I kept on walking, with all the rain pouring down on me. I kept moving forward, glad that the rain was washing away my tears. I kept on moving, wishing that the rain would never stop. Today was a whole lot of day I guess. I wished today never came. Every single event started running in my head. I heard those words, "I never liked you", "please just understand it","you were never the first in my life","excuse me, who loved you","forget all about it", those words sounded like echos to me.

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me when he said those things to me. I felt like my world was crumbling. I was devastated, torn into bits, ready to give up my life, betrayed, confused, too shocked to cry. I wished all those were bad dreams, but unfortunately they were no dreams. All these things had actually happened to me. Oh God!! Where do I go from here was all that kept on repeating in my mind as it seemed that I didn't even know the way to my house anymore. All I could see was blurry blue and nothing else. Those tears covered my eyes but could not leave my eyes.

I managed to find my way out of there immediately and as soon as I hit the road, those tears left their territory and poured freely on my cheeks and down dropping on my white polo. And then, almost immediately, rain began to pour down, soaking me to the core. Somehow, I was thankful that rain came as it helped to wash my tears and calm me down a bit with its coldness.

I found myself regretting why I went there in the first place but it wasn't my fault. After all, I was hoping for the better and not for worse but its like I even met something greater than worse and I felt like killing someone but my hands didn't give in to it rather, they weakened even more.

Only God can save me from this direction situation because am surely going down because of it. I just pray I recover earlier than i thought. Phew!!!

*****

I think I have been on my bed for close to three hours not moving from a place, neither taken off my wet cloths nor my soaked shoes. I don't even care if my hair tangles up. I just lie there like a lifeless being. I am too shocked from today's events to even catch a cold. Right now is not just the right time for a cold or should I say, it seems way better if I catch a cold. At least, it will make me stay at a place.

All I have to do then is just to sit and drink hot stuff to reduce the cold and am pretty sure it will take a long time to get over with. I find myself instantly wishing I caught a cold.God!!

I just need that cold right now, I don't even care if I die from it. I just want to stay home from work.

I look to the right side of my room and the first thing my sight catches is of a rope and I begin to think awkwardly, will it be best for me to hang myself? The rope is very thick and long afterall, it will do just fine. Will I ever recover from this shit?, I asked myself for about the hundredth time in one single day. Why did ever set foot in that mother- fucking place? I keep on questioning myself. That step was a huge mistake. I would never have landed in this mess right now but here I am bearing my troubles all alone and the fool is out there. These questions kept on troubling me over and over again as I kept meditating on those words he said to me. They kept on ringing in my ears like an unending reminder that my relationship of two years just ended like it started yesterday and that it happened so smoothly without me being able to get a hint of distrust or unfaithfulness from him. How coded this whole thing was the whole time. I should have known better. I should have known that he will dump me sooner or later. I realized at this point that I was blind to the truth all this time. Infact, the truth faced me but I refused to see it and accept it. So much for my dumbness and foolishness. Its already been four hours I've been lying on that bed, turning over and over, rolling, falling, standing and lying back again on my bed. This is really going to be tough for me, I say to myself. Well, I guess I now have two options, FACE THE TRUTH or TAKE MY LIFE because as it stands now, my chance of survival is very low. Do you know why???

I just had a ............

My dear readers, I send my greetings to you all

Still me #delight

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