For the past 11 1/2 years, I've been living in this miserable world. I lived my life as normal as I possibly could...but none of it was normal. For I new the truth... I new it. They just didn't know... I found out by accident, it wasn't intentional. It was on that day when it struck me...

*Age of 6*

I was running down the hall to find my father in his office. I wanted to play with him soo much.

"Daddy, can you pwwwease play with-" I started to say, but then stopped. He was screaming and I can tell that he was absolutely irritated. As a child, I was bound to be curious and nosy. Putting my nose into something where it doesn't belong. I peaked through the gap in between the half opened doors and listened....quietly.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU COULDN'T FIND THE CURE? FOR MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER, I HIRED YOU! YET YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO WHAT I'VE REQUESTED? I'm telling you by the end of this week if you haven't found the cure yet, you'll be FIRED. FIRED - YOU HEAR ME?!"

There was a long pause... I grew tired and decided to return to my room. I'll go play with daddy later, I thought. As I was about to leave... something struck me....

"STOP SPOUTING NONSENSE! MY DAUGHTER ISN'T GOING TO DIE BY THE AGE OF 21!!"

I was stunned. I stopped in my tracks and rewinded his words back and forth. Sure I was little - I didn't get the details, but I knew what it meant. I proceeded to go to my bedroom. I lied on my bed for several hours. Not knowing how to respond to what my father had said. So I did what most kids would probably do. I decided to pretend like I've never heard a thing.

All my life, it has always been me and my father. I didn't know what my mother was like because... well- she died of the disease too. It's not a contagious disease, just a genetic one. My mother died within the first few minutes of me breathing in this world. Even though I've never met her, looking at her old pictures or at other kids with their mother- made me yearn for a loving mother.

As time went by my father became more irritated and impatient. But he will always comfort me saying

"Annalise dear, you'll be cured soon" and smiles at me.

Even though I clearly know that it was all a lie. Besides, he was the one needing comfort not me. I've seen many doctors, in and out of the door. One by one they all leave, none having a clue or a cure to this mysterious disease. They come in and the next second they leave. Not long after, my father grew hopeless and soon enough he. lost. his. sanity...

He was then sent to the physiatrist hospital for help. It was my fault... I'm the one to blame. I knew that, even at the young age.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I tired to say, but nothing changed.... I repeated it countless times hoping and wishing that I can just rewind the past. But no matter how much I hope, wished, or begged. It led me no where but to the miserable reality.

"Gomen, Gomen dad... Sorry for being such a curse."

That was the last thing I've said to my father... Sorry.

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Author: Thanks y'all for reading! This is gonna be a really short story with really no "ending." Hope y'all enjoy :)

Alone shall I be in this world. Engulfed in the dark reality. The sad memories lingers within me and the light starts to fade. I Felt nothing but a neverending wave of pain.

Pain... what is pain? sometimes I forget that I'm in pain. And sometimes I suddenly have a shocking wave of emotions. Why just why...Life is already so chaotic.

Soon after the incident, I was sent to my uncle's residence. When my uncle first saw me, he embraced me in his cold arms. It was cold. I felt bad for him too - considering the fact that his older brother has lost his sanity.

"I'm sorry Annalise...it must've been hard for you. Remember that you are always welcomed here," He patted me on the shoulders and squeesed my hands.

I nodded. I knew what he said was all out of pity. For deep down inside, I know that he didn't want to take custody of me, but he was my closest relative.

I couldn't remember when I stopped talking, but I did. My life went dark. My eyes were dull. Not one person to 'care' for me. My cousins were always talking behind my back and my aunt mostly just ignored me. & well uncle barely comes home from work. I felt lonely and hopeless. All I ever wanted was to live a normal life. Having someone to be by my side and tell me truthfully that 'everything was going to be okay.' Was that too much to ask for? Haha...It must have been because that never happened. Not even once.

I isolated myself in my room almost everday. I don't even dine with my so-called family because I'm “too fragile” and “can get sick easily.” All I could do is read books to escape time. One say, "Don't depend too much on anyone in this world. Because even your own shadow leaves you in the darkness...." They were right. I was drowning, but nobody, not one person, saw my struggle.

I closed off the world & built a barrier. I'll instantly shut anyone off. My cousins always taunted me or made fun of me. They call me "the lifeless ghost" or "the muted person." They were really immature. I tried my best to ignore them... but it wasn't that easy. Sometimes I wanted to cry, sobb, scream, yell, DIE! But...but I couldn't. My tears wouldn't come out. It hurts, it hurts.

I was going to die anyways why not die now, I thought. But there was always something stopping me...

It was my heart. My damn heart.

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Author: Sad right? Well that's literally the whole point. I'm trying to portray all these emotions that one could be feeling at those times. It's hard, difficult, stressful... I wanted this story to spread awareness and to show more of the reality side than the unrealistic ones.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Of course I had to take treatments every single day. Takes 2-3 hours a day. If fast enough, then just 2 hrs. I tend to get sick, have low immunity, and faint a lot. I usually faint of the stress and malnutrition. But even so, I hated taking treatment and having doctors check up on me. I feel even more useless. And what was the point if I was going to die sooner or later.

I tend to cry myself to sleep or try to fantasize about a world without having to worry. A happy life for sure. But when I woke up, I knew that it was all a dream. Reality hits hard and it was sad.

*Age 18*

"Annalise! I need to talk with you for a moment," my uncle called for me from his office.

I ran down the stairs and knocked at the door waiting for my permission to go in.

*knock*

*knock*

*knock*

"Come in, please have a seat," he gestured me to the vacant chair.

what's going on? Uncle never calls me to his office....unless it's important...

"Ahem, I'll like to announce that you'll be attending to the same college as your cousins soon," He started to say but noticed my anxious expression.

I flinched of the thought... it was disturbing. If you know my cousins, you'll feel disturbed too. If it's anywhere else, I'll gladly agree. But their school?!

"It's okay Annalise, I know you have been doing homeschooling for all your life, but for the second trimester of college - I was thinking it would be better for you to go and experience college life. I think It'll be good for you... what do you say?"

I didn't know what to do or what to say...Yes or no.... If I go, I'll have to interact with more people - especially my cousins. But really, it's better than staying trapped at home for 24 hrs. So.. I took my chances to go to college.

I nodded my head and agreed to his proposal. As I left his office, I heard both my cousins snickering and giggling. They thought I got in trouble...Gosh, *t*hey are definitely immature. And then...

“WHAT?!! WHY IS ANNALISE GOING TO OUR SCHOOL?!!”

“Yea, ARE YOU KIDDING ME DAD?!”

*pffft*

I guess they didn't know we are going to the same school...

Their reaction was priceless.... I swear that I could've laughed if I didn't experience the trama...

The rest of the day was blur. I flopped onto my bed and my mind went blank. A whole lot just happened... But I was certain of one thing. Life is going to be harder, that's for sure. And then I fell into deep sleep. That was the first time that I had a nice sleep.

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Author: Heyooo, thanks you guys for reading and supporting this novel. It's a short one, but definitely a touching one. I promise - I hope so.

Anyways, Thanks and Loveya ♡