I'm done. " You're done, perfect timing " he smiles as soon as he sees me. The smile slowly creeps away as I came closer to him.

" Is that my shirt ? "

" Couldn't find something good from mine " I smile and hope he will let it go.

" I told you, don't wear my stuff bro "

" Just for today "

" That's what you said last time, you're a grown up man..." I know he's gonna start giving me one of he's talks.

" Just for today "

" Don't..." I'm saved by the ring is his phone. " Wait a second " he says and picks it up.

" Hello "

" You're at the door "

" Okay give me a sec " he says and suddenly his mood is brightened up.

He sniffs on himself and walks to the door after.

I feel hungry. I walk to the kitchen and find some snacks and chew on those. I hear a soft voice and giggles. I also hear Luke use a softer tone than that he normally uses.

" Hey bro " he comes to me in the kitchen and calls me to take a look at the girl he's just brought home.

I peek from the kitchen and see her fidgeting with her Iphone.She is brown, long black hair, short shorts and a pink blouse and I think she has a applied a lot of make up than she should've.

" So what do you think ? " Luke asks me.

" I thought you were bringing the other one " I say.

" Who Viola ? " he says and I don't know who Viola is but I accept.

" Oh we broke up " he says comfortably.

" So who's she ? " I ask even though I know I won't remember her name after today.

" She's Mary " he says and looks at her smiling.

" What do you think ? " he asks again.

He always asks me whenever be makes me meet one of his conquests. He doesn't know that I only see one girl.

" Bro you need to settle, you change girls, like what, every week " I say as a matter of factory.

" What ? You want me to like fall in love and that stuff " he laughs a little.

" No way look at where that got you " he says and I feel like punching him in the neck.

" So ? Viola ? " He grins.

" She's " I try to find a word to use.

" She's not bad " I say.

" Fair enough " he says and rushes over to the freezer.

He picks three bottles of vodka and hands them to me.

He picks other three and signals me to head to the living room.

I look at the bottles and remind myself not to even take a sip, not even smell them.

I look at the bottles and remind myself not to even take a sip, not even smell them.

" Hey " she smiles at Luke.

" Hey " he places the bottles on the table and sits near her.

" This is Jarad my roommate "

" Hey " she smiles at me.

" Hey " I say meekly and place the bottles on the table I sit on the couch a bit far from them and from the bottles.

" You should've told me you had a roommate, I would've come with my friend " she says to Luke.

" Trust me, that wasn't necessary " he says. I had tried that too, but I always **** it all up.

I try not to sip on the vodka, but Luke and Viola's conversation makes it hard to do so.

I mean I know he's lying to her to get in her pants but that's not the worst part, I don't know whether she's lying to him also. And why the **** do they keep beating around the bush they both know what they want. I take a sip and I don't know when I complete two whole bottles and start blabbing nonsense.

" His just drunk " Luke says to Viola who now looks confused.

" No, no I'm not drunk " I say and try to stand up.

Luke sits me back down, I feel the whole room is spinning.

" She was amazing, man " I say to Luke softly.

" She was amazing " I shout at the top of my voice.

" I think I should head home " Viola suggests.

" No wait " Luke immediately stands up.

" Just a bit " he says to her.

" Luke let her get the **** out " I smile foolishly. Luke shoots me a look. I flash my middle finger.

" Viola "

" I think you have to take care of someone " Viola says and they both look at me.

" What are all of you looking at ? " I say and point to them.

" See " she says and moves out after Luke tries convincing her to stay.

" Look what you did now " Luke looks at me and I can't tell whether he's mad or not but I really don't care.

" Did I tell you how I met her ? " I stand infront of him. I feel tipsy and dizzy. I fall over but he catches me.

" Yes you told me how you met her " he sits me down. I reach for a bottle but he slaps my hand. He collects the bottles and heads to the kitchen. I need my phone I look around unable to see it, especially because I'm seeing things ozzy. I check myself and find it in my back pocket.

I open it and check gallery, I tap on her selfie. She's smiling so that those dimples come out she's wearing a black blouse and her hair is short.

I open contacts and tap in her name, It is ringing.

" I think I should take you to be..." He stops midway seeing me on the phone. I know what he is going to do. I stand up but stumble on the floor, the phone is still on my ear. Somehow he has magically reached me.

" Give me the damn phone " he tries to pull it from me but hold it tight. He sits on me and uses all his energy and snatches it from me.

" You're strong for a drunk person " he says and ends the call.

"I just wanna hear voice " I say almost close to tears.

He laughs a little " No that's not working this time, I thought you deleted her number " he says.

" Luke, Luke, Luke " I pull at his trouser even though he is paying attention to me.

"What ! "

" Luke, Luke " I continue.

" Say it " he looks at me irritated.

" Do you see how beautiful she looks in that picture " I say and smile.

" Yeah she was amazing when you were with her now she's fat, have you seen her " he says. Luke always tries to help me get over her but it doesn't work.

" She's not fat Luke " I say.

" Just let her go man, you broke up long time, you're a mess "

" Feels like yesterday " I say.

" No man it's been..." I hate it when he reminds me.

" Do you know how I met her ? " I change the topic.

He sighs " Yes Jerry I know how you met her "

" I was still sixteen when met her "

" Yes I know you've told me " he picks me from the ground.

" It's a funny story man " I say to him.

" I know, I know " he drags me to my room.

" We met in a car crash "

" I also know that too " he says to make me stop but I don't.

" It was...