Crazy Texts
#1
Mom
Jenny you're pregnant!
Jenny
wait mom how did you find out?!
Mom
oops autocorrect I meant perfect
Josh
Dude you ran into a man with a beard and said Dumbledore!! you're real!
James
okay what did he do?
James
oh that explains the doing smell if smoke on my jacket 😨
Sarah
there once was a ship that out to sea and the name of that ship was the Billy O' Tea
Yanuz
The winds blew hard, her bow dipped down blow me bully boys blow
Sarah
Soon may the Wellerman come to bring us sugar tea and rum
Yanuz
one day the tonguin' is done we'll take our leave and go
Yanuz
seriously it's like 3:00 in the morning why are you texting me
Sarah
why are you replying to me
Zeke
Some one changed my contact names who is this?
Darth Vader
don't change it.
Darth Vader
I'm Darth Vader, I'm your father
Zeke
no really who is this
Darth Vader
I'm really your farther 🤪
Darth Vader
don't change it.
#2
Beth
oops sorry my cat ran across my keyboard
Beth
want to hear a secret?
Daughter
Dad! Scott cheated on me!
Dad
Hunny, I am your father. I'll be home in 15 minutes with a shot gun and throwing stars, we shall begin plan "removal of Scotts balls". do you copy?
Daughter
OMG dad! copy that :) Should I bring the paintball gun?
Dad
No but don't forget about the sea salt.
Dad
More than he could count :)
Son
Dad what us alcoholic? 🤔
Dad
Son do you see those 4 cars? An Alcoholic would see 8.
Son
But dad there are only 2
James
If you have 10 cakes and I take 2 how many cakes would you have?
James
what if I force you??
James
what if I steal them?
James
... I worry about you sometimes.
Yanuz
Hey baby can we play a game?
Yanuz
okay 1.if you could travel around the world with 1 person, who would you pick?
Sarah
Oh, well that's easy. I would pick Dora. That bi*ch has every thing in her backpack.
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